Social Question

nikipedia's avatar

Do you and your partner differ significantly on any moral issues?

Asked by nikipedia (27300 points ) November 1st, 2011

I’m a pretty vocal herbivore and haven’t eaten meat in years. My boyfriend does and asked me to pick some up for a dinner party we’re having later this week. I did it, but I did not like it.

Are there any important moral issues that you and your partner disagree on? Does it have any practical manifestations? How do you resolve it?

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31 Answers

Jude's avatar

I can’t think of anything that we disagree on (as far as moral issues).

YoBob's avatar

I can’t think of any moral issues we disagree on, and for the most part we see eye to eye on political issues as well. However, there have been a few differences of opinion over the past couple of decades. Thankfully they have all been relatively minor.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Yes, a few but the biggest issue is I am pro choice and pro abortion whereas he is anti abortion but not aggressively so. We don’t anything so far we are in opposition about that can’t have compromise.

Coloma's avatar

Not anymore. I divorced him 8 years ago. Me, myself and I are very morally integrated. lol

tinyfaery's avatar

The only differences we have now is that she will eat non-organic chicken and I will not. How do we survive?~

JLeslie's avatar

No, nothing significant. We view a few political issues slightly differently. We also are slightly different about how much we think of society at large vs. ourselves.

What I really cared about was he felt the same about abortion and what to do if we were pregnant with a fetus that had significant genetic problems. I also cared about how he treated and viewed women and women’s rights, and how he treated people in general. I also cared about how he viewed education and his work ethic. What I did not think of at the time we were dating was to find out where he stood on how to discipline children. We don’t have children, but we had thought we would be parents. Not too long ago a conversation came up among our friends, and I realized by luck my husband and I are very similar on this front, but easily it could be different and you would never know until you have the children. If he had been a corporal punishment person I would have not known what to do. I never could have stood by while he hit my child.

If I was a vegetarian for humane reasons it would be difficult for me to live with meat in my house I think. Although, most of my vegetarian relatives and friends do have meat in their house because of their SO.

wundayatta's avatar

She was always upset when we talked about religion. She seemed to take my feelings about religion personally. She didn’t understand that I could love the sinner while hating the sin.

smilingheart1's avatar

@wundayatta, yes that is it exactly!!!

Cruiser's avatar

No…but politics we have. I don’t she will make that mistake ever again.

wundayatta's avatar

@smilingheart1 I hope you don’t get the wrong idea. I’m the atheist.

Judi's avatar

My hubby and I are in sync, but my first husband would think “BONUS!” if a cashier gave them to much money or forgot to charge them for something. He didn’t have as strict a moral code as I did and it caused a lot of problems, especially when it came to raising the kids.

YARNLADY's avatar

Not that I can think of. We both agree on things that really matter. (Married 36 years so far)

marinelife's avatar

No, not really.

rojo's avatar

Abortion, she is for a restricted use. I am more for a womans choice at all times.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Not that I know of. Vicky and I have talked about everything under the sun. We disagree mostly on things relating to the house, but even that is seldom. I always defer to her, since she’ll be living in it a lot longer than I will, probably. But moral issues? Not that I’m aware of.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Yes, we disagree on a lot of things. My husband, however, is not especially passionate about any of them, so I always figure eventually he’ll switch to my side. lol. No, but seriously… we don’t agree on much of anything as far as the “big” issues go. It has never affected our marriage, though.

HungryGuy's avatar

It depends on what, exactly, those moral issues are.

For example, if you oppose killing and your boyfriend is a Mafia hitman, I’m guessing that’s probably a deal breaker.

But if you’re vegetarian and your boyfriend isn’t, that more gray area (though I have to say that your boyfriend asking you to pick up meat knowing you’re veg is an asswipe move).

nikipedia's avatar

@HungryGuy, it was ok. He’s making it as a favor for my friends for my dinner party, and he let me buy the cows from the happy farms that cost twice as much. And he checked to make sure I was ok with it first. It made more sense than having him make a separate trip.

janbb's avatar

We agree pretty much on moral issues. There are some political issues that I am more passionate about than he but that is more caused by our different personalities than by any real disagreement. We came from very different backgrounds and cultures and yet had very few disagreements while raising our kids. (Cooking together can be a different story!)

downtide's avatar

No differences on moral issues but we differ on spiritual ones. It doesn’t cause any problems or arguments at all though.

fizzbanger's avatar

We both don’t take much of anything too seriously. He pays more attention to politics. If I wanted to make any kind of huge lifestyle change he would probably go along with it for support, and vice-versa. I wouldn’t get mad at him if he didn’t.

In your case, maybe he could have purchased the meat himself? Just to avoid some discomfort on your part.

Seaofclouds's avatar

We don’t have any significant moral differences. We do have some slight ones which make for some awesome discussions sometimes, but nothing that would cause a problem between us.

Linda_Owl's avatar

I don’t see the differences between menu items as being moral issues. Yes, I know that a lot of animals are produced in less than humane circumstances, but I have no control over that situation & most of these animals only exist because people choose to eat them. If people should stop eating them, they would all be immediately slaughtered because they fill no natural niche. As far as that goes, plants also have a nervous system & make subsonic sounds when they are harvested. We all have to eat…..

nikipedia's avatar

@Linda_Owl, plants do not have a nervous system. For many people, myself included, eating meat is a moral issue, not a matter of preference.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t think so. Can’t think of anything.

Leanne1986's avatar

No, we pretty much agree on most things of this nature. At least, he tells me he agrees with me!!! I am a little more passionate about certain things where he can be a bit more laid back but that’s the extent of our differences.

@downtide My boyfriend and I differ on spiritual beliefs as well. I believe in God/a higher power and he leans towards not believing whilst keeping an open mind.

augustlan's avatar

Not anything major, though we differ on spiritual issues, as well. I’m an atheist, and he’s a deist.

What is so interesting (and incredibly frustrating) to me is that we both have the same beliefs on a majority of ‘big issue’ items, yet he considers himself a Republican (really, libertarian, but feels Republican fits closest out of the viable political parties) and I’m a flaming liberal. This actually caused us some major problems during the last election.

I just could not wrap my head around why my husband wanted to vote for McCain, when he agreed with me on every single political issue. Made me crazy! We argued about it quite a bit, and it was very stressful.

Finally, I ended up doing a shit-ton of research on each of the candidates (with help from a lot of jellies), and spent a good two or three hours going over it with my husband in order to show him that he was planning on voting not only against his actual beliefs, but against his own self-interest, too. In the end, he voted for Obama. Yay!

Sadly, this has not stuck with him. He’s right back to claiming to be a Republican. I foresee trouble ahead, come election time. :/

JLeslie's avatar

@augustlan I have many friends who we agree on 90% of the political issues and they are Republicans. And, it is not the big dividers that usually come up like abortion, they are almost all pro-choice republicans.

I think Democrats are like Libertarians on social issues, so that is easy, and even on many fiscal issues a lot of Democrats are very moderate, I am. The only exception for me is healthcare I am extremely left.

The Republicans are so far from Libertarian on gay marriage, and women’s rights it is mind boggling.

I have a girlfriend that is so far left she is almost a communist, a communist idealist, seemingly naive hippie girl who happens to be 60. She voted for McCain.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

I am not currently in an exclusive relationship, but I’ve been with guys I didn’t always agree with. Our disagreements (over things that meant a lot to us) should have been red flags, but I was so determined to make the relationships work that I convinced myself they didn’t matter. When I look back, I feel like we shouldn’t have lowered our standards for each other. Feeling like walking on eggshells around someone isn’t healthy in a relationship.

YoBob's avatar

Hmm… the only thing that comes to mind is our views on requirements for receiving welfare.

She believes that in order to receive one’s check the recipient should be required by law to also receive an injection of a birth control that will render them sterile during the period of time that the rest of us are footing the bill for their care and feeding.

While I too am totally appalled at the whole “baby factory” mentality of some. I take issue with the state requiring one to submit to an unwanted medical procedure. However, I do believe there should be some clause in the rules that states that you don’t get extra money if you get pregnant multiple times while the rest of us are paying your bills. (Alas, this does skew responsibility towards women. But the harsh reality is that we all have to live with the biological realities of gender)

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