What rules would you add to the "how to fake your own death" rulebook?

Make sure that someone writes to your college alumni magazine to tell them that you’ve died. (Yes, I’ve seen this happen as a prank. Not a tasteful one, but certainly effective.)

Don’t attend your own funeral.

Use only blanks in your gun.

Stop updating your Facebook status immediately upon your demise.

Do not use your credit cards.

Choose a corpse that is at least the same gender as yourself.

Do not make any TV appearances even if you win lotto.

If you get a traffic ticket do not show them your ID

And don’t have lunch at the diner where all of your co-workers like to go on Fridays. Sometimes they end up going on Wednesdays. And wouldn’t that be embarrassing if they saw you chewin’ on sloppy Joe when you’re supposed to be dead?

And don’t come on Fluther asking questions about a man you know and his wife and some young lady that you all know. Especially if the young lady is kind hearted.

I ‘faked’ somebody else’s death once, by the way.

Never ever get caught owning a copy of a How To Fake Your Own Death rulebook.

Don’t call your Mom on Mother’s Day or send gifts to anyone on holidays.

As tempting as it might be do not continue to use your Starbucks rewards card after you “died”.

@Cruiser I think you articulated my downfall in the whole Faking Death arena.

Don’t bother to file for your income tax refund or Social Security Benefits.

Do not take your pets with you.

Do not apply for a job in Law Enforcement.

Do not go to your mothers funeral.

Don’t hire Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman.

1. Don’t let your Internet Browser history/cache have any record of you having Googled: “How to Fake My Death”

2. Do not attempt to let family and friends know that you’re alive and well..for example, Christmas cards are a bad idea.

3. Do expect to need to leave the country and never come back.

Dress up in a duck mask and rob a bank before dying.
I mean, what’s the point of faking your death if you can’t make your escape on a 6 month world cruise. That’ll only set you back about $100k.

1. Drink a potion that slows all your organs in your body, to make it seem like you’re dead. Go through with the funeral and everything. Then when you are buried underground, use your ninja skills to remove the tombstone, and go out. This way everyone you know knows you are dead. It is official.
2. Flit like a vampire to a very small, unheard of state, and create a new ID, get a new look. And live your life in a discreet manner.
3. Be very careful. Make a new Facebook, choose a new name. Etc etc.
Awesome right?

Don’t involve a canoe!?!
I’m assuming most brits will catch my drift….pun intended.