Social Question

lianajames's avatar

My boyfriend is always so animated and talkative; why does he get so shy and awkward about intimacy?

Asked by lianajames (29 points ) November 13th, 2011

Alright, I have a question about my boyfriend, Joey. He’s 25 (I’m 23) and he’s a very… Interesting person. Now don’t get me wrong with anything I’m about to say; he’s an amazing boyfriend. We’ve been together for almost 3 years now (We live together as well) and I love him more than anything. He’s such a kind, caring person, and he actually understands my emotions and listens so well and can always make me laugh, even when he’s not trying to. I just couldn’t ask for anyone more amazing. :) Anyways, he’s a very interesting person. I find that after almost three years of us being together, he’s still sort of weird about certain things. Sometimes, he acts sort of shy and awkward about intimacy. Sometimes he even acts like this when we’re cuddling and he’ll move his arm around me or something and he’s just so reserved about it. Also, sometimes when either of us initiate sex, the foreplay is a lot of him being sort of awkward and shy and making jokes to try and cover that up.

He’s not an awkward person any other time; he even acts and sings so he’s not really awkward at all. He’s very charismatic, so to speak, and he’s very animated the rest of the time, which I love about him. He also had two serious girlfriends before me, so it’s not like any of this is new for him. I just don’t get how he’s so talkative and lively every other time, but once we get intimate in any way, he gets shy and awkward. I mean, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with what he’s doing. We have a great sex life and as I said, I love him more than anything. I’m curious why this happens. Why would he act like this?

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7 Answers

chyna's avatar

Does he really like sex? Maybe he is just inhibited about sex and how to perform. You should try talking to him, tell him what you like, ask what he likes or would like to try.

marinelife's avatar

Why don’t you wait until you are not in an intimate time and ask him about it. Be sure and preface it with the fact that you are not complaining about anything.

Coloma's avatar

Simple. Intimacy is ” in-to-me-see” brings out the extreme fear of vulnerabilty we all have at times. Like going belly up in front of a Grizzly bear and hoping you won’t be gutted. lol

Teja's avatar

Take what you have posted here and share this with him.

We obviously don’t know Joey so any advice would be just based on the two paragraphs you’ve provided.

Sher_King's avatar

Joey sounds a bit like me hehe. Im sure he is not awkward all the time and maybe you need to find new ways of making him feel more comfortable. I think his mood has a lot to do with it. I dont think its about him being shy. :)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t get how you haven’t addressed this issue in 3 years. Clearly, you want to know why he’s this way. Keeping it inside doesn’t help.

Sunny2's avatar

Welcome to Fluther!
I agree that sharing this page with him is a good way to initiate a discussion.

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