Social Question

prioritymail's avatar

Bad guys are no good and good guys are boring. Agree?

Asked by prioritymail (1617 points ) November 29th, 2011

I just heard that in Mary J Blige’s song Mr. Wrong. I also watched a small portion of a Millionaire Matchmaker episode where she essentially said the same thing by saying you pick personality over looks for a serious relationship (whereas looks might be more important in a non-serious relationship). What do you think? Is it possible to have it all?

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28 Answers

lillycoyote's avatar

No. Bad guys are exciting sometimes, but they are mostly all alike. But good guys? There are all sorts of good guys out there and a whole lot of them are not boring at all; they are just not bad. And there are all sorts of ways to be a good guy and to be fun and interesting and to make you want to be around them. But, and this has just been my experience, there are limited number of ways to be bad, in my opinion. That gets boring, pretty quickly, if you ask me. That’s just the way I see it. A personal opinion.

zensky's avatar

Sucks when you’re a boring bad guy.

everephebe's avatar

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

judochop's avatar

The best way to usually have fun should always start off with a gasoline fire, a cut needing stitches and about 15 shots of well whisky. Only to be followed up with a stolen car, broken windows and stolen hot dogs at 3am from the food vendor. End it off with sex under strobe lights, a yelling match between the neighbors and a dog that won’t stop barking and you have yourself the best least boring night ever.
Then wake up and go to church two days later

jrpowell's avatar

I have took a shit on a newspaper and smeared it on a cop car. But I have also never cheated on anyone. I guess this makes me the dream boy of every high school girl.

zensky's avatar

I have taken a shit… I have corrected grammar here, but I haven’t cheated on anyone. Does that make me boring? Oh, yes indeed.

judochop's avatar

@johnpowell and @zensky I think I would lurve you both fifty times right now if I could.

TexasDude's avatar

I’m a good guy and exciting.

Bellatrix's avatar

What defines a man as a ‘bad’ guy and what makes him a ‘good’ guy? Surely all individuals have good or bad in them? There are good looking men who behave like perfect gentlemen to their ladies and some damn ugly fellows who are complete arseholes and seem to cheat at the first opportunity. I prefer to treat people as individuals. If they don’t treat me with respect and care, I don’t want to know them. Doesn’t mean they will treat everyone that way (although if that is their nature it is likely they will) and it doesn’t mean they will always behave badly. Some men take a while to grow up (as do some women).

Aethelflaed's avatar

Not really. Bad guys are interesting in a “scared for your life” kinda way, sure, but good guys often have views and beliefs and insights and knowledge and passions and bons mots that make them interesting in a different way. And I’d rather spend time debating which Star Trek captain was the most commanding than worrying about police involvement any day of the week.

Scooby's avatar

I was a bad guy; but then I grew up :-/
Does that make me boring or interesting???

rts486's avatar

You have to be kidding. Bad boys are simply dysfunctional, and over time are too predictable and boring. While some good boys are boring, many lead very exciting lives without being dysfunctional. Plus, because they don’t spend their time in jail or unemployed, they have the money and time to do the exciting stuff bad boy couldn’t even conceive of. You need to learn to find these ones. That is unless you enjoy financially supporting a dysfunctional bad boy.

LuckyGuy's avatar

<—- Boring but functional guy.

Just for the record, many boring, good guys are not interested in women who liked and had relationships with bad, dysfunctional guys. They often carry too much baggage.
They prefer a boring, good woman.

marinelife's avatar

Your statement is very simplistic.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’m with marinelife. Don’t try to label us one or the other. Some of us combine both and have a helluva good time at it.

JLeslie's avatar

My good guy is definitely not boring. That is just ridiculous.

Blackberry's avatar

I don’t agree at all.

MissAusten's avatar

Anne of Green Gables said it best: “I wouldn’t want someone truly wicked. Just someone who could be wicked but would choose not to.” Or something along those lines.

6rant6's avatar

Eye of the beholder. Nuf said.

Paradox25's avatar

Most ‘bad boys’ are really immature, boring, overconfident and overprideful little kids whose whole existence is dependent upon others perceiving them as ‘bad’ or ‘cool’. Boy if I counted the amount of times that I had to end up doing the braggard bad boy’s work for him at the workplace because in the end he didn’t really have the ability to do it (though he bragged about how he could do everything) I’d still be counting. If women want to be turned on by a facade then so be it. The OP’s statements are a false notion.

wundayatta's avatar

I always wanted to be a bad guy. Bad guys get all the girls. A former avatar of mine meant “bad ass” in English. It was aspirational.

I have been a bad guy since then. So, in one way, I became what I wanted to be, except I never really felt like a bad boy. Even though I did things that hurt people, I never wanted to hurt them, and so I never felt like I was truly bad.

In the course of being bad, insofar as I thought other people would think me, if they knew what I did, I discovered that I was interesting to women. So how’s that for a kick in the head lesson? Being bad drew women to me. Hmmmm.

Now I’m good again, and everything is stable and ordinary. My wife and I are doing well again. I have no desire to get bad again. I’m just fine with trying to get a little more “good.”

There’s more to life, I guess, then getting laid. There’s more to a relationship than attracting a beautiful girl who wants to pull down your pants at the least glance. Those things are fun, of course, but as you get older, I think one sees them in a greater perspective. The bad boy thing is still fun, but it’s also fun to be a good boy. In either case, you can find people who will love you. What else do you want?

linguaphile's avatar

Good looking bad boys are nice to look at, but I haven’t met one yet that’s good for anything more than sharing stories. Some can’t even pull off that part…

In college, I was the kind of person who didn’t have a crowd, but group-hopped and met a diverse number of very interesting people, including several ‘bad boys.’ For me some of them are more of risktakers/thrillseekers than mean guys, slackers or mooches. I loved hanging out with the risktakers from time to time, but not the others.

HungryGuy's avatar

The same can be said of girls…

donning my flame-proof undies now :-p

Bellatrix's avatar

No need for flame-proof undies. It is a fair comment I think.

Symbeline's avatar

That’s why antiheroes rock.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

No, I don’t agree. Life isn’t a comic book. I believe the matchmaker is still single and her engagement was broken.

LostInParadise's avatar

I heard many years ago that the most successful personal ad in the Village Voice (that is Greenwich Village in NY) consisted of two words: “Mr Wrong”

MissAusten's avatar

I think the answer to this is going to vary from person to person, but to me confidence is a very attractive trait. Lack of confidence is very unattractive. Unfortunately, there are a lot of men who cross that fine line between confidence and asshole-ness and a lot of guys who seriously lack confidence, initiative, or whatever, and like to whine about how they are “nice guys” and can’t find love. The men I know who call themselves nice guys are nice, but also let everyone around them take advantage of them, can’t stand up for themselves, and blame other people for their problems while making excuses for why they can’t do this or that to improve their lives. Those are the guys I hear complain about girls not wanting nice guys.

But obviously, the vast majority of people don’t neatly fit into one or the other category usually but are anywhere along the scale.

I call my husband my reformed bad boy. He was quite a terror before we met, so bad even I wouldn’t have dated him. He got his act together and is one of the most decent and honorable people I’ve ever known. He still has the same confident approach to life and a very wicked sense of humor, though. He’s my perfect bad boy. :)

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