Social Question

the_overthinker's avatar

By observation alone, how do you differentiate flirting, with harmless flirting?

Asked by the_overthinker (1223 points ) December 12th, 2011

Besides being able to directly ask the person if they are flirting harmlessly, or actually want the flirting to lead to something more, how do you personally examine their attitude? How do you tell?

Perhaps you analyze their facial expression, the way they flirt, or.. their personality alone?

Personal experiences and examples welcome

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

13 Answers

fundevogel's avatar

I’m kinda retarded at picking up sexual cues (I fail at human sublty), but generally speaking if someone flirts with a lot of people in the same style with in the same social group I assume it is “harmless flirting’. If I manage to pick up on other flirting I’d probably regard it as more serious or testing the waters.

JLeslie's avatar

All flirting with me is harmless because I am married and no plans to cheat. I say that meaning no matter what the other person’s intention is it doesn’t matter. As far as single people go, probably most men are always willing to follow through on a flirt, women not as much. I think the only way to know where it is going is to ask for a phone number, additional date, or if the other person moves on from you and doesn’t come back to talk again.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Body language and extended eye contact.

Bellatrix's avatar

The only way to really know is to ask or to see how far the person goes. For instance, they might be married and flirt all the time but with no intention of taking things further or they might be married and flirt all the time and often do take things further. No way of knowing really until you either confront them and ask or you wait and they take things to the next step.

AshlynM's avatar

If they make a ton of eye contact with you. Also, if they smile at you alot and find ways to constantly touch you.

janbb's avatar

I think it is very easy on the Internet to go too far with flirting and get confused about the other person’s intentions – or your own. In person, time will tell and as others have said, observingtheir behavior with others compared to yourself.

erichw1504's avatar

@janbb Hey there ;)

janbb's avatar

@erichw1504 Wriggles eyebrows and moustache back atcha.

CWOTUS's avatar

I don’t know of any kind of flirting that’s not harmless. Is there harmful flirting? “Serious” flirting would be farther along on the continuum toward “seduction”.

downtide's avatar

I don’t think I would notice if someone was flirting with me at all.

saint's avatar

Flirting is just flirting. It is harmless until people at best tell each other their secrets, and at worst start taking off their clothes.

Blueroses's avatar

There’s something about having somebody’s attention focused entirely on you that makes a body flush with sexual interest.
I’ve been called a natural flirt. When I’m interested, I focus (on people of either gender). It’s not necessarily sexual but I’ve been on the other side too, and being the center of another’s interest is intoxicating.

fundevogel's avatar

@Blueroses I love flirting with female friends! Actually I think I’ve done all my best flirting with straight female friends. I think maybe since we all know it’s harmless flirting we’re comfortable being pretty ribald.

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