Social Question

AshLeigh's avatar

Am I being unreasonable?

Asked by AshLeigh (14566 points ) November 10th, 2011

So, the other day my friend Joey texted me and said “So, I know I have a friendship with you for a reason. And you’ve showed me that there really are people that are out of my league, both on the inside and the outside. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as cool as you. But I’m gonna stop talking to you for a while, because I really need to get over you. I like you, and you don’t like me, so I’d like to move on. Sorry.”
I was cool about it, I just said “It’s fine, I understand. Take all the time you need, and just talk to me when you’re ready.”
Then today, I was sitting with some of our mutual friends at lunch, and he came to sit with us. Then out of nowhere he said “Hey Izaak have you ever liked an amazing girl who didnt like you back? So you had to like force yourself to stop talking to her so that you could get over her and stop wasting your time?” then he looked at me like I should go away. Like I was invading his space, when he’s the one who came near me.
So I said “Wow. Hint hint. Jerk.” and I walked away.
I honestly don’t see why I shouldn’t be mad about that. He talks about me like I’m not even there, and acts like this is all my fault… Now he says I’m being a bitch. Am I?

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30 Answers

EmptyNest's avatar

No. He’s hurt and he’s mad and trying to hurt you. Ignore him.

cockswain's avatar

That guy sounds like a massive dork. For real. You were far more kind than I would have been. I’d have ripped the piss out of that nerd.

AshLeigh's avatar

@cockswain, well, we were in Jeffs room, and he has it in his head that I’m not a mouthy little wench… So I kept it nice. :/
You have an amazing name, by the way. >.<

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

No you’re not being unreasonable. He’s just mad that when told you he needs to move on, you just said ‘fine’. He wanted you to give a shit, to try to stop him. Mind games up he wazoo. He’s not worth it.

AshLeigh's avatar

But I didn’t want to stop him… I told him a long time ago where we were, and where we were going… Which was nowhere.

rojo's avatar

I agree 100% with @Simone_De_Beauvoir on this one. That and he is a guy.

Haleth's avatar

What everyone else said, but on top of that he’s trying to purposely rile you up so you’ll think about him. It seems to be working…

AshLeigh's avatar

@Haleth, only in bad ways.

rojo's avatar

Walk away girl, walk away.

AshLeigh's avatar

@rojo, I believe that’s what I did. Right after he called me a bitch, and I called him something that’s NSFW. ;)

rojo's avatar

Good, You did what both of you needed to have done. Now, be strong and DO NOT give in and have anything else to do with him.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Any time someone asks if they are being unreasonable… they are being reasonable.

cazzie's avatar

He doesn’t want to be friends. He’s pissed that his feelings are unrequited. He also must have a pretty selfish ego to treat you like that in front of your friends. It’s called passive aggressive behaviour and he’s really bad at it, too.

Ignore him and let him get over what ever ‘crush’ he’s got on you. He’s confusing his feelings of self-doubt and self-loathing and throwing them onto you, because that’s the easy and immature thing to do. He’s making an idiot out of himself, but that’s what young men do when they think they are in love and scorned. You just need to take the high road here and give him the space to thrash around until he gets it out of his system. He’ll feel foolish enough about the whole thing, in time. You won’t have to add any fuel to the fire.

ucme's avatar

You should have punched him in the cock, for he’s a weedy little pissant & deserves a swollen penis for his impudence. Be gone, needledick!!

cazzie's avatar

( I fended off the occasional smarmy character. They act like you are the best thing in the world and are so full of compliments and wonderment at your accomplishments and every thought you express, but then as soon as you let them know that you aren’t going to make out with them, or become their ‘girlfriend’, suddenly, you are the wicked witch of the west; the most cruel thing that ever walked the earth. Hmmm…. the urge to whack them over the head with a Jane Austin novel is almost overwhelming.)

CWOTUS's avatar

You were not at all unreasonable. He’s trying to recruit your friends in his campaign to “win you back”. It’s not a cool tactic. Your actions will inform your friends (without you having to say or ‘explain’ anything) just how rude he’s being.

He needs to learn how to be a man and get over you, then settle down and simply be a friend. (Try to grant him the expectation that that is possible, and it might be so.)

Sunny2's avatar

What would have happened if you had just sat there silently to see what would come next? He’s angry. You aren’t. Saying something angry in return lowers you to his level. Keep to the high ground.

AshLeigh's avatar

@ucme…. Hahahahahahaha. Wow…. >.<
@cazzie… Agreed!
@Sunny2, I wasn’t angry. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to tolerate people talking about me, like I’m not even there. It’s not a show, for my entertainment. I know what he’s doing.

cockswain's avatar

@ucme said it better than I could.

EmptyNest's avatar

@ucme, yikes! hahahahaha

AnonymousWoman's avatar

I think your behaviour is understandable. It sounds like he was taking his hurt out on you and you stood up for yourself.

Sunny2's avatar

@AshLeigh No. of course you don’t have to put up with that. Any body who says you’re being a bitch when you’re not, isn’t worth wasting time on. Walk away for now.

JoeyOhSoClever's avatar

You guys have no clue who I am, or what I am about. Your heavily mislead about my personality.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

@JoeyOhSoClever If you are the guy she is talking about, you’re not doing yourself any favours by defending yourself like that. It only makes you look more guilty than if you’d said nothing at all…

That is, of course, unless you are a different Joey and making a joke because the guy shares the same name as you.

AshLeigh's avatar

We worked it out.
No fighting, please.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

I don’t see a fight taking place, but I’m glad you two worked it out.

AshLeigh's avatar

I know. I was just saying not to start fighting. :)

AnonymousWoman's avatar

Alright. That makes sense. I’m not planning to anyway. Don’t worry. I know that he has his side of the story. I was just giving him a hint to not defend himself like that, because of what it makes it look like to people who are on the outside looking in. We’ve talked through PMs and he knows my intentions now. From our conversation, I would say that he is quick to understand a misunderstanding when it is explained to him and pretty reasonable. You have a good friend, despite anything that was said about him up there that makes it look like he’s not that nice of a friend. ^_^

AshLeigh's avatar

No, he’s a great friend. I was just mad.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

Yes. He said it was just an angry rant and that we didn’t understand that. He also seemed to give you the benefit of the doubt. I understand.

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