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Irishchic2012's avatar

What am I supposed to do in this situation in school?

Asked by Irishchic2012 (48 points ) January 9th, 2012

I have asked questions relating to this in the past but I have spoken about this.. I am 15 and I have been sexually harassed by this boy in my class for a while and I know who he says the exact same things too. So here is the situation I am now in at the moment. , I spoke to my year head/dean first thing this morning but I didn’t realise that he was going on a residential trip 10 mins later and won’t be back till wednesday evening, but when I told him he was as nice as he could possibly be and he asked me to speak to the vice principal who deals with these things about this situation as he couldn’t do anything about it at that time because he was leaving so soon. He then asked me to go and speak to him on thursday morning first thing about how I got on with talking to the vice principal, which I thought was very kind and helpful. I then went to the vice principal with my mate I told him about the messages,and showed them his reply being “he likes you”.. I was so angry because I know who else he has said this too and he could tell I was annoyed with him and all he could say then was I’ll call him up.. Which I was happy enough with. as this boy is in my class I know if he was to be called up and did he?? Nope he didn’t. What am I supposed to say to my year head on thursday, now I feel even more ashamed that I have spoke to someone who preferred to sit typing on his computer than to resolve a situation of one of his students, I’m so embarrassed and feel so guilty.The messages were about meeting him in disabled toilets in school to kiss, meeting outside toilets to hug and touch my backside that it would turn me on, and there’s been more he’s asked me very inappropriate questions about my boobs also. what should I say to my year head? Any ideas?

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12 Answers

Judi's avatar

Tell the truth, that he did nothing.

GrayTax's avatar

Agreed, if your year head is as understanding as he seems from your description he should do something about your situation, even if the vice principal hasn’t. At the least he could ask if you’d like him to try to get the other student to stop. Harassment is a bad thing at any point in life; you don’t need to feel guilty or embarrassed about something that shouldn’t happen.

I hope the situation gets sorted to your satisfaction; good luck!

Bellatrix's avatar

Those comments are totally inappropriate. If a grown man were to say those things to a woman in the workplace they could be rightly accused of sexual harassment and could face the sack. Speak to your head teacher again. Take copies of the messages with you. Note down when the messages are being sent and how often. Whether he ‘likes’ you or not is totally irrelevant and especially if these messages are being sent during school hours, the school has a duty of care to respond to your request for help.

Have you told your parents this is going on? Is there a school counsellor? If this was happening to my child and the school neglected to do anything to try to resolve the problem, I would contact the Department of Education. Not sure what mechanisms are in place where you are though.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I agree with the others, tell him the truth. Before Thursday, I would also tell your parents what is going on and let them get involved. As @Bellatrix said, if this was happening to my child, I’d be sure that the school was handling and if they weren’t, I’d be handling it with the school board or the local police if I had to.

Is there anyone else at your school you feel comfortable talking too? You could try a school counselor, school nurse, or even your teacher. You have no reason to feel guilty about what this boy is doing to you. I know that’s easier said than done, but please try to talk to someone and keep trying until someone listens and does something.

Coloma's avatar

Yes, you should bring this to someones attention asap, your parents, and school administrators.
Bullies often back down when they are in fear of being exposed. You might want to simply tell this kid that he is being watched and you are documenting his actions. If he doesn’t stop, there will be a consequence, and then, make it happen.

I’d tell him he has had fair warning and it’s all up to him.
Knock it off or take your lumps.

CWOTUS's avatar

Can I say something – in general agreement with you – that I think may have contributed to this problem?

First of all, I do agree with you. This kind of “attention” when you don’t want it is harrassment, and is inappropriate and just plain wrong. It should obviously have been dealt with. You have every right to be angry.

But I think that might be part of the problem. Obviously, from reading your question it is clear that English is not your first language. I expect that your spoken language may be accented and also at times unclear. When you get upset it makes you that much harder to understand.

You may be well advised to bring your English-speaking (native English-speaking, that is) friend into your confidence and have her (or him) write a very clear, comprehensive and detailed complaint – in writing – to the Vice Principal. I’m guessing that he didn’t understand enough of your complaint; maybe he thought you were asking how to interpret the language? (I’m trying to give him the benefit of any doubt here; I should think that he should have interpreted your anger correctly to understand that you already knew what was being communicated and that you didn’t want it to continue.)

chyna's avatar

This is at least your second mention of this situation on here and that tells me you are really upset with what is going on. My heart goes out to you because you have tried to do what you are supposed to do to remedy the situation without any help. I do want you to understand that there is nothing for you to be embarrassed about or feel guilty about. You have done nothing wrong. If you can put up with this kids inappropriate behavior for 2 more days, then talk to your dean again when he gets back Thursday morning. Tell him exactly how the vice principal acted and tell the dean that is not acceptable to you, that you need something to be done to make this boy stop harassing you. If nothing is done then, it is time to talk to your parents and perhaps get the police involved. In the mean time, do not let yourself be caught out alone by him. Try to have someone with you at all times that he is near you. Good luck.

WestRiverrat's avatar

Go over your vice-principals head and talk to the principal. If that doesn’t work, offer to call the cops and the media yourself.

The vice-principal has a duty to investigate and take whatever actions are appropriate. If he doesn’t start an investigation himself he should pass on the complaint to someone who will.

Failure to do so would put the school in jepardy of being responsible for all the damages your attorney can find.

prioritymail's avatar

I agree with @CWOTUS. Obviously you are upset over harassment, but beyond that I have no idea what you are saying. Tell them the truth, but be clear about what you are saying.

Rock2's avatar

Speak to the teacher first, then go up the line. If you don’t get satisfaction, write a letter to the principal and copy the other school administrators. If that doesn’t work, find a woman police officer and tell her. If all that doesn’t work, get some of you biggest male friends to explain to him how much it hurts to get beat up.

raven860's avatar

Get your parents involved.

Seeing this question was a week old, can we get an update on the matter?

Irishchic2012's avatar

I went to my year head and he dealt with it.. thanks for all your answers :)

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