Social Question

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Do you think jerks know that they are jerks?

Asked by Imadethisupwithnoforethought (14067 points ) January 26th, 2012

Do they have a dim awareness that they are turning people off, or are most people too nice to clue them in on it?

Do they just assume that other individual people are the problem, and never become aware that most people dislike them?

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26 Answers

chyna's avatar

I’m not sure. But I will ask my oldest brother the next time I talk to him if he realizes he is a jerk, because he is in every conversation I have had with him in the past year.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Probably not.

DaphneT's avatar

Some have a dim awareness and wish that someone would treat them kindly and help them out. Some assume that others are the problem, and always blame someone or something else for why people don’t like them. Most people aren’t too nice to clue them in, most people are too offended to bother.

Symbeline's avatar

@DaphneT Cool answer. :)

AshLeigh's avatar

<———Jerk.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

^In my top 5 favorite jellies.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Sometimes I definitely know I’m a jerk.

saint's avatar

Speaking only for myself…most times when people have told me I was being a jerk, I knew they were correct.

chyna's avatar

^Then why be one?

Keep_on_running's avatar

Well, I’m sorry for being such a jerk, jerkoff…~

Keep_on_running's avatar

And that is just one other example of being a jerk. End of class everyone! Have a good day.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Nope,their overblown ego wont let them ,they think they are ultra cool.

Blackberry's avatar

This is a good question, as I don’t understand why some people either don’t know, or know, but take pride in it. I guess the question is how much the ratio is of aware and unaware. And this is relevant.

Fly's avatar

I think it really depends on the type of jerk.

There are the jerks that are just immature and are even purposely being jerks because they think it makes them look cool. Obviously, these people know.

Then there are the jerks who don’t mean to be jerky and are generally just joking and messing around, but will acknowledge that they are being jerks when pointed out and then stop.

And then there are the jerks. My dad, for example, acts like a huge jerk in social situations in which he is bored or uncomfortable (particularly at doctors’ offices, for some reason). He comes off as the big, pissed-off, bad cop, “I really don’t want to be here at all,” impatient, asshole kind of jerk. It is completely obvious to everyone around him, and many people have pointed it out to him before. Yet, he vehemently denies it and can’t understand how he could possibly come off that way; he is totally oblivious to his jerkiness. Based on my experiences, the people who are jerkiest are generally the ones who are completely clueless about it.

Blueroses's avatar

The few people I know who really are jerks, are aware of it and rather proud of it.

Of course they put a positive spin on their own behavior: “I speak my mind” or “I don’t put up with any shit.”

Typical jerk justification.

saint's avatar

@chyna
Because I really don’t have what it takes to make everybody happy all the time, and at the same time not be boring. The price I pay for being me. Probably what some of the above were describing.

Coloma's avatar

Some are, some aren’t, most just don’t give a flying f—k.
One of the biggest traits of certified jerks is they have zero ability to self reflect, in other words, they have the self awareness of a potato. lol

Sunny2's avatar

Some do and couldn’t care less; some don’t and can’t figure out what’s going on; others do and wish they could be different; others don’t and are happy being whatever they are. Whether or not someone is a “Jerk” is, like beauty, in the eye of the beholder. And don’t forget all the nerdy jerks who became extremely successful when they grew up.

Coloma's avatar

@Sunny2

I dunno…jerks that hurt others are not subject to perceptions IMO. Hurtful and unkind behavior is not subjective, it is what it is, and what it is, is wrong. ;-)

MollyMcGuire's avatar

I sure do.

Heavymetalhippie87's avatar

It’s harder to constantly be nice to everyone, and sometimes you really can’t fake it and it’s human nature to get angry or lash out sometimes. But from my own experience with jerks who are consistently jerks is that they believe they have to be tough and assholes to people to get by in life, all the jerks I know believe they are heaven sent to teach us what they “know” to be right, they believe that they can do no wrong.

Sunny2's avatar

@Coloma I agree with you, and the ones that are aware they are hurting people are the worst jerks of all. Maybe we should categorize all the different kinds of jerks there are.

Coloma's avatar

@Sunny2 At the top of my jerk pile are the sneaky, passive aggressive manipulative types.
It is just mind blowing how some people can be so devious with a smile on their face, and their “who me?” innocent act, drives me nuts! They are so subtle, yet obvious, but you can’t prove anything. Gah! tearing hair out! haha

nromstadt's avatar

Just had this conversation yesterday. Obnoxious, nasty women sitting at the back of the bus… talking very loudly, using nasty language (with children around), and snapping/insulting anyone that even glanced back at them. I wonder if they are always so terrible, or just in their group in this situation. They kept talking about “nasty b*tches” they encounter… and I wonder if they know that they are also being that way :)

Paradox25's avatar

It depends on the types of people that one is around. There have been quite a few situations where I’ve seen very decent people who were disliked by most others simply because they didn’t go with the flow or didn’t ‘get it’. There were some people who were considered ‘nice’ by most others but yet I personally had my most difficult hardships in life because of them causing massive amounts of trouble for me. It is possible that over time a jerk can be manufactured from an originally decent person due to persistent hardships with others, as a defense mechanism.

I think the term ‘jerk’ is a more relative term than not most of the time. I would say that the people who really are jerks and actually enjoy tormenting others probably do realize that they’re jerks, and likely are even proud of being classified as that.

Coloma's avatar

Jerks are”

Loud mouthed
Liars
manipulators
attention whores
drama kings/queens
gossipers
petty
can dish it out but can’t take it
scheming, conniving and deceitful
passive aggressive and sneaky
blamers, always someone elses fault
backstabbers
two faced
users
hypersensitive and paranoid, always reading into stuff that isn’t there, making stuff up

On a REGULAR basis, not a one time bad moment.

Did I leave anything out? lol

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