Social Question

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Have you ever done something, even though you knew it was going to hurt you?

Asked by WillWorkForChocolate (22648 points ) January 28th, 2012

By “hurt”, you can refer to either emotional hurt or physical hurt.

I visited a dear friend of mine tonight because she wanted me to see her newborn. I knew going into it, that it was going to destroy me since I so desperately want another baby but can’t have one. I went anyway, to make her happy. And I’m pretty friggin’ wrecked now.

Do you ever do things that you know will hurt you, but you do them anyway?

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35 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Yeah, I know exactly how you feel. I get to be “The Rock” in my family.Everybody leans on me. It’s a bitch. But I do it because it helps them, but it hurts. You gave someone joy, even though it hurt. You’re an angel.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Ha, you know I’m no angel. I’m a weenie though; I cried all the way home.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate I will send you pictures of my kids, just so you can see my work. If your husband won’t help, I will be here for you

CaptainHarley's avatar

When I joined the Army, I figured that I would get hurt somehow, and I was, but in ways that had little to do with weapons! Sigh!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate Ha you’re not always an angel. Tonight you were. You have a huge heart.

Akua's avatar

Yup. I tried to rekindle a relationship with my extended family. I thought I could forgive the pain they caused me in the past and they just kept begging me to come over, so I did. I knew that somehow I would leave them feeling bad. it was a Big mistake. Turns out I’m not ready to forgive them and they aren’t ready to own up to what they did to me. Now I don’t do anything that causes me that kind of pain. It’s not healthy.

DaphneT's avatar

Yes. I attend family events of many types that invariably end up hurting, but duty demands that I appear. I have to suffer through the oh, that’s right you don’t have children, the oh that’s right you’re not married, the oh, you just work in retail you don’t know anything important. The list could go on. I console myself with reminders that if nothing else, then duty will get me through. We have to do things we don’t want to do, it’s supposed to build character. I’m still working on that one…

Bellatrix's avatar

Invited my family to my wedding. I knew they wouldn’t come… they didn’t surprise me but they did hurt me. It was the right thing to do though.

Told my son he had to move out. Killed me inside, but it was the right thing to do for him in the long term.

Sorry you were hurt @WillWorkForChocolate but you are an angel for going and your friend would have valued you being there so much.

Akua's avatar

@DaphneT Being someone’s emotional punching bag isn’t building character. We have a duty to ourselves first and foremost because if we are not well, we can’t be of much use to the people who really need us. They don’t deserve you sweetie.

AshLeigh's avatar

For the physical pain aspect of this question:
I have done many things that I knew would hurt.
I am a former cutter. That hurt like hell.
I say things that I know will cause someone to punch me. It’s worth it!

For the emotion aspect of this question:
I talk to the first guy I ever loved all the time. It still tears my heart apart when I remember him. All the time, and the promises we made. Gone to waste…
I still go back to the place where I fell in love. Over, and over, every summer.
Once a year I go back to that church, where I had my first kiss. And I just sit there, remembering. In a sad way, it’s nice to be there again. I’m not the same girl I was, but I do miss the naivety of being so inexperienced in the throws of young love.
I pushed someone out of my life, even though I needed them. Even though I knew I would miss him for the rest of my life. Except Alaska wasn’t good for him, and he loves her now. I knew it was for the best.. :)
I sound like a masochist. XD

YARNLADY's avatar

Having a baby
Going to the dentist
Getting a blood test
Watching movies with dead people in them (stars who are now deceased)

Pandora's avatar

Yeah, when my daughter was 4 and in ICU with a severe asthma attack. It killed me to go and see her so defenseless and it killed me to leave her side. I would put a brave face on around her and then fall to pieces when I would be out of site. It would be living hell to hold her and know that all I could do was pray, wait and sing to her.
Just know that your friend did this because she wants to share her with you. I’m sure she knows how you feel and simply wants you to know there are many children worthy of your love. A new mom can always go two ways. Either cut you out or ask you to join her family because you are family. I would bet it was the second one.

Judi's avatar

When I was a teenager I made a conscious decision to do some pretty self destructive things. I knew they would take me down a dark path. I really don’t know why I chose that path. There was a lot of self loathing going on.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

All I’ve ever done is things that I knew would send me spiralling downwards. Despite warnings and family support I went ahead and they have affected me in different ways for life. It goes back to those self-esteem issue AGAIN.

Nullo's avatar

Every day. In the course of earning money, I’ll stick my nitrile-wrapped hands into various hot liquids. (Clearing oven drains means hot oil-and-water, operating the soaker means hot soapy water. In both cases, ‘hot’ works out to about 180 degrees.)

I am fond of shooting rifles, a hobby that often involves getting smacked in the shoulder with a bit of explosively propelled wood.

harple's avatar

I give blood where I can (I hate needles!)

Last year I took someone to the airport knowing it was for the last time. I can’t describe the heartbreak.

A couple of nights ago I watched Seven Pounds (link contains spoilers). I didn’t know before hand, but within the first few minutes I realised that this film, particularly at this time of year for me, was going to tear me apart. It did. (Sometimes it’s good to let it all out though, right?!?)

augustlan's avatar

I’m glad you went, @WillWorkForChocolate, but sorry that it hurts. {hugs}

When my ex-husband and I separated (mutual decision) it hurt, but what hurt far worse was deciding that our kids would be better off living with him (also a mutual decision). I know it was (and still is) the right choice for them, but it was incredibly painful.

Leanne1986's avatar

I allowed myself to get involved with someone (romantically speaking) knowing full well that the chances were high that I would get hurt. The reason I took that chance was because I had a glimmer of hope that it would work out better than I expected. I did get hurt and it took me a long time to deal with the pain (It still causes me pain 6 years down the line when I remember it) but I don’t regret the choice I made or the experience for a minute.

FutureMemory's avatar

Got a tattoo.

Allowed myself to fall for someone that was already married.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Oh, @WillWorkForChocolate , I know all the words to the song, and I feel for you, Sweetie!
Last spring I went to spend time with my cousin, who was one of by dearest friends and most loved family members, knowing it was for the last time. A few weeks later, I went to spend time with his widow. I’m still not sure how I stayed functioning at that time.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Yes. There was a guy I’d become absolutely enamored of online but when we finally met up, not much seemed like a good fit. Thing is, I knew a girl that I thought would be perfect for him and though I still was emotionally geared up, I set out to get them interacting more. They are a great couple til this day but I did have some crying jags of my own.

Keep_on_running's avatar

Has anyone said exercise yet? :P

linguaphile's avatar

I got involved with someone who had hurt me several times before—thinking, “Maybe this time will be different.” Pshaw. If this guy comes around again, he’s getting run off with a pitchfork.

I work in a paranoid and toxic workplace, so everything I do at work comes with a risk of getting hurt or attacked. The upside—I’m not the insecure, worried people-pleaser that started working there several years ago. Having to develop a crust did me some favors.

For me, bad experiences are opportunities to learn—unwelcome, yes, but opportunities nonetheless.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Thanks for all the stories, guys, they’re great!

Thanks for all the sympathy, too. =0)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate Here’s one for you. I had an uncle, who went about 250 pounds and he was trying to load his motorcycle into our pickup. The motorcycle went about 500 pounds. He didn’t make it all the way up onto the truck and started to fall. I was 13 or 14, about 5’6” and 110 pounds, I tried to catch him. It worked ok.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@MilkyWay Of course I got smeared. But it gave him a chance to get his leg down and get away from the bike.I’ve never been charged with being too bright.

MilkyWay's avatar

I just can’t stop imagining it, and then grinning xD

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@MilkyWay Grinning? I could have been killed. You do the math. :)

MilkyWay's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I’m glad you didn’t though… cos now I can laugh :P

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@MilkyWay It is funny now. Me against that much weight. We both walked away so it was ok.

MilkyWay's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Aw, I’m sorry. I was being a bit mean. But I really am very glad you didn’t get squished.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@MilkyWay No, you’re fine. I’d always rather laugh. Even at my own expense. :)

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