What do you do when a poster takes everything you say the wrong way?

Any response to clearly antagonistic behavior is a reward for them. You are validating that their opinion matters somehow. Silence is the most upsetting response you can provide.

I invite you to look through threads here, and on these other sites you visit. When someone is being particularly antagonistic, and the attacked person fails to respond, the attacker will sometimes post two or three times in a row, not wanting to let it go. As if they are shouting like a crazy person at someone who has already left the room.

Welcome to crazy-town. It happens, and it’s not pretty when it does (from a moderator perspective). In my experience, if one or two PMs trying to clarify/apologize don’t do the trick, nothing will. At that point, it’s best to ignore the person altogether, if you can.

If our mods notice a person like that, we try to calm them down via Mod PMs, but that usually doesn’t work either, in the long run. Eventually, they end up banned because they are so volatile that they attack other people fairly often.

There’s one poster that I can not even have 2 words coherent words with. I just avoid any and all conversations with him/her but he/she seems to connect with others okay. I respect their connection and recognize we have absolutely none.

I just ignore her them.~

Usually I state my case once and then let it ride. I figure only a fool argues with a fool. Everyone else knows the other person is flame bait and you did nothing wrong. Just let it go.
Here, say it with me now:
“Only a fool argues with a fool.”
You’re no fool.

Psst, I like your outfit. ;-)

Thanks for that. I got some perspective. In my PM box was somewhat of an explanation. When I responded to him, I mentioned that the change he wished for already existed and could be found on another site. He was recently banned from that site and he can’t access the modifications on that board. He most likely saw my post as threatening because I was “rubbing it in his face” about being banned from the other site. But of course, I had no clue that he was banned from that site, so I kept mentioning it to him trying to be helpful. Every time I mentioned it, he thought I was kicking it up a notch and taunting him.

He’s also on his final warning on the site we were both on, so he’s a bit on edge.

You can dance around volatile people all you want and I have done so with some, but it is hard to know what is going to set them off. Unless it is someone I have significant feelings for, I will stop engaging with them after an explanation doesn’t work.

Usually I just wish they take their medications and re-read my post. I will ignore them if I am not familiar with them or if someone else already asked them to calm down. If its someone I like then I will pm them and try to clarify.

When that happens, I usually just rip it off the wall and throw it away.

@WillWorkForChocolate Yeah, an initial thought I had was about posters being able to talk too.

If I know them, I will clarify via PM.

If I don’t know them, I might PM them to clarify and if they’re new, I’ll welcome them.

If the person seems hellbent on taking a discussion one way, I will ignore. I may call them out on their position prior to ignoring, though.

If the person proves over & over again to take discussions in one particular direction, I will avoid as best as I can.

If a person is not responding reasonably, I might give it a try or two, but after than, I’ll leave off replying to them. It’s not worth it. It’s not my purpose in life to explain myself to them.

Sometimes, on the other hand, if they have been mean to me, I might continue to push their buttons lightly—just enough to get them to overreact, but not enough to actually be mean to them. But that’s if they get me angry. Normally, I try not to let people goad me into a response, even if it is a very light response.

In some cases, I will just marshal all my arguments and make a strong a public case as I can that they are off the wall and not making any sense. I am careful to avoid ad hominem attacks and just to use reasonable arguments, although I state them in strong terms.

It all depends on my feelings and the situation, really.

Don’t feed the trolls, brah.

Put him in a big slingshot and hurl him into the sun.

Or at least alert the mods to his abuse of you and let him get banned from that site, too.

It sounds like the other guy has paranoia-related mental health issues. In such a case, where it’s impossible for anything you say to NOT be percieved as a threat, I would just ignore him. If the forum has tools to block him, use them. Maybe alert the mods to what he’s doing, although if the forum’s a good one they’ve probably noticed already.

I’ve been on forums where occasional trolls have been so funny I’ve “played” with them on purpose, but that’s a rare occurrence and a situation like this one wouldn’t be one of those.

Yeah, I figured out he was a total loon and just ignored him once he threatened to get me banned.

I mentioned earlier that the owner of the site I kept recommending to him sent me a PM and told me the guy was banned from his site and mentioned he heard a rumor he was on his fimal warning o the site we were posting on.

I also found out from looking at some other threads that he’s only 12 years old. I know there are some 12 year olds around who are wise beyond their years, but there are many who act.. like 12 year olds. Maybe when he gets older he’ll be mortified thinking about his posts… who knows? Who cares?

So now I see what’s up and I just clear him a path.

Laugh long & loud, then quietly purr in a smug self satisfied manner befitting of such an occasion.

On Fluther I click the stop following button and ignore them.

I consider my work done.

this post is cleansed . . .

Send them a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates.

Pajama people looking for a way to speak up. Not exactly a good way to use their indoor voices, is it? Ignore it, and move on. The sooner you realize the not everyone will like you, the sooner you’ll realize that there are some who live their lives like their heads are going to explode very soon. Who knows – with all that hot air…?