Social Question

ohmyword's avatar

Have you ever had to break up with someone you weren't even actually dating?

Asked by ohmyword (608 points ) July 10th, 2012

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12 Answers

digitalimpression's avatar

In a way, yes. I dated a girl in high school as a favor to a friend. I had no real interest in her. After a couple months I couldn’t fake it anymore and I had to tell her what was going on. Bad juju.

augustlan's avatar

A girl who latched on to me in middle school. I didn’t particularly want to be her friend, but she thought we were best buddies. I wasn’t very nice about it, which is something I regret.

ETpro's avatar

My second wife, who left me for another man, then kept calling me after I finally remarried.

Cruiser's avatar

Yes I have. lol!

janbb's avatar

I might have to at some point and it will be a heartbreaker if it happens.

picante's avatar

I’ve been on the other side of the equation—I was “dumped” by someone whom I wasn’t dating, and it was the worst kind of juju for me. Heartbreaking indeed.

Pandora's avatar

Yes, when I was 14. I was simply being nice to this one boy that all the other boys picked on because he was smart and short and a year younger than the rest of us. He started to act as if he was my boyfriend and started to talk to my friends as if he was my boyfriend. I thought it cute at first and then it felt like he was stalking me. I tried explaining that we were only friends and he would say he understood and go back to the same behavior of being possessive. So one day after church he started to yelling at me because I was speaking with my crush and my pals thought it amusing to point out how I was flirting right in front of him. He grabbed my arm as he was yelling telling me that he can’t believe I was being such a slut and I told him that I would beat him to a pulp if he ever came near me again and that I was only being nice to him because I felt sorry for him, but that we were done as friends and that we were never boyfriend or girlfriend. It was something he invented in his pathetic little dreams. I also added that he was starting to make me feel creeped out whenever he looked at me or was near but he couldn’t catch a hint.. He looked crushed. I felt bad for a second but mostly because I yelled it in front of everyone that just got out of church.
Not to mention, the guy I did like, looked at me like the devil just walked out of church. Funny now. Not so funny then.

tups's avatar

Yep. Although I didn’t actually break up, I just said I was confused and I think he understood it.

Paradox25's avatar

No, and this was true even in the few brief relationships that I’ve been involved with. Faded away was the more accurate term to use in my cases. People who get their rocks off by claiming that they’re the ones who broke it off make me a little wary of their intentions, to say the least.

Kardamom's avatar

Yes, a man that had a mad crush on me for several years (he was quite a bit older than me and I was only 19 or 20 and he was about 32), even though I had an actual boyfriend (same age as me) for most of that time. I liked him a lot, but I had absolutely no romantic feelings for him whatsoever. I even tried to help him find a girlfriend that would be more suitable than me.

It got to a point that we had to have a little talk but he pushed it into an ugly confrontation. He apparently had been in love with me for years (I had always hoped it was just a puppy love kind of crush). After the talk he never spoke to me again. I was sad that the actual friendship was over, but relieved that he stopped pressuring me into a romantic relationship with him.

Un-requited love is an ugly business. I’ve been on both sides of it and it’s just awful. : (

Kardamom's avatar

^^ I forgot to add, his last statement to me was, “You wasted my time.” Then I replied, “No, you wasted your own time.”

bookish1's avatar

Well, I am just now finding myself in this position! A matter of people telling themselves different stories.

The guy I had been seeing for two months at the beginning of the summer, in my understanding, broke up with me before I left for France. That was very clear in my mind. He said he wanted me to be able to live my life, even said he wanted me to be able to find someone who could love me like him but who was younger, and he was very busy at the time and couldn’t “be there for me” like he had been previously. It was very sweet, honestly. I thought it went well, it was amicable and we were resolved to remain friends. We even spent some good platonic time together before I left.

I’m glad I thought he was breaking up with me, because I had some life-changing experiences in France that I would not have had otherwise, because I am not a cheater…

Anyway, this guy stateside, he thought he was just initiating a break, (never said any such thing except in his own mind) and since I’ve come back, he’s been acting like nothing has changed, calling me pet names, wanting to touch me, etc., which is just sort of making me cringe because I have no romantic feelings for him anymore although I still regard him as a dear friend. He explained to me the other day that he had wanted to ‘back off a bit’ because he was scared of becoming too attached (and he never said this at the time)... But you can’t just put relationships on pause! So, I had to break up with him again this past week when he nonchalantly mentioned how I should spend the night with him >_> I really want to remain friends with him but I’m kind of scared to hang out with him now.

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