Social Question

jordym84's avatar

Can you share some funny jokes?

Asked by jordym84 (4737 points ) August 2nd, 2012

One of my really good friends is currently going through a rough time (last week she was forced to break up with the love of her life because his parents don’t approve due to cultural differences and she’s torn apart, and this week she developed an ear infection and is in a lot of pain) and I would like to cheer her up by texting her funny jokes throughout the day. I Googled “funny jokes” but, frankly, most of the ones I came across are old and tired and not so funny. I’d prefer short jokes that I could text her, but longer ones are more than welcome (I’ll email them).

She’s not easily offended, so anything goes, as long as it’s really funny.

Thank you!!! :)

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19 Answers

zensky's avatar

What’s the most important thing in humor timing.

Adagio's avatar

I’m sure your intentions are good @jordym84 but if I was your friend and feeling totally miserable I wouldn’t want to receive funny jokes texted to me all day, I would appreciate a listening ear though.

jordym84's avatar

@Adagio What kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t listen to her? She knows she can talk to me about it any time and she does and that I’ll always be there when she needs to vent, but she’s not the moping kind and really appreciates it when I make her laugh. Thanks for the concern, though.

Supacase's avatar

From my daughter:
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogy in it.
Why did the pencil cross the road? To get to Pennsylvania.

Supacase's avatar

She didn’t ask whether or not it is a good idea. She asked for jokes. I’d guess @jordym84 knows what her friend would appreciate more than any of us.

jordym84's avatar

Thank you @Supacase :) :) :)

Adagio's avatar

@jordym84 Well, in that caseā€¦ Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. : ^)

jordym84's avatar

@Adagio Oh lordy!!! hahahaha

Symbeline's avatar

So this guy walks into a bar, and he goes…ow man, that hurt.

Coloma's avatar

What did Jeffrey Dahmer sing on the way to his refrigerator?
My baloney has a first name…

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
Most of the time you get an onion with floppy ears, but…every once in a while you get a piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye.

What do muslim women wear to the beach?
A burkini

Supacase's avatar

Love the onion one @Coloma!

ucme's avatar

Mitt Romney for president.

Harold's avatar

A man goes into a bar with a rolled up piece of bitumen under his arm. He says “I’ll have a beer please, and one for the road….”

zensky's avatar

@ucme Be careful what you wish for…~

ucme's avatar

@zensky Oh I think it would be hilarious if he were president, like watching team america in real life.

zensky's avatar

Didn’t they just have two terms of W.?

ucme's avatar

That was more like Planet of the Apes.

Mr_Paradox's avatar

Great conversation starter I stole from someone here on Fluther: “Okay, I hid the body. Now what?”

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