Now that you're in the witness protection program you get to pick your new name. What is it?

John Doe- You do not see me, you do not know me, I am just your average nobody….

Jeremy Bentham

George W Bush….. Wait, was the question who we wanted to enter the witness protection program?

McLuvin

Knuckles McElroy

I still chuckle when I hear the name “Brock Landers” (anyone recognize the reference?)...my friend also had a pretty funny pseudonym-Houston Ruddy.

They just sound so 80’s soap opera to me…

Ever since I wrote a paper on his classical music, I ALWAYS wanted to have Shostakovich as my last name. that name is SUPER cool. I had decided people could call me “Shosta” for short. (Wow i really hope that doesn’t mean anything bad in russian). As for a first name, I could go with “Sydney” just because it is my alias, so I would be Sydney Shostakovich. I don’t do middle names. i thought about “Bella” as a first name because i like the name, but then my initials would be B.S.

@PnL-that has a nice ring to it…kind of like Marilyn Manson.

wasn’t Brock landers in boogie nights?

Thank you sndfreQ, now if only i had the guts to make it official :D

@playthebanjo: Bingo!

@PnL: I meant it in the best possible light-Marilyn Manson is a rock star!

i feel guilty taking up all this space (and so i whisper) on this question, but i know you did mean it as a compliment!

@ezraglenn Excellent answer!

Johnny Depp.

Ok. Now for my real answer. Osama Bin Laden. I mean, if the FBI, CIA, NSA, and DoD can’t find OBL, I don’t think a lowly, Tony Soprano-wannabe is going to find me with that name either.

MAX POWER!

AstroChuck!!!

I wanna steal from Arrested Development.

Bob Loblaw

Staff Sgt Max Fightmaster.

Most badass name ever according to a http://cracked.com list.

It just has a ring to it.

The Doctor.

bella bathin

brownlemur- Doctor Who?

just the Doctor (yes).

Then I get to be The Master.

And I’ll be The Controller.

I’m not aware of that Timelord.

Smokey Hollyhock. I will be a porn star in my new life.

@Sueanne: me too haha (see above)

John Connor, maybe? I like a good chase.

@Sueanne_Tremendous: If my life long dream of becoming a porn star ever came (pun absolutely intended) true, I shall call myself Richard Shaft.

@uno: ...

@Eambos: I get that alot. :-P

Charlie Hustle

I change mine… Know want it as David hassle hoff…

I would love to see a flick starring Richard Shaft and Smokey Hollyhock. Perhaps Max Power could direct it.
Yes. I can see it: “Smokey Hollyhock and Richard Shaft in Violation of Rebecca – A Max Power film.”

Oh, it is so on! My stage persona will need a mustache, mullet and a slightly hairy back. Better start shaving.

And you need one more thing.

I met a truck driver the other day whose name was Rusty Bolt. That’s going to be my name when I join the Nitwits Protection Program. I think I’ll get a job as a mechanic.