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SadieMartinPaul's avatar

How do you know when to fight and when to back away?

Asked by SadieMartinPaul (8670 points ) November 24th, 2012

Some of the best advice I’ve ever received is:

1. Pick your battles
2. Not every fight is worth fighting

How do you decide when to turn and walk away from a confrontation, offense, or other problem? Sometimes, things that really shouldn’t matter are very disturbing and affect me deeply, while there are more serious issues that, even though they’re significant, I can easily shrug off.

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12 Answers

RareDenver's avatar

There is nearly nothing worth hitting or getting hit over. I wish I had realised this when I was younger.

JenniferP's avatar

It is best not to fight at all if you can avoid it. It is best to discuss the situation and work things out. If someone is threatening you, you have a right to defend yourself. You also have a right to take issue with a person for certain behaviors but not let it turn into a fight.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

I should clarify that I wasn’t asking about incidents of a physical nature. I abhor violence and have never hit anyone.

I’m referring to a verbal altercation, a lawsuit, a workplace grievance—any situation that causes a person either to pursue the matter or to let go.

JenniferP's avatar

I would always try to work it out with the individual first. Try to talk to them and as a last resort report them.

jrpowell's avatar

A good nights sleep is always helpful. 90% of the time I am not mad and know how to respond after a solid sleep.

The other 10% of the time I call my lawyer.

Paradox25's avatar

I guess that this is one of those things that can only be answered through our own intuition and thoughts, not through spoken/written words. My answer to this is that I’ll just know when that situation and time comes, not because I don’t want to be perceived as a wimp in the eyes of my peers.

Dsg's avatar

My personal feeling is I hate confrontation. I avoid it if, possible. If it can’t be avoided I always find it easier for me to write down what I want to say. Then, I revamp the letter again and again, until it is what I want to say. I usually take a day to think about things and then approach the person. I don’t believe in physical violence at all. I don’t think its necessary. Violence and unkind words just makes matters worse. I also find that if I can accept whatever was said or done, its easier for me to let it go and sometimes it doesn’t even have to be approached.

philosopher's avatar

When something involves the welfare of my autistic son I will fight until I win or; get most of what is appropriate and he needs. I rarely have lost. After awhile smart people No better than to cross me. I also fight for the welfare of my family and some friends. I dislike fighting but I am strong and I will not be manipulated. I have reached a point in life in which I do not wish to be perceived as nice. Too many wealthy successful people see kind people as ignorant, naive and easy to manipulate. These type people regret taking me on.
I will not debate over nonsense or with those who simply enjoy fighting. I simply laugh at those boring people. I have better things to work on.

majorrich's avatar

Usually best to get in the first strike. It allows you to follow up and terminate the threat. I avoid violence when I can, but if it is unavoidable, strike with all the ferocity and violence possible in order to make a clean escape. Note that in a street encounter, it is a fight to escape, NEVER to the death.

majorrich's avatar

I meant Neutralize the threat. English is a tricky language

Dsg's avatar

@philosopher Good for you! We have to stick up for our children! That’s why family is so important! We stick together no matter what.

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