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Mariah's avatar

Jellies in relationships: how do you handle her time of the month [NSFW]?

Asked by Mariah (19226 points ) December 19th, 2012

I’m curious to hear how other couples handle their sex lives during periods. I’m not a huge fan of unreciprocated acts, but he gets pretty anxious if I make him wait around for a week every month, haha. Still not 100% sure how to handle it. What have you done?

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21 Answers

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

I have historically avoided sexual activity around this time of the month. I like to bring a woman to orgasm first prior to insertion, and I think my partners know this and have avoided making advances during this period because they are embarrassed by the whole thing. I have learned recently that a lot of women have a high libidio during this period so I am trying to figure a balance.

JLeslie's avatar

My first sexual relationship, which was a long term one, we had sex during my period. Usually not the first day because I was crampy. My period lasted 7 days, so waiting a full week every month would have seemed like a very long time back when I was a teen. I did not have a very heavy flow though. I would typically wear tampons, so I could take out a tampon and be basically bloodless for an hour or more. You just have to make sure you get lubricated either naturally or artificially before having sex, because the tampon will cause you to be dry right after removing it.

The last few days of my period I don’t have to worry about bleeding for 3 or 4 hours after removing a tampon.

In relationships after that I didn’t have as much sex and it wasn’t as much of a big deal. I still had sex sometimes during my period though.

Unbroken's avatar

In the past I am usually at my sexual peak right before. So that helps.

Also I happen to get a modicum of pleasure from giving bjs but he makes it up to me at some later time.. well he will go down on me and on occassion with out 69 or taking turns. I never kept score.

Sometimes I let him know and (for tested monogamous couple only) we sometimes arrange water fun.. or I have used old towels in the past I am not super comfortable with the act. There are also cups, but depending on how big your guy is that can be a bad idea. Just a quickie and I usually eat light salad little blood builders if I have a heads up or an inkling. This reflects on my flow amazingly.

Sometimes I just use that time to tease build tension. Or I also like to watch him masturbate. Especially if I am crampy. I usually assist in some way. But if I want to have minimal involvement I make it a game telling him exactly where I will stop in my efforts. Sometimes its just dirty talk, other times I might play with my nipples and boobs posing for him. Any way you get the idea. Use the imagination.

I always reserve the right to decline.

jrpowell's avatar

The shower.

bookish1's avatar

You just, you know, have sex if the menstruating person in question feels like it.

augustlan's avatar

Towels on the bed, proceed as usual. If you want to, I mean.

jca's avatar

A little messy but where there’s a will, there’s a way.

OpryLeigh's avatar

My boyfriend and I just get on with it. I am always horny during my period so I couldn’t go without it during that time let alone him!! Sometimes we will put a sheet or towel on the bed so that we don’t make a mess on the linen or we will do it in the shower. I am very lucky that I do not suffer too much during my period, I have minimal discomfort and I am never very heavy, they only last abut 4 days. I could understand how women who are in pain during this time would not want to have sex though.

bookish1's avatar

orgasms really help with cramps FWIW

filmfann's avatar

My wife enjoyed sex when she had her time, but it grossed me out.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I don’t have sex during my period. Going a week without sex isn’t a big deal for us. I might give him a blow job or something, as I don’t feel that I need to match orgasms with him, but he’s fine to wait the week if not.

For the past 5 months I’ve been having health issues that keep me from having sex most days, so he’s happy to get it just when I’m able. Though he does often joke that my mouth is going to be really tired. :)

rojo's avatar

At this point in our lives, we are beyond the physical conditions of menstruation.
Funny though, even after several years, there are times when I would swear that the emotional aspect still raises its’ somewhat less than pleasant head.

Seek's avatar

I have no desire to be anywhere close to another human being while my uterus performs its monthly haemorrhage. Fortunately, I have a short cycle.

wundayatta's avatar

None of the women I was with was into sex that much. It was quite common to go for a week or more without sex. I thought all women were like this since I’ve never been with a woman where we had sex more than a couple of times a week. That was for very short time periods.

So if we didn’t have sex during her period, that was the same as not having sex during other times. It just was never an issue.

Now you report that he gets anxious. I say, too bad. You don’t have to keep a guy from being anxious all the time in order to hold onto him. You do what you want. You don’t owe him sex whenever he wants it. Of if you do, then damn it! I’ve been doing it wrong for thirty some odd years. But it’s just not in me to demand sex. If my partner doesn’t want it, then I don’t want it from her (which is not to say I wouldn’t want it from someone who did want it).

I wonder what would have happened if I’d found a pliable woman who would have given me sex whenever I wanted it. Maybe I wouldn’t be crazy? No way to know. But I doubt it. I think men should learn to deal with it if their partner doesn’t want sex at the time. Take no for an answer.

Mariah's avatar

Thanks, all. He’s squicked out by the blood so that option isn’t really on the table.

@wundayatta I know I’m not obligated or anything, I don’t like watching him squirm either though, haha.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Mariah That’s what his right hand is for! (Or left, if he’s a southpaw.)

How about some mouth and/or hand action for him and some grindage for you? A little dry hump might get ya there without the bloody mess. Works for me, and he likes if I’m that into it. Gets him going. Horny Teenager style!

Shippy's avatar

All the men I have known are good “soldiers” (Quoted by GD RIP)

El_Cadejo's avatar

Blowjob week :)

rojo's avatar

@livelaughlove21 Or…...he could have a three-way and use both hands.

Shippy's avatar

Well you know sea sponges can be used during this time. Just saying.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

We either put a towel on the bed, or get in the shower.

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