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wundayatta's avatar

Have you been able to use your anger to help you?

Asked by wundayatta (58349 points ) December 27th, 2012

Anger is a tricky emotion to work with. You can’t really control it. It has a lot of power, but it is not well organized or focused. So it often destroys as much as it helps.

Have you ever been able to gain control over your anger and use it to achieve a goal? What happened? Do you think you could have achieved your goal any other way? Are you glad you did what you did, in retrospect?

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13 Answers

El_Cadejo's avatar

“I can feel your anger… it gives you focus, it makes you stronger!”

Shippy's avatar

I wish I could, I can’t. I either blow up or I go very quiet and withdraw since I know I am about to blow up. Which makes people think I have decided not to debate whichever issue.

I do tend to withdraw more now, I think about it. Then when I am calm I put my point across. So in that way, the anger did make me come up with an argument worth hearing. Not always though. Rage and anger was just part of my family life. But I believe I was born that way. Apparently I hit some kid on the head with a brick when I was three. But I was oh so sweet in between.

Coloma's avatar

Hell yes!
I am not an angry person, purged my repressed anger years ago, but man….nothing like righteous anger to give oneself a kick in the ass and maybe someone else too. lol
I have verbally filleted a few in my life and while I have a reputation for being ultra easy going and humorous you don’t ever want to be the recipient of my amazingly astute roasting moments. You will be left charred and rendered to the consistency of jerked beef.

I have a tongue like a blow torch. haha

burntbonez's avatar

@Coloma Do you take a care to monitor the other person when you are angry to see if you might be inspiring a violent response? Or do you not worry about that?

I rarely get angry. It seems to me it is not a very effective tool. When people get angry with me, I tend to get scared and leave. Then I cut off communication with that person. It depends on the level of anger, of course. I’m talking about all out anger that is uncontrolled and seems to be out of perspective with the issue at hand.

Anyway, I don’t want people to think I’m out of control. I don’t think that would be good for the future of the relationship. So I only get that angry when I don’t care if there is a future relationship.

Coloma's avatar

@burntbonez I am not a yeller or a screamer, no abusive behaviors, but, on the rare occasions I feel the need to confront someone on their stuff, I am diplomatic but very assertive.
I am a “let’s solve this problem asap” type and do not do silent treatments, passive aggressive bullshit, or manipulation. Employ any of those tactics and I will drop you without a backwards glance.
I consider myself to be a great communicator but sadly, few others are.

I am also not a thin skinned and insecure type and can handle healthy confrontation without dissolving in an emotional puddle. Few women are able to do this and I am proud of my ability to confront issues without it turning into an emotional slop fest.
I’ve dumped female friends for this reason. I cannot stand overly emotional females. Gah!

KNOWITALL's avatar

I have some anger issues with my mother and with my bio-father. I used my anger to propel myself forward into the business world and be successful (what to me is success anyway.)

I like to think that I turned a hurt little girl into a tough business person in control of her life instead of letting my anger bring me down. Of course life taught me otherwise but I’m okay with it now and have forgiven both parents.

Sunny2's avatar

I wait until my anger tones down so I can address the reasons(s) why I am angry and confront the reason(s). The I can confront the issues rationally. Reacting quickly and loudly is just vomiting. It may make you feel better, but at someone else’s expense. Plus, you have to clean up your own mess and it can be very messy sometimes.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh yeah. When I’m angry my kids/students know I mean business. You can’t swat kids in a public school, so I learned to use my anger very efficiently.

Ayesha's avatar

I haven’t. But I’m trying very hard.

JenniferP's avatar

I would say that it often works for me. I am good at demanding my rights. Of course, I need to temper that with a humble attitude because I don’t want to be pushy and put myself above other people. But I am not a pushover.

woodcutter's avatar

I finally got pissed enough to warn a local TV advertiser that their ads were the LOUDEST thing on the air and would notify the FCC about it. I really hate when the TV suddenly gets loud as shit and forces me to scramble for the remote to turn it down only to need to go up on the volume when the program is back on. This and it scares the crap out of me when they do that especially when I’m nappin.

Those offending ads mysteriously disappeared a few days later. I understand there is a law now?

wildpotato's avatar

@woodcutter You have noticed that the CALM Act went into effect (woohoo!), which happened as scheduled earlier this week. It was originally passed in 2010. Here’s a good radio interview on the topic.

woodcutter's avatar

@wildpotato I have heard of the act but still we have a few ads that are violating my sensitivities to this day. I am thinking the broadcasters have some time to run those ads they have in the pipe and change later? One is an ad that advertises to advertise. Another one is a furniture store that has fricken Paula Deen hawking for them and that woman I have learned to hate.

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