Social Question

likipie's avatar

URGENT My guy friend asked if I wanted to hang out...

Asked by likipie (1462points) January 14th, 2013

He asked if I wanted to hang out and I said yes, because we haven’t seen each other in a while. He said to name a time and place and I (stupidly!) asked if he wanted to hang out at the library (of all places!!) with me! He said sure but he didn’t seem too excited. Now I don’t know what to do. Should I ask him if he wants to get something to eat, or get a cup of coffee? WHAT DO I DO??

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22 Answers

bookish1's avatar

Why is this such a dilemma? Can’t you simply change your plans with him? Speaking as a long time student, I hate it when people decide to “hang out” in the library. Find a cafe or restaurant instead.

How old are you? Do you have a crush on him or something?

KNOWITALL's avatar

First of all, all caps makes it SEEM like he is more than a guy ‘friend’?????

Second, if he’s disappointed, he probably wants more privacy, which may not be a good thing. Public places girl!!!

Lastly, if he doesn’t like it at the library, ask what he’d prefer, then you can see where his head is at.

gailcalled's avatar

Why the hysteria? Meet him at the library and ask him whether he wants to stay there or go somewhere else.

likipie's avatar

@bookish1 I’m 16 and yes I do like him.
@KNOWITALL I’m definitely planning on staying in public.
@gailcalled I’m hysterical because I have very little experience when it comes to guys and I’m really nervous! And he’ll be here any minute and I didn’t know what to do.

syz's avatar

Chill. That’s what you do.

zenvelo's avatar

So when he arrives, say “let’s go somewhere we can talk” and then walk to a Starbucks or a pizza place. Problem solved. And you can talk to him on he way, too.

Also, this is exactly how you get experience! Good Luck!

KNOWITALL's avatar

Yeah, chill out and be his friend. Trust me, all my friends were guys, don’t try so hard.

ucme's avatar

He said let’s go some place quiet & you suggest the library, nice one…unless I’m reading too much into it.

likipie's avatar

@zenvelo, @KNOWITALL Thanks guys! I really do appreciate it.

Seek's avatar

Holy cow. Relax. It’s a social meeting, not a war conference.

The library is a great place to hang out and talk. So is a coffee shop. Avoid dark alleyways and anyplace otherwise date-rapey.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@ucme They’re 16, he wants privacy to do naughty things, guaranteed. :)

zenvelo's avatar

@KNOWITALL You assumed he wanted privacy, that’s not what @likipie said. And now you’re saying all he wants is to feel her up. Geez, give the guy a chance. He asked her to hangout and let her decide where, that’s about as honorable as he can be!

Don’t project your fantasy onto two kids who are trying to get to know one another.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@zenvelo Yo, joking here, thus the smiley face. Chill.

gailcalled's avatar

@likipie: Keep in mind, and I know it is tough, that he may be just as nervous as you. Guys your age are not known for their suave demeanor.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

Why not meet him at the library and then suggest going to a nearby coffee shop, where you’ll be able to relax and talk more comfortably?

wundayatta's avatar

Oh, and whatever happens, get on your phone and give us live updates! You need us to advise you as you go along!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding. Just kidding! ;-)

Pachy's avatar

Everybody here says “chill” like it’s no big deal, but it’s a big deal to you and hearing you bravely admit “I’m hysterical because I have very little experience when it comes to guys and I’m really nervous! And he’ll be here any minute and I didn’t know what to do,” fills me with empathy. I’m old enough to be your grandad, but I remember super-clearly how that feels. You were right to reach out to us for advice, but to some extent, just go with the flow, let it be what it will be. I know everything will turn out well for you.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

Breath in, beathe out. Stay chill, don’t be nervous. I’m sure all he wants to do is hang out with you and have a laugh. Go and enjoy yourself, let us know how it goes.

marinelife's avatar

Tell him you had another thought and you had changed your mind. What’s the big deal?

burntbonez's avatar

Any word on what happened?

likipie's avatar

Sorry it’s so late, but here’s an update if anyone’s still interested. We ended up going out for lunch and it was a blast. Now, 6 months later, we see each other on a regular basis and have become very close friends. Nothing romantic has progressed but, like I said, we have a very strong friendship. Thank you all for your wonderful advice and I know I didn’t say this right away but it really helped me feel confident :)

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