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ETpro's avatar

[NSFW] Black holes... Black Holes... What happened to all the White Holes?

Asked by ETpro (34247 points ) July 12th, 2013

Is the Universe discriminatory? White Holes, arise! Let’s rebel against a Universe that appears to reward supermassive black holes with galaxies or nebula of shining white stars; main-sequence brown, red and yellow stars; a menagerie of red, yellow and brown dwarfs; and even less notable black holes whose whole life revolves around their beloved supermassive black hole: but that leaves out white holes altogether. What’s wrong with an occasional white hole?

I mean, we’ve all heard the bigoted claim that, “The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” Personally, my experience suggests that’s simply not true. But does the Universe think it is? Let’s hear it for holes of every color! Bring on the red holes, and the yellow ones, and the brown. Oh and yes, hooray for white holes as well. Hasn’t humanity progressed enough by now that we can have a whole hole appreciation, and not discriminate about the color of the hole?

And don’t trot our the tired and debunked slippery slope argument that allowing love of white holes will lead to interspecies breeding with wormholes. I’ve met some weird people in my time, but not a one that was likely to seduce a worm—other than a pants worm—which is NOT interspecies breeding.

So let your black humor shine and let’s discuss what’s funny and sexy about holes of every color. And who believes that the saying about the juice from dark berries?

If you prefer SFW thoughts on holes, here’s the whole lot of SFW hole questions from the black hole series:
1  —  “Can a black hole overeat?”
2  —  “How big is your average black hole?”
3  —  “What happens when a black hole evaporates?”
4  —  “Would an ordinary black hole attract antimatter?”
5  —  “Could you kill an ordinary black hole by feeding it antimatter?”
6  —  “What is the morphology of a black hole?”
7 “What happens if a black hole and a stable wormhole interact?”

Also, @mattbrowne asked What exactly happens when a (hypothetical) antimatter black hole merges with a ‘normal’ black hole? shortly before I arrived here. That excellent question deserves to be part of the series. Feel free to add any other notable black hole questions from whatever date.

And with that, I will shut my hole about black holes.

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13 Answers

bookish1's avatar

Dude, except for “pants worm,” how is this NSFW? :-p

ETpro's avatar

Ha! Do I have to spell out the holes of interest? Vaginas, anuses, urethras…

blueiiznh's avatar

Come on. If you are really trying to make awareness to all the colored holes, how come you didn’t mention the yellow holes, red holes, or even the brown holes? tsk tsk tsk

gondwanalon's avatar

Wow you sure love think about black holes! The reason that back holes are black is because they seem to rule the universe with such great power and beauty. Perhaps they are the hands of God. If so then perhaps God is black. If God is back then black is beautiful and also why black holes are black.

By the I way, i did a google search of black holes a couple of years ago and I got a porno site. HA. I don’t think that people should use black holes name in vain.

ETpro's avatar

@blueiiznh Oh ye who fail to follow the Great God Neptune’s orders to Read the Details. See this, “Bring on the red holes, and the yellow ones, and the brown.” in the second paragraph. I am an equal opportunity hole lover if ever there was one.

@gondwanalon I’ve been fascinated by black holes of the celestial and the earthly for as long as I can remember. I love your take on their awesomeness.

ETpro's avatar

@bookish1 And not to be forgotten, mouths. Luscious lips.

El_Cadejo's avatar

Ya know… somehow @ETpro when I saw all the black hole questions from you this week I had this strange feeling come Friday you’d be asking a question like this :P

gondwanalon's avatar

@ETpro, The covept of singularity is too much for me to understand so I just gave up.
Goodon you fort your efforts!

ETpro's avatar

@uberbatman Oh you betcha. I walked over to the Target store in the mall nearby today. I saw several the event horizons of several black holes there. The attractive force was almost too much to bare.

@gondwanalon Your typing seems to be in a singularity. What are you on? I want some!

gondwanalon's avatar

ETpro Sorry about that. Please forgive. I’m in the CCU recovering from Minimaze heart surgery using an iPad mini. I’m also on a lot of drugs (some that I’ve never heard of. I’ve been in and out of ICU and CCU for the last 5 days. I’m now on day 6 and doing good but bored. I’ll do better in the future. Good health to you.

ETpro's avatar

@gondwanalon I thought that might be the case. I wish you a very speedy recovery. And no need for any appologies, I asked because I suspected it might be operating under some powerful painkillers. I have to take oxycodone occasionally for severe back pain due to osteoarthritis pinching a nerve. Rereading what I’ve written during such moments, I’m always amazed. I thought at the time I typed it I was forming perfect English thoughts. :-)

Stay in touch, typos or no, while you recover. No need to be bored.

pleiades's avatar

This is all very confusing for me! I’m thinking half science half porno and it’s not working out!

ETpro's avatar

@pleiades You just need to dig deeper into a few of the NSFW kind of holes. Black or white as suits you. :-)

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