Social Question

brown_eyed_blonde's avatar

Just saw my ex's new girlfriend slagging me off on Twitter. I'm angry. How to cope and find the willpower to stop snooping?

Asked by brown_eyed_blonde (86 points ) December 21st, 2013 from iPhone

My ex left me for someone else but was a complete coward about it. He started treating me badly so I would dump him basically. I did and he got with this girl the day after. This was September and they moved in together last month.

I sent my ex some angry texts when I found out they moved in together and we haven’t contacted each other since. I don’t intend to ever see him or speak to him again. He disgusts me. I told him this.

I hadn’t looked at his or her social media since which has been three weeks. I forced myself to stop looking because it was making me upset. But I had a weak moment today and checked her Twitter. I noticed on the 28th of November she tweeted: “It’s a weird feeling knowing someone has been stalking your social media #getalife”

I know it was me she was talking about because the 28th of November was when I found out they moved in together and I sent him angry texts.

I’m angry. I felt like tweeting her back but obviously I’m not going to. I have more dignity than that. I never made anything public on social networking websites concerning the break up and the fact that she has gets to me. I thought maybe she was a nice girl which is why my ex wants to be with her, but she seems to be a nasty piece of work. If it was the other way around and I was the girl a guy left his ex for, I’d feel sorry for the ex for being broken up with in such a cowardly way and that it must be heartbreaking for her. But she just says “get a life”

The anger stage is hard. I need to find the will power to stop me from snooping…

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10 Answers

dxs's avatar

You’re better than both of them so don’t bother wasting your time with those people. Just ignore them and spend time with people who actually care about you.

marinelife's avatar

Don’t look and you won’t care. You need to not be so obsessed with your ex and his new firlfriend, and focus instead on your own life and moving on.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Send a note praising how good they look together. Be happy for them. Genuinely happy.

johnpowell's avatar

First.. You aren’t weird or bad for acting and feeling this way. You just had the guts to ask a question 100K others are thinking tonight.

But you are making things worse for yourself. Ignore them and things will get back to normal. You aren’t really helping yourself. Nothing you can possibly do will make things better, only worse. Trust me, I know just ignoring it is hard but you have to. Just please don’t respond. That is what they want.

Pachy's avatar

You live by social media, you die by social media. Get used to it.

Coloma's avatar

@hearkat Excellent, yes, I have long held this little mantra close to my heart.

@brown_eyed_blonde IF you really want to keep causing suffering to yourself you will continue to compulsively snoop. IF you really want to be free, happy and at peace, you will stop. It IS that simple.
So your ex was a coward, so he is with someone else now, so they are moving in together. So?

So what?

These situations are par for the course for immature people in relationship.
Move on, you’re only hurting yourself st this point.

ETpro's avatar

Hate to sound harsh, but I think here advice, #getalife, is good advice. Make sure it includes neither of them, as they have both given you ample reason to exclude them from your life. But pick yourself up move on. Like Vince Lombardi counseled his players, “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.”

augustlan's avatar

While I wouldn’t say “get a life”, I do think you should get busy living your life. Don’t give them any room in your head…fill it with other, positive stuff. Be too busy to care, in other words. And remember…time heals. Just hang in there until it does its work.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

@augustlan is so right; time does heal. You’re entitled to be angry and in pain. Yet, when you look at your ex’s social media, and those of his current girlfriend, you open your own wounds, heighten your suffering, and hinder your recovery. There’ll come a day, very soon, when you won’t care about these people at all. It’ll be a great day, because you’ll have taken away their power to hurt you.

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