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jeremy0207's avatar

Anything I need to know when meeting my girlfriend's dad?

Asked by jeremy0207 (197 points ) 2 months ago

Today I am meeting my girlfriend’s dad in person. I wasn’t nervous at all but I am a bit now. I just want to make a good impression and I would like to know how I can overcome this nervousness. I am sure I will get over it once I am comfortable being around him, but if any of you guys have any experiences you want to share, how you faced your girlfriend or boyfriend’s dad, I would love to hear about them. I know I should just be myself, and you would be surprised me and her dad have some things in common so it shouldn’t be too hard, but what are things I can do to make a good impression?

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22 Answers

filmfann's avatar

Don’t try to be his friend. Don’t try to be relaxed. Fathers want you to be slightly intimidated.

marinelife's avatar

Look him in the eye and shake his hand. Tell him that you will take good care of his girl if you two are going out.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
zenvelo's avatar

Be polite, be yourself. Ask him open ended questions about himself, like “Emily told me you once—-, what was that like?”

And don’t be at all physical with his daughter, except maybe holding hands as you leave. But really, nothing more than that. If she initiates contact, that’s good, but don’t do more than accept her physical contact, do not return it.

Bear this in mind – fathers are protective of their children, especially daughters, and they also want them to be happy. So if he sees her happy and liking you that is great. If he sees you trying to encroach on her physically, he’ll not like it.

jeremy0207's avatar

@zenvelo Do you think I should do things like when we’re going to sit down, pull out her chair, and things like that, or does it show that I am pushing myself too hard?

gailcalled's avatar

If you behave like that normally with her, then by all means do. Don’t suddenly turn into someone you’re not.

josie's avatar

see @marinelife
Firm handshake, make eye contact, smile.
And the real good news is, you can say “I think we have some things in common”

GoldieAV16's avatar

Be respectful of him, and be respectful of her. By all means, if you normally pull out her chair or open the door for her, do those things.

I think it’s wonderful that you care. She is a lucky girl.

zenvelo's avatar

@gailcalled and @GoldieAV16 both offer the good advice, be yourself, don’t try to live up to something you are not. The fact you are even asking here shows you have respect for him and for your girlfriend.

And smile! Be friendly!

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

Refer to your girlfriend by her name, not by any endearments. Her dad will feel uncomfortable, and maybe decide not to like you, if you call her “Honey,” “Sweetie,” etc.

If her dad’s chatty and likes to talk, listen to his long stories as if they’re the most interesting things you’ve ever heard.

alphabetpony92's avatar

I think its best to just be yourself.

Also, I would not say things like “hi, I’m the guy who’s screwing your daughter.” It might be over the top if you said this. : /

bolwerk's avatar

Try to gauge how cretinous he is (pro tip: dads who try to intimidate boyfriends are cretins). If he is an utter cretin, drop a hint that your penis has been inside his daughter’s mouth. He’ll hate that.

jeremy0207's avatar

@bolwerk @alphabetpony92 @SadieMartinPaul @zenvelo @GoldieAV16 @josie @gailcalled @ragingloli @marinelife

Thank you all for the help! It went very good, from the looks of it, like I mentioned before, we do have things in common! So on the conversation side it wasn’t too hard! I think he actually likes me (: I really hope he does, I want him to be comfortable being around me, and being with his daughter. But yeah, I would say everything went very good (:

AshLeigh's avatar

Tip: don’t follow @bolwerk‘s advice…

Kropotkin's avatar

Everything went very well. Had I been the father and heard you say, or so saw you write, “everything went very good”—you would not be seeing her ever again.

bolwerk's avatar

I guess @Kropotkin is not an anarchist at all. I guess he’s a patriarchal grammar fascist.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Be respectful and classy. Those two things will get you far with parents.

jeremy0207's avatar

@Kropotkin Haha yeah. I made sure to make eye contact (at least around 75% of the time, I feel that making more eye contact than that makes things a bit awkward, or maybe it’s just me). Asked him questions as @zenvelo suggested. So it was the regular, he asked me a question, then I asked him one, and then the conversation took on from there.

Kropotkin's avatar

@bolwerk Come the anarchist revolution, I’ll have you hanged last. I want you to see the hanging corpses and the heads on pikes of all the other subnormal illiterate fascists and liberals.

jeremy0207's avatar

@Kropotkin Looks like you are having lots of fun with this aren’t you? (:

bolwerk's avatar

@Kropotkin: you fucking anarcho-communists couldn’t win a one-man race because it’d never get out of committee.

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