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kimchi's avatar

How do you tell your mom about the concern of your health?

Asked by kimchi (913 points ) March 19th, 2014

Recently (2 days ago), I ate pork. The middle was pink but the outside was cooked. I have a feeling I have tapeworms. The day after eating the pork, I had pain in my stomach. It went away, then comes back again. I really do need to tell my mom, however, I’m scared to. Please tell me how to properly be brave and stand up to her. I’m so scared and please list any experiences because I need to know anyone who has and how it has been. I’m sorry if I seem like a loser, I’m so scared that I have tapeworms and scared to tell my mom.

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18 Answers

rojo's avatar

You do not have to “stand up to her”. You just have to tell her you are concerned and talk to her in an honest and open manner.

Chances are you do not have tapeworms but that in no way implies that your fears are not real.

I don’t understand your fear of speaking plainly to your mom but it is obvious you do. You need to figure out why you have this somewhat irrational fear and overcome it in order to have a mature relationship with your mom.

zenvelo's avatar

Go to your mom and tell her your stomach is upset, and you are in pain. You don’t need to go into detail until you talk to a doctor.

And, you don’t get tapeworms from pork. If anything you get trichinosis, which is trichina worms. But if the outside was cooked and the inside was cooked but still a bit pink, I highly doubt you got any worms.

I don’t know what country you live in, in the US, trichinosis is relatively rare in pork these days. It’s much more common in bear meat.

kimchi's avatar

@rojo I’m at a young age and I don’t know why you’re blaming me? People have different fears and so if you’re going to answer like that then don’t do it at all.

kimchi's avatar

I live in the US.

rojo's avatar

I am not blaming you dear.

I am just trying to point out that you are probably making much more out of this than it really needs.

I did not live in a household where I feared my mother. She was always there for me and if I was scared she would want me to tell her so she could allay my fears and make me feel better.

Buttonstc's avatar

Please read this carefully and take note of the fact that the incidence of trichinosis in conventionally raised pork in the USA was ZERO.

So unless the pork was from a free-range pig, you’re fine. If it came from a regular supermarket (or restaurant) and didnt cost three times more than usual, unlikely it was free-range. They usually are careful to make a big deal out of and clearly label free- range because it is so relatively uncommon. And most restaurants don’t serve free-range pork due to cost.

Hope this helps.
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http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/10/opinion/10mcwilliams.html?_r=0
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johnpowell's avatar

I wouldn’t worry. I asked a doctor friend and there is no way you would be having abdominal pain in two days if it was actually tapeworms. It is in your head or something else.

I thought I had scabies once and every little itch turned into a major itch since I was screaming “SKABBIES” in my head”.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Why are you scared to talk to your mom?

KNOWITALL's avatar

Nurses can see it in your blood, so it’s just a simple blood test. Don’t be scared, it’s probably just upset your stomach.

Tell mama your wittle belly hurts and let her handle it. :)

herculies's avatar

Is there something you are not telling us?

hearkat's avatar

@Buttonstc – That’s an Op-Ed piece from 5 years ago. The following is from the end of the article about the author of the opinion piece, and the funding source for the study:
James E. McWilliams, a history professor at Texas State University at San Marcos, is the author of the forthcoming “Just Food: How Locavores Are Endangering the Future of Food and How We Can Truly Eat Responsibly.

An Op-Ed article last Friday, about pork, neglected to disclose the source of the financing for a study finding that free-range pigs were more likely than confined pigs to test positive for exposure to certain pathogens. The study was financed by the National Pork Board.

It sounds fishy to me… a study by the pork board found that factory raised pork is safer than free-range? Imagine that! And a dude who’s written a book against the locators movement is writing an Op-Ed article about it? You don’t say! He’s a history professor? Well clearly, he’s an expert in farming, nutrition, and medicine, too!

Do you have any more recent or reliable resources for that claim?

Buttonstc's avatar

My primary point was that the presence of trichinosis in pork products is negligible in the US.

The chance of her having trichinosis is so low it might as well be nil. Even high end restaurant chefs nowadays cook pork with some pink in the middle. Much longer than that and its the texture of sawdust.

Things are vastly different now than they were years ago when trichina worms were far more common.

If she were to catch anything from pork, salmonella if far far more likely than trichinosis these days.

rojo's avatar

Hope @kimchi was able to discuss this with mom. Being sick and scared and alone is no picnic.

Smashley's avatar

This is one of those moments where you learn to “grow up” or you diminish yourself. Take the braver route and address your health concerns. Life is just like that sometimes. Things scare you, but you ultimately have to act for yourself and advocate for yourself. After all, no matter how much your mother might over-react (I’ve never met her, so I don’t know) she certainly would want you to get treated earlier rather than later, to get checked out rather than worry. If you have something it is always better to know than not to know.

Sometimes we feel ashamed for things like our health, for socially conditioned reasons we can’t quite understand. Though many adults feel this way, it is a childish thing to let this fear control you. It’s your health, and ultimately your life. Though this little episode isn’t likely to take you out (really, really, really not likely), building the courage to advocate for yourself is a very important skill that could save your life some day. Pretty soon, it won’t even seem like courage, but “just something grown ups do.”

JLeslie's avatar

Trichinosis is extremely rare in America, @Buttonstc is right. I don’t know if the OP is in America.

You would likely be much sicker if you were infected.

I don’t understand being afraid of telling your mom. Is she going to lecture you about eating underdone pork? Or, punish you? By the way, slightly pink probably still was hot enough to kill any organism that might have been there. In America the organism is so rare that some restaurants now serve pork with some pink in the center. Although, I never eat it that way.

I say tell your mom so she can reassure you you are fine. You will feel better I think once you tell your mom you are worried.

If you choose not to tell your mom right now, then if your symptoms go away in a day or two you will know you are fine. If they persist for days you have to tell your mom anyway that you are not feeling well. If you stay sick and go to the doctor then you can tell your doctor your concerns about the possibility it is from the pork. If you develop muscle pain, fever, or swelling of the eyes then those are clear signs you must be evaluated by a doctor.

Brian1946's avatar

@JLeslie

“I don’t know if the OP is in America.”

She lives in the US.

JLeslie's avatar

@Brian1946 Ok, good. Then she has very little reason to worry.

herculies's avatar

My mother can tell if I am sick, right away. Even if I am uneasy about something. Moms are the first line of defense for children… it starts when they chase you around with a tissue when you are a toddler. I am feeling that there is some kind of family dynamic in this situation with @kimchi.

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