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Paradox25's avatar

Where is the drawing line between living a life that reflects the type of person you are, and using this as an excuse not to improve yourself?

Asked by Paradox25 (9973 points ) April 19th, 2014

It appears to be a common thing for people to say that you need to accept yourself for the person you really are, and I’ve lived up to this myself personally, at least in my own mind. However, there are also a great deal of people who tell you to try new things, not to be afraid to take a chance, and by challenging the way you think you can improve your own life and happiness. I’ve taken this advice too, where sometimes I was glad that I’d done this, and other times I’d regretted the decision.

What is the drawing line here? How do we determine which chances we should take or not, and when we may need to do this?

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6 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

Self actualization has to do with being the best person we can be. That means continuing growth no matter how old we are.

It’s not a matter of taking chances, it’s a matter of being open to new experiences. That doesn’t mean go bungee jump or parachute next weekend; but if one has never been to a play or a performance or a symphony, and one is given the opportunity to see one at no cost except for a couple of hours, then go for it.

So the line is not going after new things just because they are new, but trying new things as they are presented to you.

Cruiser's avatar

Getting married.

Unbroken's avatar

I liked @zenvelos answer but I wanted to answer anyway.

Self Acceptance just means you are ok with who you are. You know yourself and accept that your life circumstances and interpretation of events has you to your current state, it is not about not having goals or a commitment to never change.

To determine what is right for you is very different. To assume there is always a right answer is fallacious. Life usually continues onward and at anypoint in time you can evaluate and alter your course. By overthinking choices and putting some grand meaning on them it just serves to heighten anxiety and paralysis. At least it did for me personally.

Paradox25's avatar

I don’t know. I’m currently in a tough financial situation, and there are clearly jobs I’m not only uncomfortable working at, but have no motivation to want to do. Some people say I should take these because they pay well, and other guys are willing to work at them, but I was happier to accept a job that doesn’t pay horribly, though not as good as the others I’m not interested in, but a more simple job for the time being until I can find work in my related career field again. There are other reasons I’d asked this question too, but I’ll only use the example above. Thanks to those who’ve answered here.

Unbroken's avatar

Do you respect these people who advise you to expand out of your comfort zone?

Do you feel they made similar “sacrifices” that would only apply if it the discomfort actually continued or grew or instead of using it as a stepping stool… And do you wonder at their level of contentedness?

If your interests are very specific and you want to love your work then you seem to know what is right for you at this time. And the only right or wrong is what we believe to be true about us. What we feel is right. Imho.

Paradox25's avatar

I respect them, but I’m also not the same as them. There’s clearly jobs I have no interest in doing. I’m not into construction, and I’m only interested in the maintenance end of my field. I’ve worked construction before briefly, and I hated it. I’m more into technology, troubleshooting problems, motor controls, repairing equipment, etc. These guys have done and liked construction, but I don’t, so I wish they would back off. I don’t associate much with them anymore, but others have appeared to take their place. My decision is made, and I’m sticking with it.

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