If you were about to die now, what would be your last words?
Asked by
Sneki95 (
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November 29th, 2016
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52 Answers
Smoking makes you poor and destroys your health and makes you smell really bad.
If that weren’t it, and if I had a moment to collect my thoughts, then I’d steal Dorothy Parker’s line upon first hearing a telephone ring:
“What fresh hell is this?”
That tasted funny. Not ha-ha funny.
If I couldn’t breathe, then my last words would not be – could not be – “I can’t breathe.” (Not spoken words, anyway.) However, if I were having a heart attack, then maybe they would be.
“Hold my beer and watch this.” Except that I don’t drink beer.
I’d probably say something stupid like “Well, it’s been real, dudes and ladies.” That’s literally what fell out of my mouth when I got laid off from my last job. I’m not good at handling intense events.
If I for some reason wanted to end my life then I can think of some last words that could bring that to pass:
“Are those real?”
“Darn right those pants make your ass look big.”
“We can still be friends.”
“Your mom is pretty hot.”
“What is this shit on the table, anyway? You trying to kill me here?”
haha – Trump will be president over my dead body!
I DID make sure the electricity was off….......
“Good thing I’m about to die; that would hurt like hell.”
“Your sister can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. You should take lessons from her.”
No words—just a mic drop.
The gold bars are hidden in the…
“Don’t spend too long grieving me. Get out there and live every second of your lives and be happy”.
Probably a toss up between:
“What the… ?”
and
“Oh, for… ”
I would hope to have just enough breath (and humor) to quote Woody Allen…
“I don’t believe in the afterlife but I’m taking a change of underwear just in case.”
@Pachy, I like this Woody Allen quote too: “I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
Generally it would depend on the circumstances.
If I was bleeding out in Iraq or Afghanistan, I might say either “Shitfuck Doc, can you fix me?!!!!!” or if I was in a different mood -“Don’t forget I’m worth 100 of those fuckers!!!!”
If I got sick and was dying in hospice or something, I would say to whomever was present “I loved every minute of knowing you”
Unless I was totally out of my head with pain killing drugs or something, then I would probably say something like “Mom, the bluebirds are so pretty”
But right now, I would say “Check on my dog”
Well crap, that didn’t go as planned.
I’m so pissed I didn’t go on the vacation I wanted to while my husband was out of work. I told my husband if I die before I’m 50 I’ll hate him for that. Only half joking.
“I’m going to heeeeeell!”
OMG!!! I don’t think will have more time to react than that.. it would be peaceful though..no regrets…)
I beg of you all to please go to church regularly so I don’t have to see you in hell.
It’s been good. It’s been real. See you on the other side.
Call Paul before throwing anything out. A few things are intentionally mislabeled!.
Intriguing. Now we want to know what and why @LuckyGuy.
Halleluyah thank you Jesus!
Hold my beer and watch this…..........
Good luck with the monster, sweetie.
@Jeruba, sio many of Woody’s characters in his films and short stories are preoccupied with death. In Love and Death he prays:
“And so I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Actually, make that “I run through the valley of the shadow of death” – in order to get OUT of the valley of the shadow of death more quickly.”
NOT NOW, GODDAMMIT! Actually, I have no idea. Never thought about it.
I saw a great inscription on an ornate headstone in a Key West graveyard that I think I would be appropriate to have on mine, if I have one. It’s from Shakespeare’s The Tempest. It’s the best and truest thing he ever wrote:
Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air.
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself—
Yea, all which it inherit—shall dissolve,
And like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
A few feet away in the same yard, is a stone that reads:
I told you I was sick!
Key West is a funny place.
“Tell… my wife… I… *cough… said….. .... hello.”
It’s from Futurama
I knew this was a bad idea.
Or maybe this:
“And I thought I’d never actually finish anything.”
Right now it would be “What is this pain in my head??”
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