What is the best way to kill someone with an ear of corn? (Details)

Tell them too many corny jokes in a row.

^Ha!

Children of the corn will take care of it.

Jam it down their throat to choke them to death.

No lube.

I would call in a lieutenant-kernel and have him shoot the other guy.

Yep, jam it down their throat to block their airway. Death my corn cob.

Show him this…..

https://goo.gl/images/XTy6zy

Combine it with a half-million or so other ears of corn in a silo, as in the climactic scene in Witness.

Insert the whole ear of corn in the ear canal. Use a hammer to drive it in if necessary.

Dry pop a whole ear, then make victim eat with nothing to drink.

I’ve fired whole corn cobs out of a potato cannon. At 175 ft/sec they have the same energy as a 20 ga. shotgun.

^That was the same response to the cucumber. Still effective, of course.

It’s still true. I’ve also launched apples, potatoes, onions and packed snow. The end of the tube is tapered to a sharp edge so it cuts the veggies to the perfect size. It is a fearsome device.

If all you want to do is maim them, not kill them, simply cut off their ears!

Sometimes, people on Fluther worry me.

Expelled violently from a Parrot rifle into their gaping maw.

Defending yourself with corn is only permissible if you are being stalked.

@chyna I think it’s hilarious, an exercise in imagination. haha

Turn the corn into creamed corn, nastiest stuff in the world, would kill anybody foolish enough to eat it. I know I would choke to death in an instant. LOL

Give them extra butter and watch them have a heart attack.

An ear of corn already comes with a shank, what more do you need?

;)

@Soubresaut – you owe you our shanks for that comment

Have victim stand on a vertical ear of corn. Put a noose around ther neck. Kick the corn.

@josie LOL, would work if you were the size of a Hamster.

@elbanditoroso— Lol ouch! You can keep them! No shanks! (:

Place the ear of corn in the particle accelerator at CERN, wait until it has almost reached the speed of light then get them to put their head in the way.

Wedge the ear of corn under the brake pedal of the intended victims car.

Drop ear of corn int bottle with gasoline and make a Molocob cocktail. LOL

Tie them to the floor and put the ear of corn on their chest. The next day put two ears of corn on their chest and double the number every day. They will be dead within six months.

Within six months, @flutherother? You need to do the arithmetic on that again. They’ll be dead in less than a few weeks – from the weight of the corn – but more likely dead from dehydration within a week or so, anyway.

The weight of the corn would be crushing in under a month if we started with only a single kernel and then did that geometric progression.

Excellent! I have the ear of corn now all I need is a victim mwuhahaha

Mix intended victim with cornmeal and make cornbread. haha

Roll the victim in egg batter and corn meal, then feep-fry in corn oil.