Older jellies: do you live in a retirement community? Or do you think you ever will?

I live in independent living of in other words a senior apartment block of 33 residents. At first is was exciting attending the Festivities of which in our small Town of 5000 people offered the seniors free meals at their famous pricey restaurants and events.

( I later learned that these Restaurants provide this free to seniors and write it off as charity to train there yearly new staff for the upcoming tourist Seasons ( skiers in winter and Summer tourists).

I was lucky to snag the only larger apartments suitable for a couple of which no one wanted so I was offered it five years ago.

It was the same as the others in terms of $ as the rent is subsidized according to 30% of your earnings. I live on the top floor of a 2nd story apartment block and love the views of the mountains in this National Park System.Everything is in a two block walking distance and has Community Events/Festivities to attend if I so desire to take part.

At first I enjoyed the interaction and festivities then felt that I needed more than scheduled events etc It began to feel institutionalized , so I do not attend events that catered to the much older seniors ( gawd sing songs??,etc)

Those in there late 70 – 80 years of age and older should not be in this apartment block as they are walking around with oxygen tanks,walkers etc

There is no room in the next stage apartments for those that need assisted living.

Here it is for independent living and cooking for oneself etc.

I go hiking and photographing outdoors as much as I can and prefer activity that encourages interests and physical movement, not just eating at restaurants ( free or not)!

I figure that if and when I become incapacitated then and only then I would go into assisted living.

Meanwhile I will enjoy my health and experiences at a time that I can do these things.

I see in the future more and more seniors of the future will be living in a large home with several others in communal living and having there own space to themselves but sharing a kitchen and living room with the others.

I have seen this on a documentary and it works as long as you like the people and have known them as friends otherwise problems arise due to personality conflicts etc.

As my older brother stated recently he refuses to live in an institutionalized setting of which much older people are living in now.
He is close to 78 yrs old and still lives in his own subsidized apartment of which will be torn down in the next couple of years, understandably he is worried and searching for another route.

I hope I am long stone cold dead before I have to consider living in any type of care home.

@SQUEEKY2, I don’t think she is specifically talking about a nursing home.

There are a number of places nearby (within 100 miles) that offer really nice graduated facilities that I would not be averse to joining in the future. The trick would be to know when. My mother, 95, still refuses to live in a place with “old people” and as a result, is alone and depressed in her condo. She is mostly blind and refuses to have aides.

I still enjoy living at home, I am not infirm, I like having a garden and a dog, but I can see that changing at some point, and wanting to be in a community.

Oh I see, a place that has someone help or do the housework, shovel the driveway type thing, yeah maybe when we get a lot older but not right now or anytime soon.

Just keep active and in shape and one can live independently.

@Inspired_2write, I think that is a bit oversimplified. I have had arthritis for 40 years, I’ve had cancer (treatments left me damaged) and a bad kidney, so no matter how “active and in shape” I am, the limitations will catch up with me.
I can definitely live independently, but I cannot live independently indefinitely.

I’m 53 with a middle school aged child, so not eligible for such a community yet, but I can definitely see the benefits of living in an “Active Adult Community.” I think I would enjoy the activities and events. I don’t know, because I also like solitude and I can’t stand cliques and gossipy people, so if I did live in one, I’d have to moderate my involvement.

I’m older and still living in my house but I do consider it from time to time and wouldn’t rule it out at some point. If I have to give up driving at some point, I would definitely move to a city, perhaps in senior housing, or to a community that provides on-site activities and transportation to other places. Since I am single and my adult kids are far away, the future is certainly a concern.

Not talking about a care home or nursing facility. A retirement community like the one I visited is a large, attractive compound with separate housing units, some mobile homes and some manufactured homes, each on its own little plot with a driveway and carport and a little front garden. There’s a scenic pond and a brook, communal resources such as a function room and a library and shared exercise facilities, an offroad back door to a shopping mall where residents can walk in or trundle in on their golf carts, and an active committee of resident board members who keep things in order.

There’s a part of me that shudders at the idea of such an artificial village, but when I compare it with a facility that has little identical apartments on a long corridor, a communal dining room, and Bingo at 6:30 on Friday nights, it looks heavenly to me.

Just thinking about it now and wondering what it would really be like to live there. Also wondering what, realistically, I will be able to afford when I can’t keep my house any longer.

@Jeruba I understood what you meant. There is a planned community in North Carolina that apparently has several retired professors in it that looks very attractive to me. There are also many just south of here in New Jersey but most of them are inland from the coast and not near a town so that would be a downside for me. There is one near Walnut Creek in Contra Costa that I might consider at some point. There are also some active adult communities that provide a continuing care feature with nursing or memory care facilities that one can move to if needed.

I think if I were thinking of moving to one, I would try to see if I could spend some time there and get a feel for what the community and activities really are like.

Nope! I prefer to loom over my children with the threat that my care will fall on them in my dotage. The thrill of watching them sweat in terror at the prospect makes old age a genuine treat.

I live in a retirement city, I think we are at 130,000 residents now. It’s great. Fun every day.

People volunteer to head up “clubs.” A club can be almost anything. There are several writing clubs here, something you might enjoy. I teach zumba. I attend lecture and discussion clubs if I like the topic. I like to go to the Civil Discourse club, Science and Technology, and Freethinkers.

There are over 2,000 scheduled clubs. There is also golf, tennis, pickle ball, dragon boat, kayak, Doo Wop, bagpipers, the list goes on. It works because retirees have the time to volunteer and participate.

Where my in-laws lived it was a much smaller scale, but still a significant community. I think it was 400 houses. They had one club house, as opposed to the dozens where I live. Even in their smaller community they had a beautiful resort style pool, gym, crafts, tennis, Spanish class, shows, discussions, it was very nice, but not as much variety of activities as where I live.

My community is very welcoming to adult children and grandkids who are visiting.

People often say it’s Stepford here, because almost everyone here has a grin on their face and like robots says how much they love it.

@janbb Have you ever been to The Villages? There is a NJ club here. There might be a librarian club, I know there are book clubs. Democrat club. Singles clubs. Drive your golf cart everywhere.

The wife has taken to taunting the kids, looking forward to the day when she can be free of me and kick up her size 7 heels. “Last night your father forgot to put out the garbage! Is that spare room ready?”