General Question

RandomMrdan's avatar

If you leave a big tip for a waitress and your phone number, how does that come across?

Asked by RandomMrdan (7367 points ) August 30th, 2008

Has anyone done anything like this? Has anyone had anything like this done to you? And how did it turn out? If you left the number and you never got a call back, would you pretty much have to stop going to that place to eat in the future just to avoid being in that situation of having that person serve you again? If I were interested in possibly seeing a waitress outside of her work, is there a better way of going about it?

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22 Answers

willbrawn's avatar

was she hot?

augustlan's avatar

I’d say just leave a regular size tip and a note if you’re not up to face to face asking her out. The big tip + phone number might have an air of prostitution to it.

AstroChuck's avatar

Not well if my wife answered the phone.

JackAdams's avatar

I’d leave a huge tip in the form of a personal check, with my phone number on the check.

If she didn’t call me within 24 hours, I’d stop payment on the check.

August 31, 2008, 2:32 AM EDT

wildflower's avatar

Lets say she kinda likes you too and would actually want to give you a call, if she’s only able to do that after you give her a huge tip, she can’t unless she’s prepared to look like an opportunistic golddigger. And unless she is one, she’s not going to want to come across as one – lose-lose situation!

JackAdams's avatar

All kidding aside, I have dated waitresses before, but in all cases, it was because I was a regular customer, so they “knew” me and didn’t feel like they were dating some kind of stranger.

August 31, 2008, 2:41 AM EDT

Knotmyday's avatar

Just tell her that you want to ask her out. Shouldn’t be that hard to strike up a casual conversation…and leave a normal tip.

cak's avatar

I used to be a server and personally, the guys that left the big tip and their money…yeah, no, I didn’t date them. Something just creeped me out about the whole idea. I’m not saying you are an awful person – it’s good that you asked. Some servers might be ok with it, but I guess I just found it a bit odd.

Do you go to the place often? Talk to her more. Get to know her a little better.

Good luck!

PC_Enclosure_Man's avatar

Just leave a regular tip with your number, if she liked you and she calls, you know the feels are mutual. If she doesn’t call you haven’t lost face and you can go back to the diner anytime with a clear mind.

Randy's avatar

Just leave a regular tip and instead of leaving your number, just ask her out. That way your not playing the waiting game to see if she calls. No sense in playing games about it. If she likes you, she’ll go out with you and if she doesn’t, she’ll decline the date. Either way, it avoids a “weird” situation. (well… depending on how you ask her) Just be confident and show interest. Try to stay away from cocky. There is a fine line between confidence and cockiness. Best of luck to you.

generalspecific's avatar

haha, i did something a little like it. there was this cute cook at steak n shake, so the day after valentines day me and my friend went there and he was working. i had a little card and i wrote “roses are red, daisies are white, if you think i’m cute then call me some time” and left my number.
he called the next night.. and now we’re both very happy :)

Snoopy's avatar

I agree w/ Randy’s answer.

I was a waitress. I would not have returned a call to someone who just left a note. She might be involved w/ someone. She is hardly going to take the time to call you and say that…..and if she is, you will know immediately after asking her out…..

Trance24's avatar

Just ask her out to her face, she will admire that more then you just giving her your number on a piece of paper and expecting her to call you back.

marinelife's avatar

I would prefer to have someone express interest directly. The money is kind of sleazy.

Lovelocke's avatar

…in response to the actual question… no: You can keep going back as long as you like. I promise you she doesn’t remember you. There are a lot of faces to see, and they only smile and laugh because they want a big tip.

…which it seemed to have worked.

Snoopy's avatar

@lovelocke. Awww. Such a cynic. I actually liked some of the people I smiled and laughed at…..however, for others it was just b/c they were idiots.

nina's avatar

Like you want change from your tip.

cyndyh's avatar

This type of thing works better if the tip is whatever is normal for you at that place and the phone number is given to her directly. A friend actually got away with this sort of thing a few times. If you have a group thing going on and you can invite her to join you and your friends at a public place when she gets off work as well as leaving the number that’s even better. Try something like, “Hey, we’re all going to such-and-such after this. If you get off work and want to join us give me a call.”

bodyhead's avatar

She’s nice to you because she wants the tip. Odds are that she really isn’t into you whatsoever. Just like at the strip club, your waitress makes most of her income from tips. The nicer she is to you, the better tip you leave. People probably leave her notes more often then you’d think. At the restaurant where I use to work, we would hang up the notes in the kitchen for everyone to see.

That being said, if you still want to proceed, I would go with the advice already given. Ask her face to face or not at all. If yes, great. If no, move on.

Leave your regular tip. For people with big hearts, the tip will be big anyway.

XrayGirl's avatar

tacky and no confidence. It would be much better just to ask her out for a cup of coffee. She (I) would appreciate this much more. “Leaving a big tip and a “NOTE” is disrespectful, I think.

essieness's avatar

Weird and rude. Don’t do it. The better option is to talk to her and get to know her a little bit while you’re having dinner, then MAYBE ask her to have a drink/coffee sometime. Don’t just leave your number. And, just because you leave a big tip doesn’t mean she is obliged to take you up on the offer.

Mr_M's avatar

I wouldn’t THINK of leaving a note. I’d want to eat there a couple of times first, or, at the very least, strike up a conversation.

Ask her, how can you be sure, if you come here again, you’ll get HER as the waitress.

And if the conversation is going well, ask her to join you.

(Been there, done that).

When I was going to Grad school, I had 5 waitresses sitting at my table at once. Those were the days.

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