Is there anything about your significant other that, had you known about it earlier, would have been a deal breaker?

I hate to say it but yes. His health issues almost broke us financially and emotionally.

I think if I had really processed how different our emotional make-up was, it would have given me pause.

She’s does herself the best favors by broking the best deals…

I’ve never been married so I definitely can’t speak from experience, but I think this is a good reason why people shouldn’t get married when they’re too young.

In chats with my friends who often complain about their husbands and talk about their marital difficulties, I also don’t know if I’d ever want to be married at this point (I’m in my early 50’s) because it’s almost easier being alone than dealing with someone else’s quirks and issues.

I don’t regret a thing. As my old pappy used to say, if you truly love a woman, you love her warts and all. About the only thing pappy ever said that makes sense. And none of us is perfect.

There is quite a bit about both me AND my spouse that would be hard to take by others. However, we were friends for a year before we started dating. I think that made all the difference. As friends you tend to let your guard down and just be yourself. We both knew what we were getting into for the most part. I would not change a thing.

@anniereborn Ditto that. We lived together in my apartment and partied together for a year before we tied the knot. And she had a sweet baby girl from a previous failed relationship before we met. I knew I could never part with her or her baby girl, and we just grew on reach other.
Forty years on, I guess I can say it all came out in the wash. : ) No probleemos.

My wife and I are well suited.
We are both anti-drug, light drinkers, and have the same parenting philosophy. We evnjoy the same foods, and enjoy the same kind of films.
It’s a good match.
If there was a deal breaker, it would be money.
I am careful with debt, and not an extravagant spender. My wife thinks credit cards are meant to max out. We have found middle ground.

Yes.

No, but there certainly are things he does that I find frustrating. Nothing rises to the level of if I had known it would have been a dealbreaker.

Pretty much what @anniereborn said.

Sure, but that doesn’t mean they’re deal-breakers afterwards. Before being attached to someone, there is a lot of unknown, and encountering something very unwanted could fairly make one not want to develop a relationship. Once attached in a developed love relationship, the same thing can still be very unwanted, but not enough to make the relationship unwanted. They’re very different contexts.

@Zaku: Exactly. That’s my whole point. You’re fine with it now because you’re attached and love them for all sorts of reasons, but if you knew back before you were attached…maybe not.

Great answers everyone!

I knew that my future FIL and MIL were megalomaniacal bullies. But, I didn’t know just how megalomaniacal and bullying they could be, and how much damage they would cause.

Would that have stopped me from getting married? Most likely not, because I loved, and continue to love, my husband. But, I would have set extreme boundaries much sooner. For years, I’ve had little-to-nothing to do with my in-laws, because I won’t tolerate their abuse. I wished I’d drawn those lines before husband and I were married.

Not really. After 19 years of marriage we are still happy. The quirks aren’t the end of the world and aren’t worth reconsidering a past choice.