Have you ever faced harassment at work?

Yes, I’m Jewish and I actually had a coworker constantly make jokes about me being technically not Jewish in the eyes of Orthodox Judaism. Since my mom converted to Judaism when I was was young, my coworker is technically right. But it still made me super uncomfortable. Fortunately he got fired for a different reason altogether a couple weeks later, so I didn’t have to bring it up to management.

Yes. Years ago, I got a job running a picture frame shop that was attached to a glass company. Two brothers ran both. Turns out one was a terrible alcoholic. When he’d come in drunk, which was often, he’d throw pieces of 2×4 at the employees if he was mad at them (also often). Soon enough he started it with me.

I’m sorry you’re going through that. Seems like a progressive pattern with him. I would talk to HR.

I’m a male who has worked in hospitals for 38 years as a clinical lab tech. It’s a field dominated by women. Female nurses and female lab techs have taken sexual liberties with me with kissing, hugging and sexual innuendos. Even my female boss twice embarrassed me in the presence of coworkers with sexual comments about me. I always kept my mouth shut because I needed the job. If I tried doing any of that abuse on a female nurse or other female healthcare worker, I’d likely be terminated very quickly.

Yes, but not like what you’re going through.

Yes.

I think sooner or later it happens to almost everyone, male or female – and reading the replies above it’s clear that it can take different forms and involve many situations.

As a younger single woman what I’ve experienced most has been inappropriate sexual language and unwelcome touching. It goes on in the workplace, but also when I’m in public. I’m far from being a prude and I accept a certain amount of harmless flirting. But I think it’s always important to set personal boundaries, and learn to trust your gut in knowing when things are getting out of control.

The way I’ve resolved it depends on my environment. I’m a gig worker with jobs in real estate, hospitality (bartending), legal services, and fashion (modeling). Depending on circumstances I may report it senior management or union reps, refuse service to a client or customer, or get law enforcement involved. The biggest problems occurr when management or employers themselves are the source of harrassment, or when I’m in public alone outside work and with no kind of backup. Whatever the context I always start by talking directly to whoever is making me uncomfortable and trying to diffuse the situation by explaining why what they’re doing is out of line. If that doesn’t work I usually get louder & more blunt by telling them to stop and letting them know there will be consequences. Finally I take action by making a report, calling in help, or pushing back on physical intimidation.

I’m not a small person and I like to think I’m smart enough to take care of myself, but the fact is the worst has happened more than once. Regardless the risks I feel no one should ever tolerate physical abuse or other harrassing behavior on the job or in their personal life. Be clear with everyone about your limits. Know what your rights are at work, understand the law, and do what you have to do to protect yourself.

My boss groped me in the buttocks three times in 3 years.

I was also cyber bullied at university by two girls who made me feel like everything was my fault.

@gondwanalon Ditto that. I’ve had it happen as well. And I agree with your seeming sentiment that we seem to have a double standard on that crap in our society. Women, rightfully, won’t accept that from men nor should they. But some women seem to feel that if they do it to men were supposed to enjoy it. And if you take exception you’re either gay or a grouchy a hole or both. I am neither. I respect women and I expect the same in return. Stuffing your hand inside a man’s shirt and trying to rub his chest is no more acceptable than a man trying to grab a woman’s boobs. Same damn thing. Our society needs to get a handle on that crap. End of Rant.

I was 19 years old when a superior masturbated in front of me after I told him I wouldn’t give him a blow job. He forced me to watch or he would get me fired.

@Jonsblond You should have gotten him fired. Or found someone to kick his ass off the job site. Sorry you had to endure that.

^I reported him. He got to stay and I was moved to a different location.

That sucks. Very sad to hear that. : (

^I learned a valuable lesson. Trust no one.

Nor would I blame you the least bit. Sick society we live in.

I have recounted my experiences with the worst boss in the World here. His bosses supported him, and didn’t believe what anyone said about him. To do that would involve admitting they misjudged him. Eventually they came around, and he was placed in a management position without underlings. He should have been fired and prosecuted.

Its hard to say. I guess so, but it comes with the territory when you shake your shit near construction workers for a living.

Yes, by an older male coworker. I reported it and he left within a year or so.

Sorry to hear.
Yes, it has happened to me countless times in my working career.
For the most part I simply told them I was not interested. Some continued but I just held my firm front of “Not Interested”. One situation went on for over a year. They finally got fired. The other ones faded or moved on.
Stay strong!

Confront him with HR or a trusted coworker present. You don’t need to use the word harassment. Just explain what causes you discomfort and ask him to stop. HR should ask you if you want to file an official complaint. That’s your call, but it is good to document.

I had a dude in his late 60s early 70s constantly touch me and other coworkers (who were 16–18 years old)

He smelled me and touched my legs when I got new pants.

I somewhat called him out once for tickling another coworker. Weird how I can speak up when it’s someone else but not me.

I don’t work there anymore, as far as I know he still does.

He pissed me off and made me feel very unsafe.

I would go to HR.

I was attacked by another coworker in a room full of witnesses and nobody did a thing- they didn’t even appear to notice. I told my boss but he said nobody would do anything about it. I quit that day.

No. Or, if I have been at work I was able to nip it in the bud immediately and it didn’t register for me as more than a momentary thing. I know I’ve been lucky though, I know so many stories. I’ve been “harassed” and more outside of the work environment.

I’d say don’t stay quiet about it. Say something to him or give him a very cold shoulder, pull away, tell him to stop, etc. I don’t mean try all of those things. If he doesn’t get the message quickly then there is a problem. Normal men are afraid of being accused of harassment.

If you can’t get him to quickly stop by saying something directly to him then tell your boss. You can say it’s just making you uncomfortable you don’t have to acuse him of harassment necessarily. Just know if you tell your boss there is a good chance the guy will be spoken to, so then he will know you said something.

Ugh, sorry this is happening to you.