General Question

Emilyy's avatar

When you're in a committed relationship, do you think there's an understanding that you're ALWAYS available by phone?

Asked by Emilyy (2126 points ) September 18th, 2008

I was thinking, what if you just want to shut off that cell phone and be unreachable for an evening? Not forever, maybe just one night, and maybe just to watch some crap TV or take a nap. In today’s society of fewer and fewer land lines, is there some sort of expectation that you should always be available by cell when your honey calls?

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27 Answers

kevbo's avatar

Not in any relationship that I’d want to be in.

psst. call me. ;-)

Mulot's avatar

I agree with kevbo, if you wanna have some time for you, alone, why even take your cell phone . I mean, if your boyfriend/girlfriend cannot understand that you need sometimes to have a little break, I don’t see what you are together, if you even don’t respect your lover choices.

Les's avatar

Sweet Jesus, it would drive me crazy to have my phone ring every night, let alone multiple times a night. Turn your phone off! Take a break from the world! It is wonderful, let me tell you. I have gone since August 31 without a cell phone, and I won’t get one back until November 15. It is pure bliss. Do it for a night, you’ll be happy you did.

tinyfaery's avatar

Well, I’m married; that’s a bit different. We have a lot of time to ourselves at home, since she works days and I work in the evening/night. But, we do talk and text multiple times a day, just to say I miss you, or we need toothpaste. I wish I had more time with her. No matter what I am doing, I always wish she was there with me. But we have been accused of being one of those couples that does everything together; when we have the time together, we do not waste it taking “time for ourselves”. Do I expect her to answer? No. But I expect her to get back to me. If I don’t hear from her for awhile I get paranoid that something bad happened to her. But that’s my own personal anxiety.

Nimis's avatar

I hate cell phones and the expectation of perpetual availability.
Significant other or not.

augustlan's avatar

I think if you want time to yourself, you should let him know in advance that you’ll be doing it. It would just be considerate.

Randy's avatar

Space is important in any relationship.

JackAdams's avatar

I’ve been in a few committed relationships, and have loved all of them.

In fact, there are some folks who seriously believe that I should be committed right now. But, be that as it may…

In any relationship I am in, if my lady wishes to get in touch with me, for any reason or at any hour, she knows that I am always as close as the next pillow.

winblowzxp's avatar

I’ve been in a relationship where she’d call every night, it got a bit tedious, especially if I was really tired, or just wanted to be left alone.

In any realationship even marriage, in my opinion, you still need a little ‘me’ time inbetwixt the ‘we’ time. If he gets upset, tell him the truth; that all you wanted to do is have a quiet night to yourself and didn’t want to be bothered. Then you can treat him to a very sexy night…bananas, whipped cream, hot fudge, maybe some caramel, and top it all off with cherries…

JackAdams's avatar

Don’t forget the whips, and the fake-fur-lined handcuffs!

PredatorGanazX's avatar

I believe anwering calls is a strain and should never be the rules for a relationship.

However a short text message will be fine if your partner wanted to know that you are already safe arrive home and stuff like that.

Meeage read “I am ok safe and sound” now to compose that will take under one minute and best of all no stress nor strain involve.

winblowzxp's avatar

I was talking about banana splits, perv…but it’s kinda funny, though

girlofscience's avatar

It sounds fine to turn off your phone for a night, as long as you inform your s/o at some point beforehand! I think the concept of turning it off is fine, but I also think it would be rude to do so without informing the other person in advance. Some people have a tendency to worry (as in, legitimately worry about your welfare!). You don’t want your love worried you got in a terrible car accident because your phone is off.

flameboi's avatar

I’m with kevbo, sometimes you just can’t or don’t want answer the phone, not because you don’t like the person, sometimes you just want to be by yourself, that’s it, if there is pressure with the phonecalls issue, get out of that relationship as soon as you can…

tWrex's avatar

Ahoy! Me thinks that @girlofscience put it bets, yaargh. Ye have to let yer partner know before ye do something like that, or yer shipmate may worry.

cwilbur's avatar

No, I don’t. And anyone who expects me to be instantly reachable at any time is not someone I’m going to be in a relationship with for very long.

tWrex's avatar

@cwilbur Would that be changin’ if ye was married? Or had little tikes? Or are ye married? I don’t know ye, so I don’t know ye situation. =)

cwilbur's avatar

If I had children, it might be different, for practical purposes. Other than that, no.

JackAdams's avatar

I really do WANT to be reachable, 24/7 by a S/O, because what if an emergency situation occurred?

I got a call one night from a hosptial, asking me to contact this girl who was a friend of mine, because her BF had been seriously injured in a car accident and was now in the ER at that hospital.

I rushed over to her house (at 3 AM!) and banged on her door and rang her doorbell repeatedly, to wake her up.

When she finally saw it was me (and demanded to know why I was there), I told her what had happened to her BF, and I rushed her to the hospital.

She vowed to never turn her cell phone off, ever again.

marinelife's avatar

Good heavens, no. It’s a relationship, not a leash.

tWrex's avatar

Yaargh, if that’s how ye be feelin’ about yer relationship, then ye’re feelings o’ being trapped have far more to do with other things than a cell phone being on so yer loved ones can reach ye.

scamp's avatar

I’m not reachable 24/7 to anyone. A girl has to have her space! ok, I lied. My daughter can reach me anytime, but only her!

PredatorGanazX's avatar

You got a point there Scamp but let me ask you this how much space that a girl needs ? A week of no communication ? Is that what you called space?

cyndyh's avatar

I have to go with the folks who said they’d let their SO know ahead of time if they weren’t going to be reachable. If you find yourself avoiding calls from your SO or if you find yourself always calling someone who’s avoiding you, there’s something wrong in that relationship.

YARNLADY's avatar

For the most part, yes. I would expect that. However, there is some leeway, when either partner asks for some privacy for a certain, specified (one night/day)period of time. To just turn it off with no warning or discussion would be wrong.

lady4life's avatar

I think everyone should respect each other privacy issues..sometimes you need to take a break..time-out..I really think that should be respected..now if you are married..that may cause some problems

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