General Question

EnzoX24's avatar

How do I handle this situation in school?

Asked by EnzoX24 (1981 points ) November 18th, 2008

I’ve stopped going to my psych class. I have it three days a week, MWF, and I can’t stomach it anymore.

For most of life I’ve fought with what I can only assume is extreme paranoia. Having the constant notion that friends hate me, family hates me, pretty much the world is against. When times are great I some how find a way to crash them down. Like a part of me wont let me be happy. Sometimes I hear a voice, my own, telling me things are bad.

I met my girlfriend almost two years ago. She spent the first year helping me with it. It wasn’t easy. Along the whole way, that voice kept telling me to leave her. I started fights for no reason, almost looking for a way of the most functional relationship I’ve ever had, because I couldn’t let myself be happy.

Almost a year ago to this day all those thoughts and feelings finally went away. The past year has been the happiest of my life. I owe my girlfriend everything, and I don’t think I tell her that enough.

In September I started college and got hit with a psychology class. Everything was fine at first, but the deeper we got into it, I started to remember everything I had been through. Suddenly I could feel everything I spent 10 years trying to suppress was coming back. So I stopped going. Things finally started going back to normal and I was beginning to worry about my grade in the class. Last Friday I forced myself to go. What a day to pick, it was the beginning of mental disorders. Every delusion I’ve had, every friend I’ve thrown away, made their way back into my mind. It was 50 minutes of agony, a reminder of the way I was, still am deep down. At the end of the class I felt sick.

I don’t feel like I can go back. I don’t know what to do. The only person who knows this about me is my girlfriend. I was never able to make it all go away, but I got damn god at hiding it from everyone. I can’t let that part of my life come back again, I spent too long to make it go away, but I can’t keep ditching class like this. Not my first year of college. I am completely lost on what to do.

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17 Answers

PupnTaco's avatar

Counseling.

shilolo's avatar

You need to seek the help of a mental health professional (i.e. a psychiatrist). The story you tell warrants further investigation and treatment (not necessarily with medicines, but perhaps with psychotherapy, though meds are an option).

Also, I suggest you try to speak with your teacher regarding the class. I think (s)he would understand (given that (s)he teaches psychology, after all). Perhaps you can drop the class, if it is not too late, or figure out some other solution. But first, you need professional help, as soon as possible.

EnzoX24's avatar

I’d rather not deal with counseling. I’m the only one in my family who hasn’t seen a shrink. I like to think of it as my last way to hold onto my sanity haha.

I do know my mom suffers from the same thing, and is on medication for it.

I don’t really want to talk to anyone about it. It took me an hour to write that post. I didn’t want to finish it. I haven’t even told my girlfriend these feelings are back.

I want to talk to my teacher, but I don’t know how.

augustlan's avatar

You really need to re-evaluate your stance on counseling. I can certainly understand your resistance, but it is not in your best interests to stubbornly hold on to it. There is no shame in getting professional help. Please see someone about this. I’m not sure what you should do about the class itself, but I am sure that counseling will help you through this, and improve the rest of your life. Take care.

shilolo's avatar

As a doctor, I can tell you that psychiatrists are not “shrinks”. You clearly have a family history of something. Eventually, you wont be able to control these thoughts by force of will alone. Trust me, you’ll be better off in the long run if you seek professional help.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

Find out if you can drop the class. That would be my first move.

If the deadline is passed, you might still be able to by filing some kind of special petition with either the professor or the Dean of students or someone along those lines.

I dropped a class last year by petitioning the dean. You may have to go to a few counseling sessions to be able to prove that your problem with the class is truly causing you psychological problems, and it’s not just that you’re afraid you’ll make a bad grade.

I would look in your general announcements to find out (a) when the deadline is and (b) how to drop the class if it’s passed.

If you can’t drop it, make an appointment to see the prof, and talk to him/her about what’s going on. Try to be as honest as possible, I know that’s probably not going to be very easy because it’s very personal, but he/she may cut you some slack so you don’t fail it. Of all people, one would hope someone with a PhD in psychology would understand.

queenzboulevard's avatar

Even Tony Soprano saw a shrink, and he was the bomb. Most people didn’t know, so maybe you could keep it a secret.

tiggersmom's avatar

Reading all this stuff, you are dealing and trying to cope with a lot of emotional garbage that came from somewhere, and you really need to find a way to positively release these anxieties so that you can feel better about yourself, and about everything you deal with in your life.
I strongly suggest that you rethink a therapist about this condition, it sounds like you know what is going on, and you know what happened to other people in your family, but that doesn’t mean that this is the same course that a therapist will put you on, you are a totally different person.
They won’t be talking to anyone else, this is a vital factor in treatments with patients. There is under no circumstances any way that they will talk to anyone else about it. Unless of course you were to confess to something illegal, then they would have to report that.
I wish you all the luck in the world, and for your relationship, I think you should talk to her, and maybe she could help you find someone to talk with about all of this. God Bless.

babygalll's avatar

Get some counseling..take to someone professional. If you are in college it should be free on campus. It’s free at my school. Sometimes it’s easier to take to a stranger then it is to talk to a friend or a parent. They are their to help you. They are also students, so they know what you are going through. Try to get back on track and get back to your class. Classes are almost over and you have gotten this far. Also, talk to your teacher. Let them know you are having a hard time. They should be understanding and give you some grace if you have missed assignments. Just don’t keep it bottled up. It’s not good. Good luck.

EnzoX24's avatar

I just don’t even know how to approach my teacher about this. And I’m afraid she will think I made all of this up as an excuse for skipping class.

chicadelplaya's avatar

If you schedule a time to go in and talk with her in person, I seriously doubt it. It takes a lot for someone to sit down and share this kind of personal information and she will know this. This isn’t something someone fabricates just to miss a class.

babygalll's avatar

Serious students take the time to make an appointment to talk to their teachers, so she will not think that at all. If students are there to screw around they aren’t going to take the time to talk to the teacher. This is college you are there by choice. Teachers take these things seriously and want to help you. Teachers are there, because they want to see people succeed. Not fail. If you are reaching out they will lend a helping hand. The last thing she is going to do is laugh in your face. Believe me teachers know who the serious students are. Email her (the sooner the better) tell her you would like to make an appointment to talk about some personal issues you are going through. Don’t be afraid. They are there to help.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

@Enzo, You have to talk with your professor. Start by sending her an e-mail, copy and paste what you put in your fluther question into the e-mail, and ask for an appointment to see her. Freshmen seem to have such a hard time with doing this, but as soon as you can get used to doing it, ownership of your education follows. Learning is a partnership experience between you and the instructor.

The problem you are having aren’t going to go away by ignoring it. You have to address it, both on the immediate class level, and in terms of the bigger picture, even if it’s just to learn coping skills, and how to manage triggered episodes.

Babygalll is 100% correct with her advice.

bythebay's avatar

@Enzo: Babygall & Alfreda are spot on with their great advice, take it and empower yourself and your professor. I would also add that by doing so you will not only take ownership of your education but also of your life. You are obviously intelligent and willing to do the work it takes to feel better about yourself and your limitations…don’t stop now…keep moving in a positive direction.

jessturtle23's avatar

You should really talk to someone, even if it is just a good friend. If you allow yourself to just give up on things when they become too emotional to deal with it’s only going to make things worse for you and you are going to dig a hole even deeper for yourself. Just about everyone who takes that class feels they can relate to it a little too much. Most of my friends that I grew up with that were bi-polar and borderline actually went into psychology.

tocutetolive90's avatar

Hey sweetie. I found your question while reading through questions on my down time in school. I’m gonna try to call you after lab and we can talk. I’m gonna help you the best i can sweetie. I will go with you to the teacther so you can explain this too her if you need need me too. I will try to help you make all these feelings go away again. I know it was hard the first time, but im whiling to do it again cause I love you so much. We can make it through this and your gonna be ok in college and If you need help i will help you find help and go with you if you want me too. Dont worrie sweetie. Its gonna be ok, as long as we work on this together. I love you so much!!

Foolaholic's avatar

Based on what you’ve told us, I don’t any reason that you’re teacher should get mad at you for making a decision to skip like that. I mean, you look like you’ve got all the evidence you need to prove that this is a genetic disorder, and if you’re teacher still holds resentment against you for it, than she’s not really someone who should be allowed to teach or influence students.

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