Whats the funniest joke ever?
Asked by
Warlax (
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)
December 2nd, 2008
Just wondered what the funniest joke EVER is :)
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32 Answers
Impossible to answer – each person’s sense of humour varies.
Personally I love dark and grim humour. Dead baby jokes always get a chuckle out of me, partially because they’re SO outlandish, unrealistic and offensive.
Another one of my top favorites is Andy Kaufman’s routine where he reads the audience The Great Gatsby. Then again I love all of his work.
What’s the difference between a child and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton never let a bag of cocaine fall out the window
A pirate walks into a bar and he’s got a steering wheel hanging around his man bits and the bartender says to him,” Hey man, you know you got a steering wheel hanging off your junk and the pirate says, “arrrr. It’s driving me
nuts!”
How do you make a dead baby float?
One dead baby, two scoops of icecream, and some rootbeer.
What’s the difference between Harriet Tubman and the Red Hot Chili Peppers?
Harriet Tubman was a heroine to slaves and the Red Hot Chili Peppers are slaves to heroine.
what did santa sy when his sled was all set up with the deers and one fell over? ... “oh no a flat.”
Have you heard the news about Corduroy Pillows?
They’re making headlines!
Ask AstroChuck. He’s got some winners tucked away.
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “hey we got a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says, “you got a drink named Steve?”
I like really cheesy jokes. They’re not too funny, but they make me chuckle. (See second joke below.)
Q: What do you get when you cross a CPU and an IUD?
A: A computer that can’t multiply.
Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin?
A: OMG! A talking muffin.
Q: What do you have when you cross a computer and a nun?
A: A machine that won’t go down on you.
I thought of another one
So there I am at the ATM and there’s this real old woman in front of me. She’s obviously having trouble with the machine so I offer to help her. She asks if I’ll help her check her balance….. so I push her over!
ba bap ba bu ba ba
What’s brown and sticky….
A stick
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing you haven’t already told her twice.
@bodyhead, That first one was just obscene…. yet it made me laugh, am i a bad person?
A lot of times, the most obscene jokes are the funniest. I wouldn’t worry too much. They’re only words. Sometimes smart people are seen as bad people. Pat yourself on the back. Don’t lament your laughter impulse.
what do you get when you squeeze a synagogue?
JEWS!!! (Like juice… but not…)
hahaha oh Jewish humor….
George W. Bush winning a second term…
Btw bodyhead that joke was great, mean, but hilarious! Got anymore?
A guy walks into a bar and says “Ow.”
“A stick” and “JEWS!!!” both got GAs from me because they actually made me laugh out loud. XD
My favorite joke of all time is:
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
You must say it with conviction.
Why don’t rabbits make noise while having sex?
Because they have cotton balls
it’s all in the delivery. makes me giggle every time!
What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre
shadling21: I love dumb jokes. The kind that are so ridiculous and stupid that they’re funny. Or the kind that aren’t funny at all but make you laugh cause they’re cute.
what did the 0 say to the 8?
…nice belt
If you put a belt around a zero and tightened it, the sides would go in a bit and you’d have an eight.
@jessturtle, i will never forget that joke ever, because my friend’s mother randomly came into her room while i was sleeping over and told us that. most awkward moment ever. it was pretty funny though haha
An octopus walks into a bar and says that it can play any musical instrument.
An Englishman leads it to a piano whereupon it plays better than Elton John.
An Irishman gives it a guitar which it plays better than Jimmi Hendrix.
A Scotsman gives some bagpipes to the octopus and after a lot a wrestling and struggling, not one note of music had been heard.
‘Can’t you play the bagpipes?’ asks the Scotsman.
‘Play her? I’m going to s*** her as soon as I have got her pyjamas off!”
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