General Question

trumi's avatar

Have any of you ever been in/considered a threeway relationship?

Asked by trumi (6448 points ) February 4th, 2009

ie Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

I think time has proven that a “couple” relationship is the deepest love, and is of course seen as much more traditional, but at the same time I have no problems with consensual polygamy. I don’t think I could ever maintain such a relationship and am usually quite happy with just one SO. But maybe in same cases three people could balance each other out and lead to a loving relationship?

This could be an all out union of the three, or maybe a relationship between two and a consistent third wheel? ie Sophie’s Choice. Have you ever been in a relationship like this, or wondered about it?

I’m not asking about the type of misogynistic pologamy observed in some cultures, though you can comment upon those if you want. I am also not asking about purely sexual threeways, but actual relationships. If you wish to discuss threesomes, I suggest you PM Daloon :P

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41 Answers

jonsblond's avatar

I’ll PM daloon and then not get back to you ;)

AstroChuck's avatar

Yes. My left hand, my right, and, of course, myself.

steve6's avatar

When I was young I had a relationship with two best friends (Japanese/American girls) but it turned out they were more into each other and ‘exotic fruits’ than they were me but it was fun while it lasted.

jonsblond's avatar

@AstroChuck I think it’s kind of hard to take a young boy and a snowman serious on questions like this. :)

AstroChuck's avatar

You said it’s kind of hard.

jonsblond's avatar

you make me melt

steve6's avatar

you guys crack me up, oh, I said crack

jonsblond's avatar

LOL, can’t quit laughing guys!

steve6's avatar

a young boy and a snowman, would that be a cold, short-lived relationship or a spring-winter love affair?

steve6's avatar

that’s disgusting, someone needs to moderate me. My apologies to the group, I did however enjoy my two Japanese lovers.

jonsblond's avatar

@steve6 Sorry, but if would be a three-way. Must include blondesjon.

Back to the question. Anyone?

steve6's avatar

Were you in the Tampa area?

jonsblond's avatar

@steve6 Nice change of subject. ;)

kevbo's avatar

A vicarious answer (sorry), but I had a lesbian friend who was in a relationship with two other women, plus they had adopted at least one son (or maybe it was biologically one of the mothers). Their sex, I was told, was round robin and took forever. Also, they rotated one-on-one date nights. She seemed happy enough for the time that I knew her while she was in the relationship, which was around a year.

steve6's avatar

What is round robin sex? Like a tennis tourny? Mixed doubles?

AstroChuck's avatar

Was it single or double elimination round robin?

kevbo's avatar

A & B give it to C. B & C give it to A. A & C give it to B.

@AstroChuck, I have no idea, but I imagine single elimination for the sake of time.

AstroChuck's avatar

Wow! God, I love sports!

steve6's avatar

It doesn’t sound boring, oh, I said boring.

jonsblond's avatar

@steve6 I must ask. Was it sideways?

Oh, come on! If I didn’t ask, blondesjon would. He’s missing a good one.

steve6's avatar

The membranes are black/purple like the inside of a chow’s mouth, not pink. Strangely exciting.

jonsblond's avatar

Again, can’t quit laughing.

steve6's avatar

You have to picture these two beautiful Asian women kissing and exchanging smoke in an opium den. Marvelous!

aprilsimnel's avatar

I personally have never considered a threeway. But I witnessed one. Sort of.

My first-year college roommate had a threeway… FWB situation… we didn’t call those that back in ‘87… anyway. It was her, another girl and a guy. Those two never hung out with her as her friends during the day, only for booty calls.

I only found out about it when I came back late from studying one night that autumn, opened the door to the dorm room and they there were on the floor panting and bubbling and squeaking and whatever. I ended up falling asleep in the hallway. A short while later, my RA found me and asked what was going on, but she didn’t have the stones to go in and break it up.

She had her FWBs over at least 9 or 10 more times over the course of the school year, and when I called her on her behavior, she accused me and the RA of being uptight prigs and said she was paying for the room, so she could do as she liked in it. I didn’t care what she did, the room was 20×15 and had no dividers! Why she didn’t get tossed out I have no idea, and supposedly there was no room for me anywhere else in the whole dorm system. Whatever. I got dibs on the beautiful single corner room overlooking the lake and wooded path for the next school year AND paid the same price as if I were sharing.

steve6's avatar

FWB? Friends with booties? Sorry, I’m internet illiterate.

Nimis's avatar

Friends With Benefits…but seeing as how they never
hung out with her as friends, you could probably
just shorten that to BCs (Booty Calls).

loser's avatar

I was in a 3 way relationship for about 6 months once. Then jealousy really screwed that up.

jellyfish's avatar

First seriously considered answer is above – very tricky emotionally – someone is going to feel left out – sounds like a high drama scenario after the first flush of novelty has worn off – why do people choose such complicated things when one other person is hard – how do you all remain reasonable re jelousy?? Is this all in the same household idea – won’t three be as ordinary as two in time??

steve6's avatar

I’ve been in love with several different women at the same time on quite a few occasions. Looking back, those were some of the happiest times of my life. I think it had something to do with my ego being erected for the first time. Before that I had self doubt and lack of confidence. After that, I never worried about being nervous around women, I felt invincible. The self confidence made it that much easier to score. I wasn’t afraid to approach any woman, no matter how beautiful they were.

wundayatta's avatar

Did I see my name taken in vain? Oh, I said vein!

DrBill's avatar

In younger days there were the Carr Twins…

asmonet's avatar

I think you mean polyamorous relationships, not polygamy.

And no, I don’t think they last long. There is however always the exception to the rule.

ronski's avatar

So…I have been in a threeway relationship and liked it at the time. It wasn’t necessarily just sexual. It was like we evened one another out. It just happened. But jealousy and weirdness ensued. I was young, 18, and I wasn’t happy with having to make two guys happy at all. I got jealous of them too, and what really busted the whole thing up was that I didn’t like hanging out with them separately, so I broke it off. Maybe if I could have retained relationships with each on their own, I would have liked it, but since I couldn’t I just started to think the whole thing was looney and too stressful. It was too bad, because they were both really beautiful physically :)

fakecat66's avatar

i think polyamorous relationships have their place but when it comes to 3 equal shares in a relationship in my observation someone undoubtedly becomes…the third wheel.

DrBill's avatar

Even with the Carr twins, jealousy was a major problem. Each of them thought they were on the short end.

Noel_S_Leitmotiv's avatar

Been there, done that.

Xilas's avatar

@DrBill maybe they were on the short-in.. you cant help your genetics

ZING!

sry…

strange1's avatar

yes when i met my now wife, after being dumped, my ex got all jelous and tried to get back, i was working on nights then so i had my ex visiting in the morning and my wife in the afternoon—phew—this went on for three weeks till my wife found out meow in a way i was glad talk about burning your wick at both ends!

AnonymousWoman's avatar

I’ve never been in a relationship like that, but I’ve thought about it…

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Yes. I’m not in a state of mind to describe it in detail. It worked very well for almost 15 years and ended only with the death of the “central” partner. The basic setup:

A, B and C. A= bisexual lady, B= lesbian lady, C= straight guy. A and B lovers, known each other since childhood. A and C meet later. All parties aware of and approve of the relationships. B and C become close friends. A and C marry. All live together. Physical combinations: A+B, A+C, (B and C)+A, (A+C)+B. B and C having close physical contact but rarely sexual relations and only with A involved.

There was never any jealousy or fighting. The central and dominant partner in the relationship was A.

Economically, C and A brought in the monetary income, B maintaining the household and properties. By profession: A= psychological counselor and graphic artist, B= scuptor and farmer, C= engineer/historian and reserve army officer.

Current status: B= property manager/sculptor/farmer, C= living in a small cabin in the north woods about 150 miles away.

I’m sorry if I describe this in almost mathematical terms, it’s all that I’m capable of now. It was a warm and satisfying relationship for all involved.

prolificus's avatar

I’ve thought about being in such a relationship, but I wouldn’t get the consent of the people hypothetically involved. I’m a very loving person, capable of experiencing profound intimacy with more than one person at a time. However, I wouldn’t be able to thrive in such a relationship because I am the jealous type! I need to have and receive undivided attention when it comes to marital intimacy.

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