General Question

Jude's avatar

How do you know when you're ready to date again?

Asked by Jude (32198points) February 6th, 2009

A friend and I were talking about this. After you had broken up with someone (that you truly loved), how did you know that you were ready to start dating again? And, that you truly weren’t just wanting to fill that ‘void’ or that space in your heart that your ex once filled? And, if you still have feelings for your ex (despite the fact that more than likely you’ll never get back together), I’m guessing the answer is “no, you shouldn’t be dating, then”, right?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

12 Answers

nmguy_'s avatar

I’ve heard that you need one year off for every year of the relationship.

GAMBIT's avatar

When you meet him or her and you get that funny feeling. You will know it is time.

cookieman's avatar

When the restraining order has been lifted.

marinelife's avatar

I think you can still have some feelings—which may be hurt, anger or some form of love—for your ex, and be ready for dating.

But you are no longer mostly focused on the the ex and the break-up; you are starting to think about you life and your future. You look around and see interesting people.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Previously.

jmah, I still think Jeruba’s answer from that conversation was the best! I’m also thinking that if you’re asking more than twice in one week, you’re probably close to the point of at least looking around! Good luck and go get ‘em!

Kiev749's avatar

I was told .5x length of relationship.

onesecondregrets's avatar

When you can be conscious of your feelings towards dating again. As in, when you don’t have to deny that you want to date just because you’re lonely and want to fill that “void.” Or when you find it within yourself to get past that point- it’s not a feeling you’ll look over. You’ll know it, and feel it when you are truly ready to be with someone again. Mostly, I would suggest when any pain heals (from your last relationship), when your head is clear regarding your last relationship and your life currently, and when you realize you need someone to compliment you, not save you from anything.

cschack's avatar

Around the time when you can look at the other person and not see your ex in his/her face.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

I’ve been told it’s 3/4 the length of the relationship, but I don’t know if I believe that. I dated someone for 2 years, and didn’t need a year and a half before starting again. In fact, getting out there was part of the coping process for me. It’s all a personal thing; I think the best indication is when you find yourself making the effort to be noticed or you are actively noticing others. You’ll know when.

Trustinglife's avatar

@TitsMcGhee Tits is back!

@Onesecondregrets Just for fun: it’s great to have someone to compliment you, as well as complement you!!

TitsMcGhee's avatar

@Trustinglife: Tits is in college and had lots of work, but yes, Tits is back :) Thanks for noticing!

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther