Are you picky about the people you befriend?
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Facade (
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March 26th, 2009
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On Fluther? In the world? Adding context in the Details section of your question can really benefit the discussion.
In a word, though, yes.
Yes. Stability is always good. People who bring tons ‘o drama and proceed to suck the life out of you need not apply. Usually they are smart, funny and kind-hearted.
@Knotmyday nope. some people just like to gather friends for the sake of having them
@jmah So you need stable friends?
@Facade after having dealt with some of the people that I have had in my life, it would be nice.
Very much so.
In grade school, I had very few friends. Then in high school and college I had oodles of friends. From one extreme to the next.
When I turned thirty (eight years ago) I realized I would be better served to devote most of my energy to a small handful of people. I have done a pretty good job of eliminating of marginalizing the drama queens, ignorant and negative people. This includes family.
If I can go through life with five true friends (which includes my wife and daughter), I’ll be thrilled.
Yes. But then, I have a higher standard of being close to someone before I call them a friend than most people do. I have lots of acquaintances I’m not really close to, who I would probably hesitate before calling friends. It’s not that I don’t like them—I do, I’m just not close to them, wouldn’t call them to cry on their shoulder, etc. For those things, I only have a few people I really depend on. But they’re great and they’ve really treated me well and rewarded the trust and time I’ve put into them.
@cprevite sounds like a good idea. I think the best friends come along when you’re older (30–40)
My friendship with someone isn’t only up to me. I usually try to get along with relatively anyone. Whether we become friends or not is only influenced slightly by me being picky. However, if it is left solely up to my feelings at the point of befriending, I would rarely end up with new friends. That’s not always a bad thing…as I remember reading somewhere:
“A man with many friends comes to ruin, but a single friend will last a lifetime”.
A person can stick to their ‘pickiness’ in person better than they can on the internet. 99% of my friends who I have in real life, I’ve known for years & years.
The friends I’ve made on another web site are just as loved by me as they are. Some have issues going on. (I have not connected with anyone here to be a friend to) Hell, I have issues at times, too. It doesn’t make me think any less of them. I would gladly live close by to any of them. But there are some who I stay away from, too, for various reasons. So yes, I AM picky about who I hang out with.
Very. Both online and in meat space.
@Sr_Q “Meat space.” What a charming term.~
I’m open to give anyone a shot, regardless of whether or not they fit my “social clique” or whatever you’d like to call it. And I’m really glad I do because it helps all of us get a broader perspective on a lot of things. We all kind of bring different things to the table. The only things I’m really picky about are the core values of a friendship, I’m very trusting until I catch someone breaking it, respect for yourself and those around you is very important to me also.
They have to like video games and weed, then they are good in my books
@EmpressPixie I’m the same way. I can probably say I have one friend, my best friend. The rest are just people I know/ went to school with. People throw the term “friend” around too loosely.
@gambitking So you’re friends with people you don’t want to be friends with?
In the real world, I have a very close circle of friends, it’s not huge and I like it that way. A few of those friends, I’ve know for well over twenty years.
Online, I’ve met many people that I enjoy and have been very lucky to be able to call some of them friends. .
There’s acquaintances and there’s friends. I have many acquaintances and few friends. Acquaintances are people I can hang out and have fun with every so often. Friends are, for me, a family that I choose, and we have been able to show as time passes that we can rely upon and love each other regardless of our quirks and flaws.
@Facade No I don’t befriend people if I don’t want to remain friends with them. I’m just saying it isn’t all up to me. Friendship requires the mutual fondess of company from both parties. But if it is entirely up to me, then I get picky and probably won’t choose to initiate many friendships
Oh yes, Im extremely picky and really hard to get to know. I analize a person very carefully before I befriend him or her. It takes weeks before I can consider someone a “friend”. I do this because I’ve been hurt before my so-called friends, and I wont make the same mistake.
I think this helps both me and the person in question. It gives that person a chance to get to know me too. If that person doesnt like me, he or she can walk away and no one gets dissapointed.
Not at all. I am more than willing to be friends with anyone who wants to be friends with me :D
@jbfletcherfan hi, friend! See, that’s one of the cool people that I’ve met and call a friend!
In an online social site like this: I pick who is interesting to me to read or interact with
In “meat space”: A friend is more than an acquaintance
I have never heard “meat space” before this thread. It’s my new thing I learned today!
I call a lot of people friends who probably don’t feel the same way. I wear my heart on my sleeve and like most everybody at first. If they don’t like me as much as I like them, that’s ok. If I’m “throwing the term around” too easily, I’m ok with that too.
My door is open. The invitation to come inside is always there.
@cak I agree. We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we?
That’s what makes a friend. You don’t have to be in close proximity with someone to feel close to them. When you bond in your heart, that’s a friend.
@cak Awww, I know you would, honey. Come here…(((CAK))) :-)
if they are ridiculously cool like me then how could i NOT be friends with them?
if they were like some of YOU tho….
haha. just kidding!
…....or am i?
Nope, not at all. Everyone has some parts of their personality that may be interesting. Of course a real friend has to be at least close to my own personality, and certainly moral, but so far I’ve been friendly with people that take drugs, are violent, stupid, lazy, and all sorts of other things, including a racist and a paedophile (yes, I saw you all flinch there). The racist is quite an intelligent guy and a great cook, though of course I can’t talk politics with him. The paedophile is extremely funny, except he doesn’t get why it’s wrong to have sex with young boys. He’s spent years trying to persuade cops and courts that it’s normal and he should be allowed to do it.
And I married a priest’s daughter who was a lot worse than both of those guys put together. So much for picking.
I’ll befriend anybody (talking RL here). Maybe that’s why I have almost no friends?
@daloon Hey, what am I? Chopped liver???
RL=real life=physical presence
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