Are you more likely to get persecuted if you're bisexual than gay?

You are more likely to be assumed promiscuous or slutty if you are bisexual.

A lot of the gay people I’ve known didn’t like bi-sexuals at all.
So yes bi-sexuals will get flak from intolerant straight people as well as intolerant gay people.

@The_Compassionate_Heretic
Really why was that? All the gay people I know couldn’t care less.

@inthewinds They felt bisexuals were lying to themselves and refused to make a decision. These folks didn’t believe that a person could love a man and a woman.

I know gay people that don’t like bisexuals, just like what @The_Compassionate_Heretic said.
wow @The_Compassionate_Heretic beat me to it! Gahhh!

In my experience, there are two kinds of bi-folk. There are the kind, like me, who are monogamous at heart but have the potential to be attracted to M/F/other individuals. Then there are those like my ex-GF, who feel that because they’re bi, they get to have simultaneous relationships with “one of each” to fulfill their “needs.”

My guess is that the second group is the kind being referred to as “greedy.”

Now, as far as persecution goes, I’m not so sure. Yeah, there are straight folks and closeted queer folk who are going to hate bi folk as well as gay, and gay folks who are going to hate bisexuals for not “picking a side.” But very often, bi people couple up with opposite gender mates, giving them a kind of “cover” in the world that gay people just don’t have. (“Hetero Privilege.”) As such, they escape a lot of the persecution that gay people have heaped on them as a daily event.

First of all, Laureth, you’re awesome!
I find that most bi’s are totally misunderstood so the greater the misunderstanding, the great the chance for prejudice. It’s sad, really, since I believe we were we all born somewhat bi.

@loser can you please elaborate on how you believe “we were all born somewhat bi?”

You are gay if you’re bisexual.

Yes and no.. there is definitely a climate of mistrust in the gay world toward bisexuals. There are those that don’t get the “not picking a side” part, others only partly identify with bis and are grossed out/not understanding when the bi person is attracted to the opposite sex.

I think it’s more acceptable in the straight world to be bi, but with the same types of homophobia toward the males, and the assumption that the girls are sluts. However, as laureth pointed out, they can pass as straight when they’re in a hetero couple, thereby avoiding some of the judgement.

Really, this kind of thing, I think it boils down to not being able to understand the other person’s paradigm (why or how it’s possible to be attracted to both, etc.)

It’s harder for people (straight and gay) to understand being bisexual. Even homophobic straight people can understand being gay, but have a much harder time wrapping their head around bisexuals. And gay people tend to distrust bisexuals, usually because they’re afraid they’ll date one and he/she will turn out to actually be straight, and leave them. I think that’s ridiculous – I think your lesbian girlfriend is just as likely to leave you for another woman as your bi girlfriend is to leave you for a guy!

It all comes down to not being able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Augmented with just plain ignorance. I think that it’ll get better and better as our society becomes more tolerant (Think racism! At least it’s not legislated anymore, right?) – but it’s a long road.

Also – I think you’re saying you’re bisexual but your mom is assuming you’re gay? Try warming her up to the idea by talking about bi issues… I think if she’s all that liberal she’ll be able to warm up to the idea, at which point you might feel more comfortable coming out to her. Try explaining it like you’re gender-blind, so really it’s more like non-discrimination rather than greed!

@AlenaD
“I think it’s more acceptable in the straight world to be bi”
Many of my friends who think being gay is ok, think being bi is wrong. If I was gay less would care.

Well, I dont’ know if they are more likely to be persecuted, but they are more likely to get laid. I dunno… my husband loves bi women! I think bi men are more likely to be persecuted against than bi women.

@simone54 you are incorrect.

@simone54 – Would you care to explain to my husband how I, a bisexual woman, am really a lesbian? I suspect he will beg to differ. ;)

@laureth haha

@Laureth got it right. Just because a person is bisexual, that doesn’t mean they are being greedy sluts. I am in a monogamous relationship with a bisexual woman, and I am a bisexual man. Sexuality is a matter of degrees, not either/or. Nothing in life is purely black and white, not even zebras.

People who suffer from the mistaken belief that bisexuals need to just choose, especially the gay folks that feel that way, are using the same argument as the homophobic straights, which is pretty goddamn ironic, if you ask me.

My preference changes from day to day, but on average I am probably 75–25 female to male attraction. I have a stronger drive towards women, but every once in awhile, I’ll see a guy that just melts my heart.

And the answer to your question is Yes.

I think that some bisexuals do experience discrimination from both the gay/lesbian world and the straight world…however, because in some ways SOME bisexuals can ‘pass’ off as straight, that affords them a privilege that SOME gay/lesbian people don’t have…and in some instances that makes a difference between life and death

You are more likely to be assumed promiscuous or slutty if you are bisexual.

I think @holden‘s perception about prejudices in our society is correct. I think that people who are considering getting involved with someone who is bisexual are sometimes (maybe even often) afraid that their partner requires a significant other of both sexes. They may also fear their partner will leave them for someone of another gender, so they have to be jealous of everyone, not just one gender.

We’ve had several questions here from people who are worried about getting involved with someone who is bisexual. Another concern may be that the person really isn’t bisexual, but is gay or straight, and eventually they will be dissatisfied sexually, and use that as an excuse to leave the relationship.

When people use labels to form an opinion about someone else, instead of using actual experience with that person, they tend to have more prejudices, it seems to me. Is “bisexual” a more fearsome label than “gay” or “straight” are? It could be. It might not be. I don’t think we can know unless we do a survey.

All right, I ran the numbers from the General Social Survey. I looked at the responses of gays, bis and hets for four questions I am putting in the percentages for “yes” answers:
1) IN LIFE, R HAS EVER BEEN HARRASSED ON JOB CUZ R WAS BELIEVED TO BE GAY/LES/BI

Yes: Gay: 41.3 Bi: 22.5 Het: 22.1

2) IN LAST 5 YRS, R HAS EVER BEEN HARRASSED ON JOB CUZ R WAS BELIEVED TO BE GAY/LES/BI

Yes: Gay: 72.6 Bi: 75.0 Het: 0.0

3) IN LIFE, R HAS EVER BEEN PREVENTED FROM MOVING CUZ LANDLORD BELIVED R WAS GAY/LES/BI

Yes: Gay: 5.2 Bi: 2.2 Het: 0

4) IN LIFE, R HAS EVER BEEN DENIED A JOB OR FIRED CUZ EMPLOYERS BELIEVED R WAS GAY/LES/BI

Yes: Gay: 26.6 Bi: 4.3 Het: 1.5

So on three questions, gays believed they were discriminated against more than bisexuals. On only one question (have you been harassed on the job in the last five years because you were believed to be gay or bisexual) did bisexuals say they experience more discrimination than gays. The answer to this question is belied by the similar question (have you been harassed on the job in all your life because you were believed to be gay or bisexual).

So, in conclusion, I’d say that you are less likely to be persecuted if you are bisexual than if you are gay.