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TominLasVegas's avatar

Can you think of some books that will never be written?

Asked by TominLasVegas (1224 points ) December 17th, 2009

I have a couple.

Making Marriage Work-by Tiger Woods

Hunting Safety:The Dos and Don’ts of Handling firearms in wooded areas-by Dick Cheney.

Successful Investing and its Rewards-by Bernard Madoff

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71 Answers

Poopy's avatar

How to become a Wiccan – by Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

How to save yourself for marriage by Paris Hilton

CMaz's avatar

Equestrian do’s and don’ts by Christopher Reeve.

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

How to romance,love a woman and treat her like a queen by OJ Simpson

TominLasVegas's avatar

@Chazmaz. Ok I laughed and I feel bad for doing it!

CMaz's avatar

@TominLasVegas – I feel the same way.

LexWordsmith's avatar

A Brief Compendium of German Philosophy

The Collected Wit of Idi Amin (Abridged Version), Vol. 92

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful by co-authors Rosie O’Donell and Susan Boyle
*with nude pix!

HumourMe's avatar

How To Solve The Global Financial Crisis In 5 Simple Steps by George W Bush.

How To Love God and Live a Fulfilled Christian Life by Richard Dawkins.

How To Talk Like A Black Person by Queen Elizabeth the Second.

75movies's avatar

How Awesome Is Heaven by Oral Roberts

TominLasVegas's avatar

Lose Weight Now,Ask Me How-Ralphie May

CMaz's avatar

@Pretty_Lilly – Now I have to… Lett.

LexWordsmith's avatar

Whoever commended my answer: You betcha!<grin>

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

The Kama Sutra revisited by Judge Judy with pix !!

75movies's avatar

Toning It Down and Staying Alive by Billy Mays

CMaz's avatar

The Art of Dicktation by John Bobbit.

75movies's avatar

How To Take A Punch by Rihanna

ragingloli's avatar

“Why I was wrong with Creationism” – Kent Hovind.

75movies's avatar

Counting Past Four by George W. Bush

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

Hunting knife buyer’s guide by OJ Simpson !

erichw1504's avatar

How to Live a Normal Life When Your Career Soars by Michael Jackson

Reacher's avatar

The Key to a Successful Marriage – By Tiger Woods

Vunessuh's avatar

How to Earn Your High School Diploma Instead of Spreading Your Legs To Get it by Paris Hilton.

erichw1504's avatar

Gloves by O.J. Simpson

erichw1504's avatar

How to be Funny by Carrot Top

75movies's avatar

Me, Jesus & a Whole Lot of Pussy by Ted Haggard

erichw1504's avatar

How to Make the Perfect Operating System by Microsoft

erichw1504's avatar

How to Make a Movie by Uwe Boll

ucme's avatar

Your child & pool parties a safety guide by Tommy Lee. The Jesus Diaries by J.H.Christ. How to drive your man wild in bed by Barbara Bush. The beginners guide to Alzhei…. what’s that I forgot what i was saying! by Ronald Reagan. My life as a speak & spell voice by Stephen Hawking. My penis in bondage by Dick (Chainy) Cheney.

CMaz's avatar

The Consumer Guide for Crack Pipes by Marion Barry.

erichw1504's avatar

How to Lose Weight by Homer Simpson

erichw1504's avatar

Say No to Drugs! by Lindsay Lohan

HumourMe's avatar

This is one of those questions which I could answer for days, SO many possibilities I think my head is gonna explode.

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

My Torrid love affair with Rosie O’Donell by Donald Trump

CMaz's avatar

@Pretty_Lilly – That is just F-uped.

Vunessuh's avatar

@Pretty_Lilly Actually, I’m keeping my eyes peeled for that one. I hope it’s a picture book. ;)

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

@Vunessuh I will be a scratch and sniff book!

ccrow's avatar

I think some of these suggestions are actually ‘books that should never be written’!!!

erichw1504's avatar

My Life as a Hobo – Bill Gates

ragingloli's avatar

The evils of sex with little boys – Catholic Priest

HumourMe's avatar

@75movies I think you mean Me, Jesus & a Whole lot of Cock by Ted Haggard.

Vunessuh's avatar

@Pretty_Lilly Dang really? Then all we have to do is follow the smell to the nearest book store.

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

@ragingloli I think that book was in the process of being ghost written by Michael Jackson before his death.

ragingloli's avatar

@Pretty_Lilly
we both know mj was innocent

Pandora's avatar

1.I love Americans, by terrorists.
2.How to sneak into America and fool everyone into thinking you are legal. By and illegal immigrant still faking citizenship.
3. How you can scam welfare and recieve several checks from several different states, by a former or current welfare scammer.
4. How to cheat on your wife and fool her by a current married cheater.
5. I’m really not gay, by Liberache.

whatthefluther's avatar

The Ancient Art of Self Bondage by David Carradine

janbb's avatar

How to Take Care of Your Parents in their Old Age by Lizzie Borden
How to Get Things Done by the United States Senate
How to Enjoy the Theatre by Abe Lincoln

Blondesjon's avatar

Staying Sober by Blondesjon

Wallflower by Blondesjon

Whatchu Talkin’ ‘Bout Willis? by Emanuel Lewis

PretentiousArtist's avatar

How to make good listenable music by Lady Gaga

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

“The Joy of Flying” by John F. Kennedy Jr.

75movies's avatar

@HumourMe No no no. He will write the one you speak of.

TexasDude's avatar

A Young Girl’s Menagerie of Venereal Horrors

Blondesjon's avatar

The Joy of Cooking by Jeffery Dahmer

Advanced Quantum Mechanics by Sarah Palin

Tolerance by Bill Maher and Bill O’Reily

75movies's avatar

My Dad Taught Me Everything I Needed To Know About Fisting by Laila Ali

Wait a second… I guess she could write this one.

CMaz's avatar

@75movies – Ouch!

HumourMe's avatar

@75movies Of course!!! ~smacks self on head~

Pandora's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Looks like you gave this one some thought. LOL
Good One.
@75movies , ewwweee. LOL, but I got it.
@janbb I love the second Book. I would buy that for a laugh. I thought that was the best answer yet. LMAO

danbambam's avatar

DanBamBam’s fun filled, most interesting, biography :)

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

Makeshift products to use in lieu of KY-Jelly by OJ Simpson

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

How to romance an African-American Woman by Tiger Woods

Blondesjon's avatar

My Giant Cock by Gloria Steinem with a foreward by Georgia O’Keefe.

TexasDude's avatar

@Blondesjon, I lol’d hard.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

How to Earn Respect by Rodney Dangerfield

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

How to seek higher education and become a Proctologist while in prison by OJ Simpson.

LexWordsmith's avatar

@erichw1504 : Glove, by Michael Jackson

LexWordsmith's avatar

If the glove don’t fit, i must be a hit!

Blondesjon's avatar

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Osama Bin Laden

Fight Club by Mahatma Gandhi

The Red Badge of Courage by George W. Bush foreward by William Jefferson Clinton

TominLasVegas's avatar

Living Incognito-The Gosselin Family with foreward by Heidi and Spencer Pratt

CMaz's avatar

Cocks and Knots by David Carradine

LexWordsmith's avatar

@LexWordsmith : Better would have been,
“If the glove do fit, i’ll be a hit.”

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