What have you learned from horror movies?
Asked by
TexasDude (
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)
December 17th, 2009
Most of us have seen horror movies and been exposed to certain notions presented therein. For instance, horror movies have taught me that everyone is Catholic, nobody knows how to shoot a gun, and having any sex (aside from in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation) leads to a guaranteed demise. What have horror movies taught you?
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There are no whores in them…generally.
Hm. Good question.
Oh! If a door is locked, it’s probably for a good reason. Don’t go busting in trying to be a hero. You’ll just end up dying.
Don’t have sex with the hot chick – you’re gonna die.
Don’t split up – you’re gonna die.
Don’t investigate the noise in the basement – you’re gonna die.
Black people aren’t stupid enough to be in horror movie situations – they don’t die.
If the house tells you to leave, leave.
If monsters are chasing you, don’t look backwards and fall down.
say on the ground level of a house/building.drop the heels.don’t take a shower.
Don’t be the only black person in a scary place. You will die first haha
@Sueanne_Tremendous What horror movies do you watch?
If you’re tied up to strange contraptions, don’t move around too quickly.
If it’s between you and someone else, don’t wait for them to make the first move, just saw your own damn arm off and get it over with.
@Facade atleast don’t get separated from the main group
@rangerr ..I’ve quit going…nothing freaks me anymore.
@Sueanne_Tremendous Even classic horror had slutty girls.
If you’re hot, you’re probably going to die after the black people.
Not to go off alone!
Don’t scream when your hiding!
If its between you and someone else… don’t try and be the hero!
Good tips guys, keep ‘em coming!
When you’re hiding under a bed and you think your killers are gone, don’t immediately come out of hiding. They’re just waiting for you to do so.
Do not go into the attic if you hear a noise. And if you are a hot chick, you must wear a bikini top with short shorts.
Never get close to a vat of acid. You’ll end up a skeleton!
That I don’t like horror movies.
One shot to the chest isn’t enough, shoot the killer in the head!
If you visit a hotel and a creepy, wispy fellow who lives with his “Mother” (but, you never see them at the same time, and we you do see the back of her, she looks a little stiff) owns said hotel.
Don’t rent a room and take a shower.
“Motherrrrr”.
When there is a crazy killer on the loose , run, in the general direction of away. Don’t hang around.
Don’t have sex when mysterious, weird shit is going on around the house. I mean really, my first thought when people are disappearing is to get buck naked and walk around. Yeah, okay.
Weird shit always happens to teenagers who rent a cabin by the lake.
@jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities, shooting the in the head isn’t enough. You have to grind up the monster/killer’s body and use the paste as mortar for a veteran’s hospital, or mix it with pigment and paint a picture of a smiling Jesus. Only then will the danger truly be gone.
Don’t get in the car. It won’t start!
Just some rules:
1. Cardio
2. Double Tap
3. Wear Seatbelts
4. Beware of Bathrooms
6. Cast Iron Skillet
7. Travel Light
12. Bounty paper towels
15. Bowling Ball
17. (Don’t) Be a hero
18. Limber Up
22. When in doubt, know your way out
29. The Buddy System
31. Check the back seat
32. Enjoy the little things
33. Swiss Army knife
That I do not like them. They give me night mares.
@jonsblond The car issue is in basically every damn movie.
If you start to hear some creepy music whilst brushing your teeth in the bathroom, spit into the sink, but, don’t look up into the mirror. Just don’t!
That I’m IN one right now!!
I’ve learned that IF your car works fine… it WON’T when you try to get away from a crazed KILLER.
To always look behind the shower’s curtain, look under the bed just in case a stuffed clown could be there waiting to kill me, cover the mirrors at night… mmmm and don’t leave knives and dangerous objects cause the psycho killer often kills you with whatever you have in your house.
jajajajajajaja.. I guess I’ve seen too much TV
When you manage to incapacitate the deranged killer somehow, he’s not dead. You have a chance. Cut him to pieces. Don’t run away and leave him there. Fuck him up while you have your chance.
Stairway to heaven is a literal phrase.
When you explore, everything is unlocked. When escaping, everything gets locked. Watch out for that.
Incidentally though…some years back I’m walking downtown, and I see a strange looking man walking towards me on the sidewalk. He has a huge antique axe over his shoulder. It was all rusty and messed up, but he stopped me, asking if I knew where an antique shop was. I kept my distance. He kept trying to approach me, but I circled around a car and I buggered off.
He probably wasn’t dangerous, just weird, but you have to understand my actions after seeing an seventeenth century axe on him. And if he WAS some psycho, me not loosing my time with him due to all the slasher films I have seen might have saved me…
>_>
Oh, and clowns are always evil.
so are doctors that giggle. they are real bad.
So is anyone wearing a jumpsuit.
@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard It’s a true story. There’s also this other story, some guy was trying to start his chainsaw by a convenience store, and screaming and yelling that he was gonna kill everyone. But there was no gas in the chainsaw, so apparently he came there to fill it up…was picked up by the police. I guess this town isn’t as boring as I keep saying it is haha.
Think twice before you smoke that joint.
The stoners always get killed.
Don’t go into the basement, that’s where the monster is
Don’t go into the attic, there’s another one up there
Don’t have sex, that’s when it’ll get you
Don’t run, you’ll fall down
Don’t get in the car, it won’t start
Don’t shoot it, you’ll just miss it
And even if you don’t do those things, you’re probably screwed anyway. :-P
@Jade Haha, that reminds me of the fake trailer for Don’t.
Never volunteer to be a camp counselor.
If you approach a door and from the other side comes a wet, squishy ripping noise, do not open the door.
Of course, if you are one of the actors in the horror film, that is exactly what you do, especially if you are alone. Even if the wet, squishy ripping noise is followed by a slow seeping of blood from under the door they open it..
headshots only to stop Zombies don’t waste ammo shooting them anywhere else
@Arisztid I denno why but that made me horny.
Don’t look under the bed.
At night, when driving along some deserted country road, don’t stop to help a lonely stranger with a pick ax who is looking for a rude. Just keep on truckin’.
If you’re the nerdy kid/social outcast, you will probably survive and end up with the last remaining hot chick. Her boyfriend who picked on you however, is the first to get it.
You’re not in a shoot ‘em up action flick…you will run out of ammo
Never say “I’ll be right back…”
You will not get a response from the killer if you ask him “What do you want with me?”
If you’re escaping on foot you should wear wrist/knee pads because you’re gonna fall down at least twice
1. Always check behind the shower curtain when you go into the bathroom.
2. If you are female and you’re running away from an attacker, you’ll probably trip.
3. Never go into a darkened room or up a dark staircase by yourself.
Your lingerie will not save you.
Like Steven King said, Life is more scary than anything I could make up.
That if you are a girl, and you are being chased by a killer or monster, you will undoubtedly fall down (in which case you have a 50% chance of getting hurt, which makes your run for freedom even slower and more strained). And that mere fists or blunt weapons usually have no effect on killers or monsters.
Don’t go in the basement, don’t go in the attic, don’t go into the house, don’t go out of the house, don’t go into the woods, don’t go into the park, don’t answer the phone and never say you’ll meet someone someplace else to tell them who the murderer is
I aint a scared of no ghost. Oh who am I kidding? Yes I am…
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