Who first decided that we had to wear clothes?

I’m guessing it has something to do with someone’s religion…perhaps the infamous Bible.
P.S. love the “not being nakey” tag, lol!

Cave Vogue, forerunner to Vogue Magazine.

Whoever decided that we shouldn’t be cold all the time. I think it was the same guy that invented boom noise bang rock.

Um. The first person to migrate out of Africa into someplace with a winter, and who didn’t have enough body fur, I suppose.

@Sampson But it isn’t cold in the tropics. Well, at night it can be, but that’s what blankets are for. People could have just lived in the tropics, and then it wouldn’t be necessary to wear clothes to keep warm. (In fact, some people actually do live like this here today, and that’s where the naked hippies come in…)

@laureth I think it is a common misconception to think Africa is all completely hot desert. It’s not. Some places are quite cold. When I was in Nairobi, it was in the 50’s – 60’s at night, and that was in the middle of summer. If you go to higher elevations, or up the mountains (like Mt Kenya or Kilimanjaro), it is much colder and can even have snow year-round. And I imagine that further inland, the nights are quite cold as the ocean isn’t near to provide a buffer.

God

@Facade Does God approve of how we make clothes – child labor, exploitation, human rights violations, sweatshops? Why does God want us to wear clothes when he sees what it costs to make them?

The first woman who realized she needed support whilst running away from the saber-toothed wombat.

@lilikoi – I agree. I just wanted to make it simple. :)

@aprilsimnel snicker! Great answer!

It was the first caveman who realized that wasn’t a Woolly Mastadon hair in his soup.

One day the female dinosaurs felt exploited by the male dinos looking at their no no’s all day everyday. They thought that the male dinos didn’t deserve to see the show for free, so they started covering their privates with leafs. Pretty soon the male dinos did the same.

The first people who realized that they don’t look very good naked.

@Facade – Thanks for the laugh.

The earliest humans began wearing clothes as the climate started getting colder (just as it is getting hotter right now). At first humans did not wear clothes as there wasn’t a point to it but, but ingeniously found out that animal hides were a great source of warmth. I believe that this was not a mode of fitting in fashion wise or a law that was withheld in the community, but a matter of survival.

The oldest actual remains of clothing that have been found are about 9,500 years old, but tools for making clothing go back as far as Neanderthal times. It’s safe to assume that clothing was first a strategy for regulating body temperature, but you seem to be asking more about how clothing came to be used for social rather than utilitarian ends.

The possibility has been raised by sociologists that the custom of covering the genital areas began not out of modesty, but as a way of attracting attention to those areas by ornamenting them and adding an element of mystery. One argument in favor of this theory is that in some tribal cultures where clothing is not widely worn, prostitutes often wear clothing as an enticement.

Another theory is that in cultures where spirits are seen as being behind illness and fortune, both good and bad, the genitals have traditionally been seen as highly vulnerable to attack by malicious spirits, or as points of entry to the person (sort of a magical “Achilles heel”), and so they were covered and adorned with protective amulets to ward off the evil eye.

@Harp That’s the answer I was looking for. ♥

The beginning! (or Why do they let me have a keyboard!?)

It was Steve. Well kind of. You see, Steve was one of those “gifted” guys, and as everyone walked around naked all day, someone always stepped or tripped over the spotted jungle beast. Words like “Goddammit Steve!!” and “Eew” was heard all day long, every day, until in the middle of a “WTH!” and “I am f*****g trying to eat here!” Bob came up to him, and said:

“Steve, I..amm.. you see… I think..that some people.. seem to think… that it could be that we might have a problem here.”
Steve sighed deeply. “FINE!” He said. “I will put the tiger in a cage”.
“Say what?!” Said Bobby.
“I will tame the dragon!” said Steve.
“I don’t know what that guy is talking about half the time” mumbled Jenny, who was – everyone agreed – well educated and worth listening to. Most of the others hummed in concurrence, since they figured that she could possibly be right.

And then it came to be, that Steve wouldn’t hear more of it. He was gone for a jiffy and then, he came back and wore the most appealing garment, and everybody jaws just dropped.

“Well, I hope you are all happy!” Said Steve.
He cleared his throat and announced:
“I have wrapped the sandwich!”.
“The what what?” Said someone.

He stroke a pose with his hand to the hip, straightened his back and declared. “The are wonderful and I call them pants!”, with what he hoped was the most defiant voice they had ever heard.
The long following silence was finally broken when Kenny – who never got to say much – blurted: “But they are all gray and pressed!”.
“Yes, Ken” said Steve. “Because I am a winter, and gray goes with anything”.
“Chops and gravy, lovely!” Said Bob, and everybody hugged.

I am so sorry, but I was bored. Also, somebody already said something about Neanderthals.

People wear clothes? Well, that’s why I always get funny looks.

@lilikoi – I’m sure he doesn’t mind as long as the job gets done…LOL.

I suppose men might have started it by feeling a little bit protective of their tender parts, and then they might have started requiring the women to dress in order to tell the other guys “hands off.”

Or maybe the baby diaper was the very first clothing invented. As a mother I can see a good reason for that one.

Maybe it was tribalism: a need to be able to tell our guys from their guys when we all would look just alike otherwise.

I think I’m going to bet on somebody’s wanting to look more important than anyone else: chief and shaman, for starters. Special clothes command respect. It’s hard to look like something out of the ordinary when you’re stark nekkid.

@Jeruba – Depends on the guy.

@aprilsimnel, which does? Oh, the last? Hmmm, I see your point. Maybe peace in the tribe is better served when the warriors aren’t all distracted by competition?

Hence clothes. ;)

Exactly: “insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare.” All worthy aims.

In some places in the Philippines people still wear no clothes