Can you share your insights on counteracting faulty beliefs that hinder networking?
I have been horrible at networking. Tonight there is a meetup in Manhattan of film folk, and I’m scared to go. I have told myself, “Yes, you are going to that Shooting People film networking meet up tonight and no excuses!” and I’m terrified I’ll make a fool of myself and have nothing to offer the people I’d meet there.
When I’ve met people for career-related things, I haven’t followed through with contacting them because I’d told myself they didn’t really like me. I must have interacted with over 1000 people in my working life, and didn’t keep in touch with almost all of them; I told myself that they were great people and I was a fraud, so I need to leave these decent people alone and not bother them. I burnt bridges with past employers because I saw them as authority, and subconsciously, “authority” to me was my childhood guardian, a very mentally unwell and very resentful woman.
My current counselor is working with me on dispelling the lies I accepted about myself in childhood about how I was a selfish, self-centered user. She’s trying to get me to see that I have a lot to offer people in return. I’m sure my self-perceptions are making my job search for more advanced TV and film production positions/starting my own production company in the meantime much, much harder than they should be.
How did you summon up the courage to be an advocate for yourself in a way where you did not use other people, or put others on such high pedestals that you were afraid of asking for anything?