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EgaoNoGenki's avatar

Parents, if someone tried to correct how you parent your kids and thought something needed improvement about it, how would you react?

Asked by EgaoNoGenki (1141 points ) March 10th, 2010

I’ve observed plenty of times how parents incorrectly deal with their kids, but wouldn’t suggest better ways to do so unless I was particularly close to them.

But has anybody tried to suggest to you how to better parent your child after seeing you do anything in particular to your kid that they were concerned about?

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19 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

It would really depend on what they’re saying and how logical it sounds. I have no problem being taught something that I will find to be beneficial except, given my arrogant self, I don’t think there is all that much wrong with my parenting. Though I know other people think there are plenty things wrong but that’s more of a reflection on their beliefs about gender and sexuality and food and religion.

davidbetterman's avatar

I would tell them their parents parenting was sorely lacking…

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

Oh no she didn’t…!

njnyjobs's avatar

It depends on the sensitivity of the issue and how well I know the other parent.

Exhausted's avatar

For me, it would depend on how they approached me. I had a clear plan for how I wanted to raise my kids and what I thought was best for them and fought critical inlaws and family that felt I should handle it differently. I asked for direction when I was unsure of how to deal with an issue so I was not necessarily open to suggestion otherwise. I was aware of my shotcomings and knew I would not handle everything “perfectly” and I would not produce “perfect” children and had no desire to try. I loved my kids and did the best I could with the tools I had to work with. Their well-being was always my uttmost motivation and they have turned out healthy and happy. We have a good relationship even after they have been on their own for many years. They are sons that a parent can be proud of. If I had been torn everytime someone suggested I go against my own judgement, they might not have been secure as adults. If you are confident as a parent, others suggestions will not bother you. You can just tell them you appreciate their input, but that you don’t agree and nothing else needs to be said unless they push and make an ass out of themselves and then they are the ones with the issue!

Cruiser's avatar

My kids do or try to. I am pretty on top of things and feel I do a good job and my mom has said more than once that I do so much better of a job than they ever did and that is pretty high praise.

YARNLADY's avatar

I frequently have people say how awful it is to have a toddler on a leash, but I know they are wrong, so it doesn’t bother me at all.

talljasperman's avatar

When I worked graveyard shift… I called the police and let them sort it out…but I would love advice on how to raise kids…but not orders on how to

liminal's avatar

@YARNLADY Your comment reminded me of how kat williams talks about leashes: (NSFW, contains harsh and what some would consider racist satire)

If it is a stranger I tend to be resistant, unless it is clear that they are trying to be helpful instead of judgmental. I invite people who know me and my children well to give me advice.

talljasperman's avatar

when I was 15 I saw a lady smack and drag a toddler in a shopping mall… I asked the kid if he was o.k. and he “told me where to go”... then I had an epiphany and walked away.

Val123's avatar

OK. I’ve never had a stranger try to correct me. If they did, I wouldn’t put much credit in it because they don’t know me, my kids or anything.
However, I had the one person that most everyone has. A Mom. O boy. She never stopped! Some of her stuff I blew off (The reason my nursing baby had colic was because there was something spiritually wrong in my life and I needed to pray.) Others smacked of right. Like, well, I stepped into being a Mom when my oldest was 2 years old (adopted.) I lost two years of prep. Mom came to visit not long after. Two year old was crying and whining about not wanting to go to bed. I was reasoning with her. Mom got quietly fed up after a few minutes, and just picked said two year old up, said, “You’re going to bed,” put her into bed, kissed her good night, and that was that. End of story! My husband and I looked at each other, and he said, “I’ve always thought I had to directly address whatever it was she was crying about…..” We learned. (I still have this vision of her slinging Jen over her shoulder like a sacka potatoes and tossing her into bed! She didn’t do that, of course but…yeah….sometimes just quit talking and reasoning Mom & Dad!)

jca's avatar

if the person were not critical, but respectful and humble about it, i would welcome their suggestions. however, if the person were critical or rude, or insulted me or the child, i would probably tell them off.

thriftymaid's avatar

I don’t remember that ever happening.

casheroo's avatar

You say they incorrectly dealt with their kids..but thats your opinion.

It depends on who it is, what the topic is, and how they go about it. My own mother has no tact and basically calls me a shit mother every day. She offers no real help other than the complete opposite of what I believe as a parent .Tonight, she was trying to tell me how bad breastfeeding is, because I was complaining about having some pain. It’s just ridiculous sometimes.

dutchbrossis's avatar

I would listen to what they have to say. See how much it makes sense to me, and if I see where they are coming from and think I need improvement also on that issue I would try to improve it.

kostaweb's avatar

I would listen. Not obey their every word just because they think I do something wrong. But I would give them the chance to actually speak their mind. It’s the only way I can improve myself as a human and a parent. Only a fool would refuse that.

kostaweb's avatar

@YARNLADY.

Don’t worry and ignore people if necessary. Having your toddler on a leash, to make sure he doesn’t run into the busy road. Is much better than smacking the kid, every time he does. The reason I reply to you, is because I just wanted to make sure, that you put the leash around his/her chest. Not his neck. After all, you want to make sure he is safe. Not dead.

YARNLADY's avatar

@kostaweb I got a laugh out of your comment, thanks. They wear a standard “Grandma Loves Me” harness. My dog wears a harness, also, instead of a collar.

kostaweb's avatar

@YARNLADY

Finally One Person, out of all I have talked to in my life about this topic. Who doesn’t treat me, like I am trying to shoot them. Thank you. I hope Everything turns out ok with your kid. And your dog of course.

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