Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Is there any good reason at all why people go back to an ex?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26879points) July 2nd, 2010

Why go back to an ex and get into a relationship again? There had to be a very valid reason why it didn’t work the 1st time so what could be different the 2nd time around when the time appart surely gave no chance to work on what sunk the union the 1st time around.

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18 Answers

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

If one party has achieved significant personal growth and overcome some significant problems that previously undermined the relationship, there could be a basis to explore whether the couple can build a healthy, satisfying relationship.

Your_Majesty's avatar

Assume that person can’t erase the unforgettable memory with the love one. Many people have their own personal decision on whether or not they should back to their exes(one of my friend broke up for their impossible time to staying together as a couple,her boyfriend need to study outboard so they broke up,but years after that they promise each other to become a couple again).

jazmina88's avatar

comfort and the ease of loving i guess. I have a sister that married two of her husbands twice. another reason i dont believe in marriage.

Cruiser's avatar

Circumstances sometimes change that can allow for a reunion. I have had a few relationships end simply because of stubborness and stupid arguments and if you get past those mental errors one can see things in a different more appealing light.

partyparty's avatar

Perhaps he/she realises they have made a huge mistake. Words said in the heat of the moment, cruel actions done in haste.
Once they realise the error of their ways, and can make amends and apologise, then they might want to get back together.
People grow in wisdom. Time changes things

gemiwing's avatar

Hubbs and I had a rough start. When we got back together we did so with the purpose of fixing ourselves while being in a union together. We wanted each other on the journey with us.

Everyone says leopards can’t change their spots- but we’re humans, not leopards.

truecomedian's avatar

It’s like eating at McDonald’s, the food is lousy but at least you know what you’re gonna get.

marinelife's avatar

Perhaps the couple broke up for the wrong reasons. Perhaps they truly loved one another and found their way back again.

There are many happy couples who were once exes.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

I will guess the sex!!!

partyparty's avatar

My sister-in-law married and divorced her husband three times.
They must have had something special (or not) for each other :-)

MissA's avatar

@partyparty

Reckon there’ll be a fourth?

cornbird's avatar

Could have a number of reasons for this. 1) It could be that both parties realize that they made a mistake and want to make things right between them. 2) Could have a child that longs to see both parents back together so they get together for the sake of the child. 3) Could be that the person cannot find anyone else that puts up with his/her attitude or personality or cant find someone who can understand them the way that their previous partner did. 4) The sex.
When people break up with each other they still carry a piece of that person with them…their negatives and their positives. Sometimes people weigh the negatives of the person with the positives and they realize that their positives mean more to them than the negative. It is really true of the saying that we dont understand what we have until it is gone. Only when that person leaves, we then realize how that person had a hold on our lives even if that person was there in our lives for a little while…. We must all remember this before making any decisions reguarding breakups.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Time invested and the belief with better communication/efforts than a fulfilling relationship can result. Lots of people want it and are willing to try for it a few times before throwing in the towel.

Kids. Lots of people have so much of what they feel as love reliant on being a family unit that they’re willing to go back to a partner they don’t necessarily trust or respect in order to have the family lifestyle and optimum access to their kids. Friends and in-law relationships go with this too.

Some people feel that partner isn’t perfect but the closest they’ve had and the fear of not being love any better than that is stronger than the belief someone better suited will come and the willingness to wait out the lonliness to get there.

Face it, when you break up then you break up whatever lifestyle you’ve been living with that person. You no longer have a taken for granted meal partner, snuggle partner, confidant, sex partner, movie buddy, exercise buddy, etc. Maybe you don’t like the feeling of being “Mike” as much as you liked being “Dad” or “Honey”. Maybe you hate the idea of not fitting in with your couples friends anymore, the might shun you for other partner instead, your family might scrutinize you for not hanging in there, not working hard enough.

partyparty's avatar

@MissA I certainly hope not. I am running out of ideas for outfits to wear LOLL !!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@partyparty cornbird Could it be just as easy to say they never should have been together and their coupling up was the mistake? That maybe they realized like oil and water they should have never been and if smart that is the way they should keep it?

@marinelife ”Perhaps they truly loved one another and found their way back again.” How about being so much in love that you never let the lines of communication crash so you can handle problems before you end up apart and having to look back at what you maybe losing?

partyparty's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Yes I agree totally with your theory. They don’t seem to learn that being together isn’t going to work out.
BTW they are divorced at the moment LOLL

perspicacious's avatar

The basic traits that attracted you to him/her in the first place. That’s my guess. I’ve never done this myself.

cornbird's avatar

@hypocrsy I would never say that being together with a person was a mistake. To me it is never a mistake to love someone. You learn things from that other person which could always help you in the long run. You might look at it afterwards and say that it is a mistake but when in another relationship you may not make the same mistakes or you may not fall for the things that your ex did to you.

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