Social Question

mandybookworm's avatar

What is your idea of a healthy relationship?

Asked by mandybookworm (712 points ) July 20th, 2010

I want to know your definition of a healthy relationship, and things to watch out for when dating. Is a needy person a good thing? Does the media portray relationships in a realistic way? why or why not?

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24 Answers

Austinlad's avatar

A duplex.

Blackberry's avatar

In an ideal world, we wouldn’t have self-esteem problems, drug problems, oppression or power struggles etc. We would be able to start every relationship with a clean mental slate, not comparing new mates to others that have wronged us etc. We would have exceptional communications skills as well to prevent resentment, passive aggresiveness etc.

Different people are compatible with different people. What is healthy to some people may not work for others. Age is a good example: A 22 year-old will have different motivations and goals compared to a 42-year old.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My idea of a healthy relationship is my relationship with my husband – we’re equals, we have focused passions and passions apart from one another, we’re on the same wavelength in terms of sex and inspire and are inspired by one another.

janbb's avatar

A healthy relationship allows each person to grow within and without the relationship. Ideally, there isn’t coercion or control and issues are ironed out through discussion.

marinelife's avatar

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, which also involves love, sexual compatibility and desire, and wanting one’s partner to succeed.

No, i do not think neediness is a good thing. A needy person can never be filled from outside. They need to do work on their self-esteem.

One marital relationship that I think is portrayed in a very real way is the one in the TV show Medium.

Coloma's avatar

I’m with @Austinlad

20 acres, two houses and a picnic table in the middle. lol

Healthy relationships are about growth, lack of any type of abuse or manipulation, open, honest, direct communication and a spiritual link that reminds us to always look within rather than without when issues arise.

I actively choose being single at this time as the healthier one becomes the more the pool shrinks. lol

ucme's avatar

Compatibility a shared sense of humour & bundles of lurve!

wundayatta's avatar

A healthy relationship is one that makes the participants in that relationship feel good. They are getting what they want out of the relationship. They communicate freely and need hold back nothing. They enjoy each others’ company when they are together. They are equal in getting what they need from the relationship, although they don’t have to need the same things.

Equality—in just about everything—seems like a good relationship to me. Equality, however, does not mean it has to be the same for the parties in the relationship. Far from it. It just means that the satisfaction is equal, and the good will is equal, in it meets all involved’s needs.

Acceptance of the relationship as it is at the moment, and no need to demand anything else (although asking is fine). By this, I mean jealousy isn’t there because of the acceptance and fulfillment.

Pandora's avatar

A healthy relationship starts with mutual respect.
You each hope to enhance the other persons life while enhancing your own.
One person in the relationship is never more important than the other person. (equality)

If you don’t like the other person but you feel you can change them than its time to head for the hills. (This one rule already shows that the first 3 rules do not exist)
If you have to change someone, you don’t respect them, they don’t enhance your life, and you already made them more important than yourself.

I think people know when they are in a bad relationship but a desire to fix (nurture) someone is really strong. Especially in females.
If someone is all screwed up and they are pretty grown, NOTHING you do can unscrew them.
They have to unscrew themselves.
Then there are the people with low self esteem. They will suck you dry like a vampire.
They aren’t bad but they have a hard time maintaining a healthy relationship because they dont’ even know how to love themselves. They are the ones that become needy.
At the same time they are usually a victim in a bad relationship. Choosing to date people who only wish to use them as a stepping stone.

ratboy's avatar

A relationship is healthy if no sexual encounter or disagreement results in a hospital stay lasting longer than a week.

TexasDude's avatar

A healthy romantic relationship:

No emotional baggage
Regular communication
No needless bitching
Compatible interests and beliefs (if not, at least an agreement to disagree)
Mutual physical attraction and boundaries/desires
No needless bitching (this one is doubly important)

Scooby's avatar

I find if we both have our own place then all’s good…… :-/

ItsAHabit's avatar

A healthy relationship involves people who respect each other and treat each other as they would want to be treated.

evandad's avatar

Who cares. Even unhealthy relationships can be great fun.

BoBo1946's avatar

good friends! If you have that, the rest will take care of itself!

CMaz's avatar

Lots of bran.

downtide's avatar

Good communication
Trust
Absence of jealousy or insecurity
A certain degree of independence – allowing each other space as required.
Laughter.

bunnygrl's avatar

Great answers everybody, @BoBo1946 is right though, if you are best pals the rest is so easy it shouldn’t even need thinking about. Pals laugh together, cry together and come what may they face it together. Win or lose they are all the stronger because they can look back over the years and say “we did that” or “we faced that” and smile that nothing ever got between them.

Who do you tell all of your secrets and worries to? Who do you trust more than anyone else on this earth? who’s always got your back? who would you rather die than do anything to hurt? your best pal. If your best pal is also your SO, and they treat you exactly the same way….. joy :-)
hugs honeys xx

Neizvestnaya's avatar

When with your partner you not only want to but you take actions to be the best you can for yourself and them.

Aside from that, everything @wundayatta wrote.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

A healthy relationship? I’m with @austinlad….a duplex, two houses down the block from each other, two yurts in a field, two teepees in a canyon.

A healthy relationship consists (to paraphrase St Exupery) not just gazing at each other, but gazing forward in the same direction.

A healthy relationship is being with…..

Someone you would want as a best friend…if you weren’t having sex with each other, too.
Someone who lets you choose the part of the Sunday Times you like first.
Someone who actually talks to you after you make love.
Someone who remembers that you pointed at a tiny brooch in a shop window and said it reminded you of one your grandmother wore…and then gives it to you seven months later at Christmas.
Someone who holds you when you have the flu and still thinks you look beautiful with your hair plastered flat on a pillow and your cherry red nose.
Someone that you aren’t embarrassed to introduce to your friends and family because he might pass out from drinking after hitting on your old Aunt Mabel.
Someone who can spend hours in a bookstore with you and not keep checking his watch because he actually enjoys reading books, too.
Someone who holds your hand as you fall asleep.

Someone who knows when saying nothing is the best thing to say and when saying something is exactly what you need to hear.

A healthy relationship is finding someone who accepts you as you are and doesn’t change you…..and you, (funnily enough) don’t need or want to change them.

(Not that I have found all this….but don’t dash my hopes, folks.)

meagan's avatar

My ideal relationship is like a potted plant. Just needs a little attention. That’s all.

But everyone is different.

bunnygrl's avatar

@DarlingRhadamanthus it’s out there sweetheart, really it is, GA
<hugs> xx

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

@bunnygrl…......(((((((((((((((((thank you)))))))))))))))))))))) xxx DR

mattbrowne's avatar

The ability to accept imperfections.

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