General Question

Mike_B's avatar

Is it still possible to find a smart and reliable friend in this world?

Asked by Mike_B (23 points ) September 10th, 2010

I was just wondering if in this world of hate war and all this stuff it was possible to find a someone who is kind , reliable and good listener ? I mean nowadays people seems so self-centred sometime .

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21 Answers

rts486's avatar

Certainly! My friends are smart and reliable. I have literally trusted my life to them.

harple's avatar

I think as long as there are people still looking for a smart and reliable friend then such people will exist…

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Most assuredly yes. Just keep looking and when you find that friend, cling to him/her with all your might.

weeveeship's avatar

I have the same question. It seems like a lot of people I know are just interested in short-term pleasures and not a more serious friendship. Like, they’ll invite you to parties but would hardly talk to you at the party or at any other time about anyhing. If you ask them for any favors, they’ll just tell you they’re busy.

I’m sure good friends do exist though.

Jeruba's avatar

If that’s the kind of friend you are, that’s the kind of friend you’ll have.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Yes. I can count the number on one hand.

CMaz's avatar

Yes. But like ALL good friends.
You have to take the good with the bad. Or they would not be friends.

Austinlad's avatar

Sure, by doing what @Jeruba so nicely suggests. But you also have to be willing to accept that there will be times when what you want from someone else, emotionally, materially or spiritually, you’ll have to rely on yourself to obtain.

wundayatta's avatar

Can one say yes and have it mean anything? Can one say no and have it mean anything? Would anyone know what they are talking about? Why don’t people ask what they really want to ask?

This is a far too common lament about a person’s own experience. And what do they want? A yes or a no will not change the OP’s condition. There is only one person in the world who can change the OP’s condition and that is the OP himself, of course.

If you’ve only met unreliable and unintelligent people in your life, how can you explain that? Why not blame the world and say that there are no reliable or smart people around. Or if there are, they are very rare and hence, almost impossible to find.

This is a self-pitying cry, and I wonder why? What does OP really want? Do you want a friend? From fluther? In my experience, there are plenty of smart people here. I can not say much about their reliability other than they show up often.

Would you find them smart? I don’t know. Somehow, I doubt it. I think the world becomes the way we see it, for the most part. It is utterly malleable, perception-wise.

If you want smart and reliable people, then as @Jeruba said, be one yourself. Further, be open to others without judging so much. Get rid of your standards, and pay attention to people. If you have a chip on your shoulder, lose it.

Otherwise….

There are no smart and reliable people on the planet. UN regulation S23947 subsection 89 prohibits it.

Other than that, welcome to fluther ;-)

BratLady's avatar

Yes it is. Maybe you’re not looking in the right places. I do wish you luck. I’m picky but have some of the best friends I’ve ever known via the internet. We call each other when we feel sad or happy and share our family with each other. It takes time to get to know and trust anyone these days but it’s possible.

Mike_B's avatar

Hi,
Thanks for all your responses .

@Jeruba : I agree with this , and i’m trying to be like this .

@wundayatta , i’m not saying that everyone is mean and that i’m a poor poor lonely person . I’m not blaming anyone at all , i’m not judging much people either .I just met a lot of people who seemed really mean and rude or people that had bad behaviors . Maybe i’m too picky , but i don’t like people that does illegal stuff, drink a lot, tears people down just for “having fun” or “get high” with drug all day long .

By the way i’m just asking for people’s opinion about this i’m not saying that a particular answer will change anything ^^.

Trissinger's avatar

Yes, it certainly is. But to keep great friends it takes continually assuming the best about them and continuing to forgive. Its worth it. (!) I have great and faithful friends, mostly off the net but a few on the net as well, super people who have proven themselves.

But don’t look for a ‘perfect’ friend—- everyone messes up even in very small ways now and again. They’re worth working things through and so are you. :) Best of Luck to you in your search.

I just read your response above, Mike. I don’t know how good friendships can be made and kept with people who are doing illegal stuff, drink a lot or tear each other down—- they’re already dishonest to begin with and unkind to each other, by the sounds of it.

Mike_B's avatar

@Trissinger Thanks for your answer .
And yeah i totally agree , nobody’s perfect and everyone can make mistakes just as i do ^^ .

Trissinger's avatar

@Mike_B No problem. You sound like a nice guy, you’ll find some good friends. Someone above mentioned maybe looking in a different place for friends—- that’s a thought worth considering too. I find as I age that people tend to be a little kinder towards others and on themselves as well.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Here is my take on people and how the world works in general: pretty much all of it sucks. So many people are selfish, or are sheep, or enjoy making other people suffer, or any one of many negative things. I’ve learned that pretty much everything has to be filtered. When you meet people, you have to weed out the assholes, the crazies, the energy suckers, the drama queens, the users, the abusers, etc. It can be frustrating and overwhelming at times.

However, if you’re persistent and don’t let it get you down, trust me when I say there are some absolute gems out there, if you look hard enough. Everyone I consider to be a friend is a really good person. Many of them are so good, so smart, so sweet, so wonderful, that I completely admire them.

You just have to be willing to look and to be willing to discard those you don’t find up to snuff.

Mom2BDec2010's avatar

i’m still looking for a friend like that /:

Seaminglysew's avatar

Yes, she’s my best friend, but i will share her with you.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Sometimes the best friends you can have are not the same age as you.

15acrabm's avatar

yes, but i havn’t seen many lately
but i’m sure there is someone

Coloma's avatar

While I have many casual friends, I only have one really good friend that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, would be there for me in every capacity as I would in return.

Emotionally, physically, financially.

I have let go of quite a few false friends in the last decade or so.

Those that have shown me their jealousies, sour grapes attitudes, petty envies and wretched competiveness. Ugh!

While I am strong, capable, financially solvent and mentally and emotionally strong, I take comfort in knowing that if I encountered a serious hardship this friend would feed me, clothe me and give me shelter and support.

True friends are hard to come by.

weeveeship's avatar

Also remember that nobody is perfect. Everyone has his/her strengths and weaknesses. Some weaknesses, of course, are worse than others (e.g. dishonesty, manipulating others).

I agree with @MissAnthrope though, once you filter the people who you are incompatible with for whatever reason, you should be able to find a good friend that you like.

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