Social Question

SufiClown's avatar

How do I live with myself?

Asked by SufiClown (360points) October 26th, 2010

I am fat, hairy, ugly.
I am selfish, spoiled and lazy.
My career and private life are going nowhere.(I don’t think it will)

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

29 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Why don’t you blame it on your parents?? ;)

wundayatta's avatar

On the internet you can be anyone you want. You can be lazy and selfish and no one will care. You can transfer your job and your private life to the internet. You can be superman!

TexasDude's avatar

Exercise, shave, learn to work what you have.

Go work for a charity, earn your own keep, and suck it up and get a different (difficult or dirty) job.

Join a dating site.

Oh, and one more thing, as someone who has the word “Sufi” in their username, you should be well aware that your own suffering is under your control and that you aren’t a slave to the whims of your emotions.

Coloma's avatar

Well… have your story line all worked out, right down to the core of the plot that you will remain a fat, hairy, ugly loser for all time.

Sounds like a self fulfilling prophecy to me.

We do create our own reality by the thoughts we keep.

Everything you mention can be changed, and the ugliest thing in the world is someone who does not value themselves.

I say get yer arse into some therapy and work on changing your attitude before it becomes any more entrenched.

Best wishes!

JustmeAman's avatar

Those are your preceptions of yourself and not really real. Build on your self image and what you need to allow yourself to enjoy life that only you can. You can define and know what you enjoy in life and go after that. Pick yourself up dust yourself off and try again. I hope you have heard try and try again. Or if at first you don’t succeed then suck another seed or try try again.

AmWiser's avatar

You’re fine, in your own words…...“There is no point running away from life. There will be times when living in denial seems conveniently easy but it won’t help; It can’t help. We have to wipe our tears, face our fears, rub some dirt on it and move on, so that we can live, not for any other reason but because we want to.”

Change will come only when you insist on it.

josie's avatar

Hairy——shave, get a haircut, stay will groomed
Ugly——compared to what? Abraham Lincoln wasn’t much to look at, but he is generally regarded as a great man. Means nothing.
Selfish, spoiled, lazy——all of these are personal choices. Change your choices
Do this and watch your career and private life begin to transform as if by a miracle. Except it won’t be a miracle.

TexasDude's avatar

@josie, great response.

marinelife's avatar

Mostly what you have is a self esteem problem. I agree with the call for you to seek therapy.

Lacking that, try reading the book Self Parenting, which makes you aware of your inner dialogue and helps you change it.

Aster's avatar

Wonderful , Coloma and Josie!!!!

Cruiser's avatar

Unless your unemployment checks are about to run out, things can only get better from here. So get off your fat lazy ass and seize the day!

CyanoticWasp's avatar

I read a line in a book today that’s going to change my life, I think. Interested? Maybe it could work for you, too, if you want it to or just let it.

“It was the best birthday I had had since childhood. I was forty-seven and surrounded by friends, in a community that needed me, in a place that I loved, discovering more every day about what truly mattered in life. I understood that I could not control my past; it was gone. I saw nothing in my future but wondrous possibilities.

From Ice Bound A Doctor’s Incredible Battle for Survival at the South Pole., by Dr. Jerri Nielsen.

MissPoovey's avatar

Spoiled? Who is doing the spoiling? Tell them to stop. Reminds me of the 400lb man, who was bringing the food to the bed for him?

BoBo1946's avatar

It’s all about @SufiClown ! Attitude, attitude, and attitude. If you want something bad enough and will work for it, it will happen. But, sitting around feeling sorry for yourself is not going to get it my friend. Hey, get out there and get into the game and kick some ass! Be the best person you can be and that is all you can do!

daytonamisticrip's avatar

Oh come on you can’t hate yourself. It doesn’t matter what you look like and anybody who thinks otherwise can keep their thoughts to themselves. Maybe you could try being less selfish and lazy. You could start by donating to charity or volunteering. You could start walking. You don’t even have to jog. Maybe eat some salad or celery with your dinner. Do whatever you want but you can’t hate yourself. How can others care if you don’t? Your lucky all these nice people spent time from their lives helping you out even though you don’t like yourself.

Brian1946's avatar

Why does this bother you now, Rush, when it hasn’t been detrimental to your talk radio career?
Are you thinking of getting a makeover so that you can moonlight on Fox News?

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I can only give 1 lurve to Josie :(

Fat- Adopt a diet and do some exercise. Unless you’re obese then “fat” is the new norm and won’t be a big deal to most people.

Hairy- Totally up to you. There is so much you can about hair. Thing is, if you’re clean and neatly groomed then aside from a little monobrow and neckline hair maintanence, it shouldn’t be a big deal.

Ugly Means nothing if you are clean, neat, personable and positive. If you can’t muster to be positive then just be brilliant. It works. You won’t be any happier but more people will gravitate towards you.

Selfish- That could easily change if you found others to trust in and enjoy.

Spoiled- That only works as long as you get your way, right?

Lazy- Maybe that’s why you feel all the other stuff. Find some motivation to get started. Find a crush or activity partner.

Marodr13's avatar

In all reality you have to stop thinking so negative, life is to short for you to be feeling sorry for yourself.. You are alone because you have not looked out the door, make friends, meet people, love, laugh and enjoy life… It has nothing to do with weight or looks, come on, its called getting a make over and in reality whom ever falls for you will love you no matter what you look like, for al that matters is your heart and soul…
You can change your looks , you can start looking at the real you and stop name calling yourself negative things, you can start sharing, and spoiled (grow up!!) lazy, get up and do something.. All this stuff are things that you can change… Life is about what you make of it… Laugh, and treat someone else to something.. Maybe that is what you need to do..

YARNLADY's avatar

At least you are not also stupid, or you wouldn’t be asking us for help. Every one of the things you have listed can be fixed. How, you ask? Visit your local, friendly psychologist or social worker and ask for some counseling, or visit “these sites on how to change your life’

Coloma's avatar


Right! GA…not stupid…big plus! lol

SamIAm's avatar

for starters, stop being so goddamn hard on yourself. get your ass to the gym. do something good for someone else once a day. and get a makeover.

Marodr13's avatar

I thought about it last night and its not about self outside, its about learning more about whats got you like this in the inside… Meaning even if you change everything you dislike about yourself outside you are not going to be happy until you figure out what is triggering all this in the inside… Like I mentioned previous, love you inside and then outside with come on along with it… Speak to someone, or join a group.. There are so many answers, but you can lead a horse to water and they still may not drink, meaning you are the one in charge, do something about it.

mattbrowne's avatar

Step 1: Care about people who take the time to answer your question. So far you have not replied to any of this.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@mattbrowne While I agree with you to a certain extent, the OP has not been on Fluther since Oct. 30th. Give @SufiClown a break.

mattbrowne's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer – Well, there’s a small chance that the question was about testing the reactions of the Fluther community. Just a gut feeling. I hope I’m wrong. So let’s wait and see.

SufiClown's avatar

Thank You for all your supportive advice.I will try and put to action your suggestions. However, I do not feel I will be able find and love my “inside self”, like @Marodr13 said. Whenever, I think of this I’m reminded of Herman Hesse’s protagonist in Siddhartha; and the journey seems a bit too torturous.I’m sorry for the late response; I’ve been away a while.

anartist's avatar

One day at a time.
try to do one thing to better your life each day, however small.
Even if it is plucking your eyebrows or drinking an extra glass of water.

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther