Can you control jealousy and resentment?

Go to counseling or break up.

@nikipedia nonsense, teething problems, she should stick with it, those feelings will subside.

If you really want to be with him you need to drop it. You can’t change the past, quit dwelling in it. If he is making an effort to be a better person, support him. He’d rather be with a happy SO, not someone that is miserable, or he will repeat past mistakes.

It just takes time and patience from both of you. Your trust in him was broken and it is one of the hardest things to give. In time you may trust him again though bringing it constantly to his attention is not a good thing. You may by bringing it up all the time drive him away and then the choice is taken from you. If you love him give yourself some time and do what it takes to trust again. I know a couple because the man was unfaithful that he checks in with her where ever he goes and agreed to because he was the one that broke that trust.

You can’t forget, because you know that he still is.

As others have stated you do need to ‘bury the hatchet’ or he might retaliate from the constant reminder. So maybe, if you haven’t tried this already, it is somewhat painful but in my experience works, reopen the wound and ‘bleed it out’? Sit him down and clear the air completely, apologize and express your concerns… there seems to be a bad seed embedded making you think he’s still into her(even though he’s obviously not if he’s with you :) ). Maybe his reassurance will help put you at ease. If you’ve tried this… then time is my only suggestion.

This kind of thing is very difficult. Therapy would help, but that may not be an option.

Do you know why bringing it up every day is hurtful? It tells him that you don’t trust him, and puts him in the mind of thinking, well if thinks I’m doing what I’m not doing, why not go an do it?People can get tired of being mistrusted. I assume he’s apologized over and over? But you haven’t forgiven him, not in your heart.

So the question becomes why are you have such a hard time forgiving? What are you afraid of? Besides that he sleeps with someone else again. What does that mean to you? For most people it means that you might lose him, and lose him in your bed and in your child’s life and as a financial support. Is that what you are afraid of? Or is there something else?

Sometimes jealousy has to do with your own fears about yourself. You may not feel like you are good enough. After all, why would he cheat on you if you were good enough? This kind of thing damages your self-esteem.

Do you think he hasn’t suffered enough? Do you want to punish him for the pain you’ve been in? Take this question seriously. You may say, “of course not,” but sometimes our true motives or feelings are hidden from ourselves, and it takes a while to dig them out.

This may sound sort of irrelevant, but yoga and meditation can help. Exercise, too, and being involved with much more than your baby. If you and your baby are alone all the time, that lets a mind wander and make up all kinds of shit. Join mother’s groups or whatever, if you haven’t already done so.

Back to yoga and exercise. These things teach you how to let your thoughts go. If you want to stop being jealous or resentful, you have to let those thoughts go. You might take a crack at learning mindfulness. These thoughts aren’t helping you. You know that. That’s good. Mindfulness techniques help you let thoughts go—the bad ones, anyway. In theory, you can let the bad or useless or unhelpful or harmful thoughts go while keeping the ones that help you. Also, you are letting the emotions associated with those thoughts go. Something like that. I’m a little fuzzy on some of the details. But I do know it helps me to remind myself that I am thinking a thought that hurts me, and I don’t have to continue doing that.

You don’t either.

Yes, it is possible to control. Sometimes getting away from the source works. Follow the advice of @wundayatta

I won’t judge you; I’ll just say what a damn mess!

Do you feel untrustworthy and so want reassurance from him as time passes while you grow trust again or do you feel angry that he didn’t apologize enough or in a way that was believable to you?

It takes two to heal. He needs to be consistent in ways that you grow to feel comfortable with again. He can’t just get mad at you, ask for forgiveness and expect you to start a new page of thinking he’s all great. You can’t beat yourself up for not being able to heal any faster either.