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El_Cadejo's avatar

Does fluther know any jokes that are derogatory towards whites?

Asked by El_Cadejo (34484points) October 27th, 2010

Seriously, I know at least 1 joke about every race/creed but I cant say ive ever actually heard a good one about white people. Any I’ve heard have been about hicks or something like that but never Caucasians as a whole.
Anyone know a good one?

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38 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

How many white girls does it take to screw in a light?

None. White girls can’t screw.

edit: I had time to think, and I remembered another.

Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It’s hard to find them in the snow.

and…

What’s white and 9 inches long?
Nothing.

El_Cadejo's avatar

ehhh. I want to lol. Make me lawl damn it! :P

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

You asked for derogatory, not funny. haha. That’s all I’ve got. Unless more come back to me.

El_Cadejo's avatar

i meant derogatory in the sense of being racist. Sorry should have clarified. I want a legitimately good joke.

jaytkay's avatar

Like teabaggers screaming, “Keep government hands off my Medicare!!”?

El_Cadejo's avatar

lol but again not really a joke against whites, just a group of dumb ass super minorities when thinking about Caucasians as a whole.

Dog's avatar

Aren’t all blond jokes essentially white jokes?

Because if they are I can tell you some great ones!

El_Cadejo's avatar

@Dog kinda a suppose but id also think of them as woman jokes.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I googled your answer.

Why is it so hard to find white racist jokes?

Because being white is bad enough.

ha. I can’t find anything funny, but I see mine in these lists. They must be pretty limited.

FutureMemory's avatar

I can’t think of any, but there has to be some good ones about white people letting their dogs kiss them on the mouth..? That’s always cracked me up.

Why is it so hard to find white racist jokes? Because being white is bad enough.

That was pretty good :)

Dog's avatar

There are blonde guy jokes too… just sayin’

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,“Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!”

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.

Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closetfloor.

You rotten bastard, “says the husband,“my wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!!!

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Why shouldn’t white people go swimming?

Because crackers get soggy when wet.

@Dog lol.

Dog's avatar

Oh and one of my favorites…

Two blonde guys were working for the city works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole.

They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, “I’m impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don’t get it why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-man team. But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick.”

El_Cadejo's avatar

@Dog ehhhh i dont know i dont really think they’re caucasian jokes

@TheOnlyNeffie I never got the whole cracker thing? Is that supposed to be derogatory in some way? The joke is ok though, not great.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@uberbatman man, tough crowd. I don’t think they are hilarious, but I smiled at least.
“One theory holds that the term comes from the common diet of poor whites. According to the 1911 edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica, it is a term of contempt for the “poor” or “mean whites,” particularly of the U.S. states of Georgia and Florida (see Georgia cracker and Florida cracker). Britannica notes that the term dates back to the American Revolution, and is derived from the cracked corn which formed their staple food”

DominicX's avatar

There are jokes about certain kinds of white people like rednecks and Polacks, but there aren’t really any good general white people jokes. Just like there seems to be a low amount of jokes about straight people and men…

FutureMemory's avatar

I always thought it was from the old plantation days, when the white overseer “cracked the whip”.

Vunessuh's avatar

What does a white woman and a tampon have in common?

They’re both stuck up cunts.

Dog's avatar

Gringo jokes?

I found this one. Not the greatest but…

An American consultant was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “Only a little while.”

The American then asked, “Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican said, “Well, I catch enough to feed my family.”

The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard graduate and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senor, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15–20 years.”

“But what then, senor?”

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.”

“Millions, senor? Then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

bob_'s avatar

Al and Joe two guys are bungee jumping one day. Al says to Joe, “You know, we could make a lot of money renting our very own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. They don’t have it down there.”
Joe thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they’ll need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, and all. They travel down to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. When they had finished, there was such a crowd, they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration to the large crowd below!
So Al jumps…........
Al bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comesfback up, Joe notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Joe isn’t able to catch him, and he goes down again, bounces, and comes back up. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, Joe misses him. Al falls again and bounces back up.This time, he is pretty messed up. He’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Joe catches him this time and says, “What happened? Was the cord too long?” Barely able to speak, Al gasps, “No, the bungee cord was fine. It was the crowd. What the hell is a piñata?”

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I feel like you’re looking for something that doesn’t exist. All racist jokes are based on a stereotype. You’re basically going to get blonde jokes, Polish jokes, or golfing jokes. Or something having to do with a small penis.

FutureMemory's avatar

Or something having to do with a small penis.

I like how you edited your post to include that one.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

It won’t let me post my little emoticon, but I think you get the point. :)

FutureMemory's avatar

There’s a hilarious site called Black People Love Us that deserves mention. It’s full of testimonials by black folks about how much they like their white friends:

Johnny calls me “da man!” That puts me at ease. It makes me feel comfortable, because I am Black and that’s how Black folks talk to one another.


Sally and Johnny give me ample opportunities to translate rap lyrics, reggae songs, and/or street slang! Like I’m a mouthpiece for many, many cultures of dark-skinned people.

Sally and Johnny are always giving me my props on how good it is that I graduated from college and that I do not have any illegitimate children. The fact that I have never been to jail makes me a “credit to my race” in their eyes. They know my race needs all the credit it can get. Thanks for looking out you guys!

Link

meiosis's avatar

“There are blonde guy jokes too…”

<pedantry>
No, there are blond guy jokes. Blonde (with an e) can only refer to a female.
</pedantry>

judochop's avatar

What do you call a white pilot?

rooeytoo's avatar

Google WASP jokes or gentile jokes and you will find a couple of zillion.

Dog's avatar

@meiosis ~ Aww cut me some slack. I am a dyslexic blond*e*. :)

Aethelwine's avatar

damn. See, I am a true blonde. I forgot the e at the end of my name :/

FutureMemory's avatar

I’m still wondering what a white pilot is called.

judochop's avatar

A pilot you racist.

judochop's avatar

@FutureMemory I posted that link on Facebook. Half of my family is black. I thought it would serve to be funny and informative to my white friends…..Not everyone gets it.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@judochop thats not really a white joke though… I’ve heard that years ago pointing towards other races namely blacks

FutureMemory's avatar

@judochop I posted that link on Facebook. Half of my family is black. I thought it would serve to be funny and informative to my white friends…..Not everyone gets it.

Well everyone knows white people can be pretty dense at times.

judochop's avatar

@uberbatman yeah, honestly I have never heard it pointed at white folks, only blacks. Meh, all well. Any WASP joke serves as a white joke and there are soooo many of them.
@FutureMemory white people dense? Psssh. That’s being nice.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@judochop I suppose so. Unno I see WASPs different from whites as a whole. I feel a may be being a bit hard on my standards here as I am white myself so my view of it is less polarized. oh well lol

But on the note of there being some many great WASP jokes, care to supply some. Make me laugh damnit!

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