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ucme's avatar

What is something you could see in a lift/elevator that would make you use the stairs?

Asked by ucme (46700points) December 8th, 2010

You push the button & the doors slide open….. A sight or sound reveals itself to you. Something that so offends/disgusts/bothers you that the stairs seem an attractive alternative. No matter how many you need to scale. Open to any & all variants. Outlandishly funny & unusual examples are positively encouraged.

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35 Answers

YoBob's avatar

Well, a guy wearing a hockey mask wielding a chainsaw would be high on the list.

Fortunately, unless we are talking about something like the Empire State Building, I will usually opt for the stairs over the elevator anyway.

Trillian's avatar

Glenn Close. No way would I get in an elevator with her. Or Steven Tyler. Just eewww.
Also any type of pool or puddle.

nebule's avatar

I was gonna say poop’s on my mind at the moment :-/

crisw's avatar

A smoker. Or, for that matter, an elevator that smells like cigarette smoke.

HearTheSilence's avatar

One or more really morbidly obese people… I’d be paranoid it would plummet.

wundayatta's avatar

Vomit on the floor.

tinyfaery's avatar

Lots of people.

SuperMouse's avatar

If a strong smell of urine was issuing from the lift I would take the stairs.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Really bad BO. There’s one guy around here that could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon at 50 yards. I’ve had him drive by on his bike it the street, with parked cars between him and me and my eyes burned. That guy would make any stairs look good.

janbb's avatar

Someone giving someone a blow job.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@janbb That probably wouldn’t make me take the stairs.

Kardamom's avatar

A dude with his pants un-zipped
a big snarling dog
someone carrying a dead animal
a couple groping each other
someone cursing and foaming at the mouth with wild eyes
a child having a tantrum with a parent looking completely oblivious and vacant
someone with dirty, smelly, yellow toe-nailed, fungusy, bare feet
a bunch of flies or maggots on top of something un-recognizable
a body part not attached to a person
something ticking or smoking
someone loudly hocking up something out of his throat

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

A guy with his penis out, touching himself. Although..I guess it depends on the guy.

HearTheSilence's avatar

@Kardamom “A dude with his pants un-zipped” If he’s hot, that would make me take the elevator and stop it between floors.

HearTheSilence's avatar

Ugh! You beat me @Simone_De_Beauvoir lol

It’s only sexual harassment if the other person is ugly, otherwise it’s called flirting. Well that’s the way I see it anyhow.

klutzaroo's avatar


ratboy's avatar

A gaping chasm where the floor ought to be.

ratboy's avatar

@janbb, wouldn’t it depend on the length of the queue?

Kayak8's avatar

Funny, I assumed the elevator was empty until I read everyone else’s comments. As a claustrophobic, ANY other people would cause me to take the stairs. As for an empty elevator, I don’t get on/promptly get off if the doors stick or close very slowly. Lights being out would be a deterrent, no call button or telephone would be a deal breaker, out-of-order signage, etc.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

I wouldn’t get to the lift to look inside. I always take the stairs. Lifts should be reserved for disabled people or people with too much baggage to carry up the stairs.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

The smell of vomit, poop or urine has/would do it for me. Also if elevators open and there sick seeming people or kids in there then I’ll pass.

cak's avatar

Vomit—seen that one before…just eeww!!
Odors really can make me run, too much perfume or really bad BO.
Poo or Pee.
If there are a lot of people on the elevator, nope. I won’t get on. I have this personal space issue.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Agreed with most of the above. The only thing I can add is the story of a fellow hotel employee who offered to help two contractors who were working around the clock to prepare a hotel for opening. She and the two men got stuck on an elevator for the night when no one else was around and the elevator’s emergency system hadn’t been hooked up yet. This poor, young girl was stranded with two men for the night in an elevator until help arrived the next day. No more details were provided, but one can only imagine what they went through together.

AmWiser's avatar

Naked man

BarnacleBill's avatar

A dead rat. Or live one, for that matter.

YARNLADY's avatar

A sign that says “Out of Service”.

Brian1946's avatar

Elevator gremlins and a freshly disconnected cable poking through the hole that it had torn in the cab ceiling.

A sign indicating that the elevator was made by Halliburton or Toyota.

cak's avatar

@YARNLADY: geez, I never even thought of that one! I’ll add that to my list.

Kardamom's avatar

Ok, I guess I probably would get in if I saw a man with his zipper down, but only if it was Alan Rickman.

Another thought popped into my head, though, because of that movie The Shining. I probably wouldn’t get in the elevator if there was a torrent of blood gushing out of it.

phoebusg's avatar

Someone morbidly obese. My ass could use more stairs is the very next thought.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Another thought…the creepy non-electronic car vallet pulley that took the hotel bellmen from the lobby into the underground garage in order to collect a vehicle and bring it up to the front door. I only did it once out of neccessity for a hotel guest when there wasn’t a bellman available. You step onto a small slab of metal and lower yourself through a tube to the garage.

The other was a cagelike electronic trolley that moved up through a stairwell atrium in a Rome hotel. The stairs were used after the initial use.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer: Oh my! I once worked a store where we had one of those “service” waiters and it was the most fun for everyone. It ran continuously, you’d walk up and wait for the small step to come into sight, grab onto the ropes, step on and then gauge where to jump off onto the next floor. The holes in each floor were really small though so some of our guys couldn’t fit.

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