What do I need to know about living on my own?

If you don’t know how to properly clean a bathroom, ask your mom (or dad) to show you. I’ve seen far too many disgusting bathrooms in young guys’ apartments!

First make sure that whoever you choose to live with (friend or otherwise) has the same living style as you (IE: If you like to keep the common areas clean, is the other person the same) because if they are not.. nothing will destroy a relationship faster then incompatibility living together.

Pay your rent on time and if you split the rent I reccomend having a nest egg avilable for when the other person doesn’t have money or forgets to pay there part that way you wont be hurting / sweating over that.

Pay your bills on time

Don’t expect your neighbors to respect you… if you are quiet and don’t party does not mean that they will not.

Whether you move in with a friend or someone you don’t know, spend some time before you sign the lease discussing things like who does chores, how the money is going to be handled, having people stay over, how food is going to be handled, etc. If you look though some of the older questions on Fluther, you will find lots of friendships that have ended when roommates don’t pull their weight, have friends move in without paying rent, have friends who come over to party and trash your place and steal your stuff, make too much noise so you can’t study, and generally make your life a living hell or get you evicted.

Every person thinks that it won’t happen to them because their roommate is their “friend” or “nice”, but you’ve never lived with your friends. People’s personal habits in shared space over a long period of time can be an eye-opener.

If you have housemates, split the cost of a bi-monthly housecleaner. It will save you a lot of headaches and arguments.

Prepare a monthly budget that includes your half of the rent, the utilities (water, power, telephone?, garbage, sewer), and any other bills that you have. Be sure and budget for food, clothes, automobile expenses, and entertainment.

Be prepared with saved up first and last month’s rent and a security deposit.

Go through the apartment when you move in and prepare a list of things that are wrong. Have the landlord initial it and give them a copy. Take photographs and keep them with the list.

Some things you will need for apartment living:
Dishes
Silverware
Pot & Pans
Bakeware or Cassrole dish
Glasses
Dish towels
Sponge
Cleaning supplies
broom & dustpan
vacuum cleaner
laundry detergent
stain remover
Bath soap
toothpaste
Towels
washcloths
waste baskets

Good luck!

Be prepared for roommates to bail on you and or wig out. Plus make sure they are on par with housekeeping desires and habits. If they don’t have a girlfriend S/O now…plan for that eventuality and another semi permanent roommate and late night loud grunting noises. Food is a whole other issue. If there are parking restrictions where you live deal with that now. Plus do set up strict rules and or restrictions on friends, guests and parties.

First, no matter how much you think it will cost, it will cost more. If you are a ‘neat freak’ be very selective in who you room with. Or be prepared to do most of the cleaning. If your room mate is a slob (I know I am), telling them it’s their turn to clean the bathroom won’t solve the problem. Don’t expect to share the groceries or the cooking. It never works out.

Overall, if you have a room mate expect to be taken advantage of and realize that you will likewise take advantage of them at times. Tolerance is the watchword. Just make sure you have reasonably similar lifestyles and you won’t have as many problems. The ‘Odd Couple’ was a cute series, but not common.

Remember to be considerate. If you make any cash with any odd job save it and contribute to the bills. Dont have the tv too loud if your rm is sleeping…

It should be a blast. If you have a microwave and a bed you are set. Good luck!

Make sure you are mature enough first.
Secondly, it can get lonely but I don’t know if living with a friend or SO is a good idea.
I love living on my own, I have two cats to keep me company and don’t want a roommate.
Remember that you are responsible for YOU (that means, just because there are no parents doesn’t mean drinking until 4am 5 nights a week is a good idea; you have to wake up and study and do your work, etc…)
Get involved with activities… I feel like sometimes when you live on your own, you can get stuck enjoying that freedom and opt out of activities because you’d rather be home, or have friends over.
Having friends over gets expensive. At any age.
I love cooking and going food shopping, but it gets annoying when you HAVE to do it. Stock up on frozen and canned foods so that you’re never hungry… but make sure you eat your fresh veggies too!
There are probably so many more things to mention, so I’ll add as I come up with them!

Make sure there are explicit agreements between you and your roommate if you have one. (Written is always better). No bills are to be paid late, everything split down the middle, and when you pay bills, either you both have a check as a receipt or get a receipt book and whoever pays the bill gives the other one a receipt for his half. Know how to clean, cook, and be respectful of other people, whether it is your roommate, neighbors, or parking spaces. Discuss how you will purchase food. You both won’t like the same food, so it will be an issue.
I had only one roommate in my life and I will never do it again. Her S/O moved in with us and ate my food, drank my pop, and did not contribute to the household. They never closed the door, so I would have to hear them all night. Ugh.
Good luck.

Be considerate of your room mate and make sure you have open channels of communication. Let each other know stuff before it blows up and gets ugly. I still have fond memories of my first room mate, even though we were vastly different personalities, we made it work.

Don’t overextend yourself with credit. Have a budget and stick to it. If you haven’t created a credit rating for yourself yet, you can do it simply by purchasing a needed item of furniture on a payment plan, and then, of course, make sure you make the payments on time. I bought a bed at a furniture store that offered a 6 month’s payment program and I also got a JCPenny’s charge card and charged a few things on it and then paid it off the next month.

Take note now of all the things your parents do for you… cleaning, fixing… perhaps car maintenance….and make sure you know how to do it for yourself, or learn how to do it.

Ask your mom what you can expect to pay for certain items you may be purchasing in the year….and perhaps places she’s found to get a good product for a good deal.

Have a first aid kit in your bathroom.

Make sure your flat has a fire extinguisher and alarm.

That’s all I can think of for now. ... oh, perhaps… when you move, call your mother at least once a week. That’s more important than you’ll ever know.

Good luck and happy independence.

Also, buy yourself a basic set of tools (screwdriver, hammer, nails, etc.) I can’t count how many times when I was younger that I needed something like that when moving or living on my own (hanging pictures, putting together furniture, tightening up a loose doorknob, making any one of a million little repairs) and didn’t have it.

First of all, congratulations on making a big step
Learn to cook for yourself. If you have roommates, if never hurts to arrange at least one night a week that each person cooks for everyone else.

You said you didn’t know if your parents were helping you with bills. Figure this out immediately. You need to know one way or another. Having your finances arranged is a major part of becoming an adult. If bills are in your name, you’ll hurt your credit rating if you are routinely behind on bills. Make a budget and stick to it. Chances are you’ll be getting some loans for school, and building up credit debt is death. Avoid it! Chances are you’re going to have to go without a lot of the things you’re used to when living with your parents. Internet is pretty much an absolute must these days, but if you can live without cable, do so.

Craigslist is the old college student standby for free and cheap furniture and household items. Take advantage!

Living with roommates can be tough. You often won’t know someone until you live with them. As best as you can, take charge of responsibilities. Give your mates notice and adequate time to pay their share of the bills (always an equal share, no matter “who uses it more”) Don’t put up with them poaching your food from the fridge, unless you’ve arranged a shared food budget. Be aware that you may keep very different hours and have different needs for cleanliness and privacy, room temperature, smoking, noise levels, etc. The best thing you can do is be direct and respectful. Don’t sweat the little stuff, but don’t let them walk all over you either. Make some rules you can agree on, and enforce them.

Make sure everyone living in the place is on the lease, so they are legally responsible for their rent if they choose to skip out. It sucks, but it happens. The last thing you want is to be left having to pay their share because they flaked out.

Things won’t always go smoothly, but remember that this is a learning experience. Live cheap, be respectful, and good luck!

It is definitely easier to live with someone who has a similar temperment and attitude towards things. Slobs make the worst room mates for neatniks (the neatniks always suffer because they are the ones that have to clean up the mess). Loud party-loving socialites make bad room mates for those who prefer the quiet, studious environments and lack of people coming and going at all hours. People who are allergic or afraid of animals make bad room mates for pet lovers/owners. People who enjoy a warm house make bad room mates for those who prefer it to be cool. Smokers make bad room mates for non smokers. Drunks make bad room mates for everyone.

It is a very good idea to think of 100 things that are important to you and have something written up regarding each of those things such as:
Who is responsible for washing one’s own dishes?
Will you be sharing food that is in the pantry and fridge (or can you eat someone else’s takeout leftovers)?
Is it ok for you or the room mate to have over night guests? How long can they stay.
What about guests that are clearly having sex? Is that ok?
May a guest bring a pet, temporarily?
Where will the guests sleep?
Who is responsible for purchasing and replacing the toilet paper and paper towels?
Will you be sharing toothpaste, mouthwash, shampoo, shaving cream etc?
Will you and the room mate be sharing pots and pans and blenders and coffee makers and tupperware and zip lock bags and foil etc?
How will you use the TV and stereo and/or computer in common areas?
At what time of the evening, must the sound of TV’s or stereos be turned off (or switched to headphones)?
Who is in charge of keeping the bathroom, kitchen, living room and other common rooms clean?
Who owns the vacuum? Will it be shared? How often should the house be cleaned?
What constitutes clean? Who is responsible for purchasing dish soap, comet, glass cleaner etc.?
Who will mop the floor and how often?
Is smoking or drinking allowed in the house? What about drugs?
Who’s voice will be on the main land line phone machine?
What is the policy for taking good notes when someone phones?
Where will you be doing the laundry? Who is responsible for the laundry and cleaning supplies?
ETC, etc. etc.

Get a big dry erase board to keep on the fridge or next to the front door to leave messages for each other, and reminders of chores, and bills to be paid.

It’s a good rule of thumb to let your room mate know when and where you will be and give them a contact number (you should expect the same from them) You never know when something will happen when you need to get in touch with each other NOW!

Keep your doors and windows shut and locked. Every year, at least in my town, you hear on the news that some psycho came in an assaulted someone because of an unlocked door or window. Don’t give them the opportunity.

Make sure you always have more money than you think you will need. All sorts of things come up from un-expected repairs, food bills, phone bills, unexpected guests showing up, room mate forgetting to pay his share of the rent, emergency room visits.

If you decide to live alone, make sure that you have someone that you trust, check up on you every now and then (once a day or once a week, phonecall). If you get really sick and you’re by yourself, call someone immediately to let them know you are sick. My cousin was so sick once that she couldn’t drive herself to the emergency room. Luckily she called us! And we came and got her.

Some neighbors can be really un-friendly. Watch what you do, so as not to stir those kind of people up. If you end up with a neighbor that is causing trouble, make sure you document everything that was said and done, and that you saw IN WRITING and with photos if possible, with the dates that the events took place. Also document everything that has to do with a bad room mate.

Keep records of everything!!!!!!!!!! Rent, bills paid, due dates, visits by the landlord, photos of any kind of problems or damages. If you ever have to go to court, you won’t win unless you have detailed documentation.

Be a good room mate. Be polite, don’t sweat the small stuff (like people borrowing your food) and try to keep quiet and calm at all times. Clean up after yourself and give your room mate a heads up when you will be gone, having company or make any changes.

Just because you follow the above advice, does not mean that your room mate will do the same. Know in advance which items on your list are deal breakers for you. Know in advance what it will take to break a lease if you have to (usually lots of money and/or the need to find a replacement tenant).

Make sure you have some things on hand that your parents probably have, but you may not have thought of:
Umbrellas
Flashlights
Candles
Towels
Nail clippers
Rubbing alcohol
Bandaids
Pepto Bismol
Immodium
Cough drops
Toilet plunger
Aspirin or Tylenol
Scissors
Extra sheets and blankets (you need extra when you are doing laundry or have guests)
Vacuum
Mop
Broom
Dust pan and small broom
Dish drying rack
Glue
Tape
Stapler
Picture hooks
Nails and screws
Wall repair compound
Trash bins
Extra light bulbs
List of emergency phone numbers and loaded address book
Tool kit
Jumper cables

Start reading up online about renters rights and responsibilies for your state. Talk to your landlord immediately, before you have a problem and ask them how they would like you to handle problems such as a leaky faucet, un workable stove, mold discovered in the walls, stopped up toilet etc. Ask if they want you to contact them first, or if they have a list of approved repair people to call.

And please, please, please keep a little trash can next to your toilet so when your female friends come over to visit. : )

Oh yeah, and don’t become one of those people who only eat Cup-o-Soup, Macaroni and Cheese and take out food. That will set you on a life-long road towards bad nutrition. Make sure that you eat fresh fruit and vegetables and no-salt added nuts every single day. Drink plenty of water and tea and low fat milk and lay off the beer and soda. Start taking a multi-vitamin.

Eat healthy and cheap by learning how to make home made soup. Make big batches of vegetable, tomato and bean laden soups (to which you can add chicken and meat and noodles and rice and barley etc.) and know that after it cools, you can freeze soup flat in big zip lock freezer bags (let it thaw in the fridge over night, before pouring into a bowl to re-heat).

Whoever provides most of the household goods (couch, television, table/chairs, ktichen stuff) should get a break on their share of the rent, because that stuff costs money and it will show wear and tear over the course of the year.

Between now and graduation, take over doing some of the household chores – laundry, dishes, washing the kitchen floor, taking out the trash, cooking, cleaning the bathroom, etc. from your mom so you have experience with taking care of yourself.

There are so many excellent answers above, but one thing I must stress…the nest egg! I cannot tell you how awful it is to be stuck with the balance of a lease and guess what, they expect it from you! Don’t expect the person you think you know so well to always be Mr. or Miss Responsible. Get things in writing! Verbal agreements don’t do so well in small claims court.—The conversation over a cold beer: “I’ll pay this bill, you pay that bill.” Don’t always work out. WRITE IT DOWN! Have it witnessed and a notary is a great thing, too!”

Pay those bills on time! Don’t get in over your head. You don’t need the best right away. If you have credit, don’t carry more than a ⅓ of your balance at a time. (300 limit, no more than 100…and pay it off, quickly!) Don’t get a cell phone in your name for anyone; that is almost always a bad thing!

Never underestimate how much simple things can add up: paper towels, toilet paper…you get the idea. Shop smart.

Understand this, the first time is a huge learning experience. I think you are very wise to ask for advice. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for advice. Living on your own can be fun, exhilarating and scary…all at the same time. It’s a huge step. Enjoy it, but be responsible.

OH…biggie for people that move out. Your friend asks you to loan them money. Any amount, let’s say $100. Never loan money that you expect back. You’d be amazed at how many people friends will forget to pay you back!

Remember to look for good deals on things – and scratch and dent furniture is an excellent way to start out. My first couch was one that a customer returned because there were flaws in the workmanship. It was originally $1800. I bought it for $750; but I had to watch it for a month or so, to wait for it to be marked down. Turns out, it really only needed simple fixes to the fabric and was a great couch. Don’t run out and run up a lot of credit bills buying furniture, all at once.

Good luck!

19 year olds are in a fragile time in their lives to start with. And are often impetuous at best. It’s a big part of why my auto insurance is a lot cheaper than theirs. Just be ready for the shit to hit the fan. Expect it when you least expect it. You don’t want to room with someone who’s mother took care of everything for them. If you do, guess who becomes their new mother?
Good luck

Learn to cook or you’ll either get fat or broke.

if there MUST be a gathering or party of some kind, try to have it at someone else’s place, never yours….ever.

Get a girlfriend to help you with the cleaning and the cooking :)

Is always good to have girls around, they will force you to live in a civilized way

@woodcutter i disagree. if my friends were such inconsiderate slobs that i couldn’t have them all over to my house, they probably wouldn’t be my friends.

@deni I think it’s always the room mate who has friends that are inconsiderate slobs!

Know your budget, and know your requirements for the type of space you’re moving into. My partner and I moved in together from our parents’ homes a couple months ago. I think that knowing our budget and knowing what type of place we wanted to live in has saved us a lot of headaches.

The very first thing we did was to figure out our budget. How much rent can you actually afford, once you factor in all your other expenses? I estimated high on all our expenses, and now that I’m taking over more of my payments from my parents, I find they fit in easily. Estimating high ensured that I’ve had some spare money to pick up necessary apartment items as the need arises. When we’ve had a few hiccups with our income (weeks with fewer hours, that kind of thing), we’ve been able to get through them so far because we left enough buffer between what we make and what we spend. We don’t make a lot by any means, but we’re not living paycheck to paycheck either.

Know what kind of area you want to live in, and what kind of space you need. Think of every need and preference you have, and whether they are mandatory or not. We moved into the 2nd place we looked at because it matched all of our important criteria, and most of our preferences. Knowing clearly what we were looking for helped us make that decision quickly and get an apartment that we have been happy in. I asked a similar question when we were in the final stages of deciding on our apartment, and you might find the checklist towards that bottom helpful. We did.

Here’s what I wish we’d done differently. I wish we’d figured out what kind of shelves and drawers we needed to buy more quickly. We’re still puzzling on that one, and meanwhile a ton of the stuff we moved in is just sitting in the living room. We have the space because we made sure of that, but without adequate storage, it’s still in piles and cardboard boxes. I also wish we had immediately gotten into the habit of doing the dishes. They pile up, which blocks the sink, which makes it tougher to wash them, cook, or pour glasses of water. It’s the biggest pain in the ass we’ve had since we moved in.

And unless you’re six feet, get a step stool to reach high places. We’re both on the short side, and until we got a step stool for Christmas, we could barely reach the top cupboards, so they were unused.