Social Question

Jude's avatar

Gay/bisexual women, do you tend to develop emotional (platonic) bonds with other women easily, or is it just me?

Asked by Jude (32201points) January 5th, 2011

I am very open and emotional and I love interacting with other women who are the same way. Nothing physical, though. Nor romantic.

Am I a freak? I have always been like this.

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18 Answers

Vunessuh's avatar

I think regardless of sexual orientation, it is easy for some, if not most women to form emotional, platonic bonds with other women.
And when you run across the times when it isn’t easy, then I think if you can find any being that you relate to on a deeper level rather than a superficial one, the bond you’re talking about is something most of us genuinely want and at least strive for.
It isn’t difficult for our emotions to be entangled with people we aren’t interested in romantically.
So no, you’re not a freak…unless we just all are and that very well could be. :]

Jude's avatar

You’re a smart cookie, V.

Jude's avatar

The scary part can be when you cross the platonic and feelings start to develop.

rangerr's avatar

I think I’m broken. I don’t really get along with females.

Jude's avatar

@rangerr really? :( The emotional with women is awesome.

rangerr's avatar

@Jude I can’t connect with women on more than an very-basic friendship level. I’ve tried.

Vunessuh's avatar

@Jude Aw, thanks. :]
Well, I’m pretty sure that has happened to most of us at least once.
Not to mention how annoying it is wanting the people we can’t have.
Our feelings just aren’t meant to be controlled that way.
And then it makes you wonder how many people have felt that way about you. I think we’ve all been the “person someone else couldn’t have” at least once..

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I think it really, really depends.
If anything, I find it much easier to form friendship with men than with women. I’m not sure that my sexual preferences have anything to do with this. I tend to be way more nervous around women, particularly if I’m attracted to them. I’m not sure that has anything to do with how easily I form friendships, though.

Brian1946's avatar

I wonder what Fluther algorithm decided to recommend this question to me.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Yes, I do. I know there are some women who have had really bad experiences with other women and their experiences of cattiness, evilness, and whatever else, I just can’t relate at all. That’s only my personal experience, which is having had mainly positive experiences with other females.

Growing up, I was a tomboy and I had probably as many, if not more, boy friends than I did girls. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate women and I have come to enjoy their company a lot more. I love the shared experience and that I can generally talk about whatever with them, we can relate to each other, etc. I also feel that whole cheesy “sisterhood” thing. I want to support my fellow ladies.

I feel sorry for the women who have had bad experiences and have trouble relating. Not all women are bad.. in fact, I’d say most of us aren’t!

Jude's avatar

With me, when I’m not in a relationship, I have a tendency to be open (with other women) and at times, find myself emotionally attached. There are times, though, when it’s not a good thing (unattainable – she is straight or in a relationship) and I really have to back off.

The emotional can be pretty intense and, at times, hot.


MissAnthrope's avatar

I am a little drunk, so my thoughts are a bit scattered. :]

I do find it easy to bond emotionally with other women and @Jude, you aren’t alone. I find it easy to semi-fall for women, based out of admiration and attraction, I guess. I fight it really hard when it’s inappropriate, though. I’ve figured a way to kind of nip it in the bud and not go there, rather than totally fall for someone who’s unavailable (straight or taken).

I love women. They are complex (i.e. anything but boring) and the emotions make things intense and hot, for sure. Plus they are soft and pretty and they smell good.

Jude's avatar

@MissAnthrope And, there is that look in their eyes and light touches (on your knee, say) when they talk to you. Gaaaaah.


For the record, pretty ladies make me shy. And, I am not usually a shy person at all.

tinyfaery's avatar

I don’t form strong emotional bonds easily, no matter the sex. But when I do, I form bonds with men and women equally. I am very good at platonic friendships.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I’ve always found it really strange that I don’t bond as easily with women as I do with men, or as quickly, I suppose. On a platonic level. The most significant relationships in my life, long term, are with other women. Like my sisters, for example. I don’t have bad experiences with women. Well, maybe a few, but overall I feel like I relate better to men on a platonic level. I’ve never been into watching football or shooting hoops in the backyard – but every male friend I’ve ever had has always described me as “one of the guys.” I think that speaks volumes about my tendency to form quicker friendships with men.

downtide's avatar

I have always found it much easier to develop friendships with men than women. All my female friends, with the exception of one that I work with, are friends because they happen to be married to my male friends. One male friend in particular I’m very close to, and he’s the first person I go to if I have a problem I can’t discuss with my partner, and he does the same. We refer to each other as brothers.

OpryLeigh's avatar


Jude's avatar

Thinking about it, it is the same with guys. I love sensitive guys. I have always dated sensitive guys (guys who aren’t afraid to show emotion). My longest relationship with a guy was 3 years. He was sweet, very affectionate and wasn’t afraid to let go. And, he had those damn puppy dog eyes (big, brown eyes) and would purposely make a sad look when we were playing around.

On Fluther, I can show you what I mean as far as male jellies who are the sensitive type. Gris, FIddleBastard, and JeffGoldblum are like that. Not afraid to show their sensitive side and I LOVE that. That’s what I am attracted to; in a partner and a friend.

And, there is a female on here who appears to have a hard outer shell, but, inside she has a beautiful, loving (giving) heart. She knows who she is.

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