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john65pennington's avatar

Has my daughter finally met Mr. Right?

Asked by john65pennington (29235points) February 14th, 2011

After 5 failed marriages, I am wondering if the following new/old guy will be Mr. Right for my daughter. Here is the story:

My daughter is a nurse. Back many years ago, she was a paramedic on a Metro ambulance. She had a male partner for many years in the ambulance. My daughter met husband no. 2 and quit her ambulance job. This marriage failed and so did the following three. Giving up, she decided to attempt to locate her ambulance partner to just talk. They were 3,000 miles away from each other. Her ambulance partner admits that he was in love with my daughter the whole time they were together, but would not cross the line, since she was married. They have now contacted each other, thanks to Facebook, and he is joyously enroute to visit her. They both are beyond excited to see and be with each other. Question: could this have been Mr. Right for my daughter all this time and fate just played a game with both of them? P.S….her text message states she is in seventh heaven, since he arrived.

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16 Answers

LuckyGuy's avatar

I’m not sure if it is true or not but I’ve heard a parent is only as happy as his least happy child.
I wish you luck.
The most important advice I can offer is to hold your tongue.

john65pennington's avatar

Worriedguy, her mother and I have always backed her, good or bad. I have a different feeling about this situation, since they are not strangers and have know each other for two years, She knows that we are praying that is truly Mr. Right for her. She is a good person, laughs a lot and deserves someone to laugh with her for the rest of her life. Thanks for the comment. jp

LuckyGuy's avatar

@john65pennington
I, too, believe everyone deserves someone to laugh with the rest of this/her life.

They have a common interest and can swap “war stories” and history. That is good. But I have one worry- after all, it is my job. Does he know her track record? What happened to the other 5 guys? Was it drugs, infidelity, money, ...you name it? The hardest part for you will be to not say anything. (Just like you probably did the other times.)
I have a very close family member going through a divorce now.
I understand…That’s why I wish you luck.

Aethelwine's avatar

One of my sisters has had five failed marriages. She has been with her current partner for about 10 years now and is very happy. I truly believe this is her Mr. Right. Not everyone gets it right the first time, or second, or third.

I hope this is Mr. Right for your daughter. They have a history, so that should help. Be happy that she is happy at the moment. Take it day by day and be there for her. :)

BarnacleBill's avatar

I hope she doesn’t feel like she has to be married in order to be in what’s perceived by family as a “good” relationship. Make sure you don’t unconsciously put pressure on her to rush her to the altar too soon.

Jeruba's avatar

They’ve known each other for 2 years while she went through 4 divorces?

lillycoyote's avatar

To be honest, while I admire your spirit, and that both your daughter and you remain ever hopeful. These things are very complicated and I wouldn’t presume to understand what this is all about or to say whether or not this will or won’t work. But, again, to be honest, I will say that I don’t think fate is the issue here, I don’t think that’s the obstacle. But I would say that after 5 failed marriages she should proceed with caution. I suspect there’s been joy, and optimism and excitement before. But who knows? Someday my prince may come too. It’s a crazy universe.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Just let it go one day at a time and hope for the best. Never get excited. She deserves to sail in to her harbor and rest her boat which has been through choppy seas. All the very best but eyes wide open!

meiosis's avatar

Why the rush to label the relationship? Time will tell soon enough if he’s Mr Right or not. I would caution against any rush into marriage, however.

Good luck to her.

markferg's avatar

Is that his real name?

WasCy's avatar

Apparently he was Mr. Right (in more ways than one) then, and he may be Mr. Right now. He must have been a good guy to have felt that way then, in such close proximity and for so long, and for her to not even have had an inkling of that. Very honorable.

What more can anyone hope for?

So as @worriedguy astutely suggests, for now you have to be happy for them both (no difficulty there, I’m sure) and keep to the sidelines. But if you see signs of things falling apart, recall our earlier discussion of this topic (which you liked so much then), and remind her in a fatherly way if you need to someday, “Daughter, the only thing your failed relationships have in common is you. Figure out what you need to do to fix this.”

Hopefully you won’t need that, but as you know from your work experience, it never hurts to be prepared.

Good luck to all of you.

bobbinhood's avatar

I certainly hope that this works out. It’s promising that they worked together for two years in a stressful environment. That means they’ve likely seen sides of each other that often stay hidden when trying to impress a romantic interest. They’ve also learned how to work well together. It would be wonderful if your daughter didn’t have any more relationships end in heartache.

@Jeruba She didn’t go through four divorces in two years. They worked together for two years many years ago, and did not speak during the many years after they stopped working together. So, they have essentially known each other for two years since they didn’t have contact for the many years between then and now.

BarnacleBill's avatar

I love these “come back into your life” stories. I really hope it works out for her, @john65pennington. I’ve known several people where it has worked out.

john65pennington's avatar

I failed to add that after my daughters 2nd failed marriage, she received her nursing degree and moved to Seattle. There was a long time period, where they lost contact with each other. My daughter never knew how he felt for her. I think all the time, my daughter may have felt the same way for him. Wife and I hope this is Mr. Right for her. My daughter is a loving person.She has told me that she will continue to seek a man, just like her dad. That was the best compliment a dad could ever receive from his daughter. I felt honored.

My daughter stayed with most of the other men, simply because of her children. I now understand this. Being that many miles away, a lot had been kept from her mother and I. Maybe, this was a good thing. Now that they have re-discovered each other, her mother and I again will be there supporting her.

She is overdue for happiness.

Coloma's avatar

I don’t believe in the Mr./Mrs. ‘right’ fantasy, nor, ‘soul mates.’

The truth is that everyone comes together based on both parties current levels of growth and development.

Water seeks it’s own level.

Only time will tell if two people are a ‘fit’, and if they both have the skill, mental/emotional health and ability to grow together.

Even under the best of circumstances most relationships are not meant to last ‘forever.’

Someone once said that ’ relationships are not there to make you happy, they are there to help you grow.’

Once one embraces this concept there are no longer any ‘failed’ relationships, only learning experiences.

Just relax and let things unfold as they are intended to without attaching to an outcome.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Who knows, it might not work out once they’re actually in a relationship. I hope it does, though.

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